ive been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months and im starting to feel like he isnt that into me. ive never been properly introduced to his friends or family, i never get to go to his house and chill "cos his dads always in" or some stupid excuse. i only see him about 3 nights a week and all we do is go to bars and have a few drinks. i keep suggesting days out for the weekend but hes always 'busy' or puts off until the next weekend then it never happens. he tells me he loves me and i love him back, but im worried he doesnt. i feel like his friends are the most important thing to him, and i come second. im still really into him and wish he would feel the same back.
Confused & dont know what to do Watch
- 22-07-2009 09:33
- 22-07-2009 11:15
Have you told him how you feel? If it's been 8 months you should be able to tell him what's wrong.
Although, 3 nights a week is quite a lot, isn't it? It's almost half the week, and when you think that he has to spend time with family, friends and just to relax, you're not getting a bad deal there. You don't say if you've introduced him to your family? Or if he can go round to your house?
As for his friends being more important, is that a bad thing? I would say a couple of my friends are more important than my boyfriend, I love him but my best friends are... my best friends. Do you have anyone like that, that you can talk to and go out with?
I'm sorry if this came across as a little harsh, I'm just trying to get more out of you because sometimes in a relationship your feelings can get in the way of the facts.
- 22-07-2009 11:54
I agree, 3 nights is a lot, maybe try cutting down to one night a week and cutting off the sex. Then he'll wanna see you more.
Friends are important, try and keep yourself busy as much as you can, don't even think about him. It'll make you stronger.
Just remember, you don't need a guy be strong and independent by yourself then let him be an extra
- 22-07-2009 12:42
He was introduced to my family on the first week we started going out. He knows he can come round my house any time, but he only wants to come when my parents are out! I know he needs his friends but it's just at times they seem more important to him. I've got my own friends but I only see them once I week and im cool with that. My boyfriend wants to see his mates every second of the day!!
- 22-07-2009 12:45
Try and see your friends more then. If he notices that your changing your attitude he might start thinking differently and wanting you more.
- 22-07-2009 13:00
^^^ Good advice. And if you do more with your friends you'll not notice that you're spending less time with him.
How old are you both? Just out of interest. And when you say he only wants to come round when they're out, is that for a reason? If you know what I mean.
- 22-07-2009 14:12
We're both 20.
If my parents are out he'll come around to mine and we'll watch a bit of tv, chill and have sex etc. But if they're in he'll just go out with his mates, instead of us going out somewhere.
- 22-07-2009 14:19
Maybe your boyfriend is just a little scared of commitment. It doesnt mean he doesnt like/love you at all. I think you should speak to him about this as he may not have picked up on the fact that you are a little unhappy with the current set up.
There is a good chance he has never seen the way things are as unusual.