Self doubt and failure complex.

Hi I felt like this during my GCSEs, and as you say, no matter if you do the best every single time you find something to critique about yourself.

I’m not entirely sure how I got over it, it sort of happened subconsciously. I think what you need to realise is it’s year 12, the jump from GCSEs to now is bigger than we imagined even if it doesn’t feel like it, it is in content and grade boundaries. So if your grades drop slightly, it is normal. When you’re used to top grades in everything it can be difficult to see past that - I think in year 10 I cried after a English mock where I got an A - that’s how absurd it can feel. Clearly that is not the way to go, but I’m guessing your mental health is in a state where mine was.

To be clear you can relax and still reach Oxbridge/UCL. Those unis are my dreams too, but I realise that working 24/7 isn’t going to get me there, but working consistently will increase my chances. I can’t guarantee either of us will get into these unis, although ofc I hope we do, but we must realise they are not the only options.

And by the sounds of your grades and the effort you are putting in, you are bound to get into at least one university, so don’t feel that if it isn’t them you’re not good enough for anywhere, because they have so much competition it is hard for admissions to decide who to admit.

My biggest tip for you would be to relax a bit more or hang out with friends a bit more. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but try and schedule 30 mins every night at least to relax, maybe watch a tv show, read a book.

Try and have a more positive mindset, you are clearly a very able and ambitious student who’s willing to work for what they want, but don’t let it define you (sounds cringe). How you do in school is not your entire personality, even if it feels like how you’re perceived.

Also recognise that a B is still good! I had trouble when I would get the odd B in a test, but realistically you’re just one grade off that A, so you have time to develop your knowledge on that area.

I hope this helps in some form, but I think the main issue is your mindset, coming from someone who constantly thought they were a failure if they didn’t get top of the class. We all have our moments, sometimes they go wrong, but if you try your best good things normally follow