| This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. |
University has always appealed to me because of the wealth of experiences it has to offer as a student. Although I enjoy Computing and Chemistry: two of my 'A level' subjects, I am especially keen to study Biology and Psychology. For me, the main appeal of the course lies in the variety of topics that will be covered. The aspects of Biology I find particularly interesting are neuroscience and how the immune system functions and responds. In Psychology, I am very interested in what makes people unique and how different factors shape our personality.
I have had work placement in providing a service in a take away restaurant. In doing so, I was responsible for customer care and also responding to complaints. I have learned new skills with team work, helping and managing process and this also enabled me to interact with different cultures and learning new communication skills in both Cantonese and mandarin.
Throughout my schooling I have been closely involved in charity work.
Being sponsored to speak French for a day proved to be one of my most innovative (and amusing!) methods of raising money. Attending a recent residential trip to Venice, Italy has further broadened my horizons, as I feel have gained great communicational skills and experiences of which I have never thought to encounter.
I have a variety of hobbies outside school. When time allows, I find playing the keyboard and creative writing, such as poetry, a change from my studies. I enjoy using computers as a hobby and to broaden the skills I have gained from my computing course. My other pursuits include more physical activities such as attending the gym regularly and cycling.
At present, I am putting most of my effort into achieving the best grades in my A Levels to allow me to reach the next target in my education. I understand that university life will be very challenging, but I am confident that it will give me the best chance to achieve my potential, and lead the way forward to a successful career.
Comments
[General Comments:
This statement is far too brief - it uses less than half of the characters assigned (You can write 47 lines containing 4000 characters), and in doing so it misses out many important details.
The statement doesn't begin with passion for Biology and Psychology, but by saying how keen the writer is to go to university. Remember that you're applying to a department, not to the university as a whole - and that they want to see passion and excitement.
There is very little information at all about why the writer enjoys these subjects. Try to include specific topics of interest, and any outside reading you've done to complement them. It doesn't have to be mentioning books - you could say something like having enjoyed studying X I read more about it (they don't need to know where) and was fascinated to find that Y.
The rest of the statement talks a lot about extra curriculars, without mentioning how they are relevant, or what character traits they show.
