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Original post by Colpejafort
For sure haha this game is stressing me out though 
who are you supporting? 
watch your answer now 
who are you supporting? watch your answer now Check the avatar
Isn't it just super dramatic!?!
Original post by such_a_lady
Thankyou so much to both of you 
Just had a really really good driving lesson and came home to a sweet email from him asking about my day and saying he missed me, so I kind of melted and was quite nice in my reply
How's everyone getting on?
Just had a really really good driving lesson and came home to a sweet email from him asking about my day and saying he missed me, so I kind of melted and was quite nice in my reply
How's everyone getting on?
Glad he made you feel better
I'm probably the only girl in this thread who's way, way more into football than her boyfriend is, hahahaha. I like it a lot but he doesn't follow it at all.
Original post by such_a_lady
Check the avatar
Isn't it just super dramatic!?!
Isn't it just super dramatic!?!
Well, Ozil was born is Germany, thats a good enough reason to support real madrid
I'm just hoping Bayern won't score in the last minute or I'll cry my eyes out haha
Original post by colpejafort
well, ozil was born is germany, thats a good enough reason to support real madrid
I'm just hoping bayern won't score in the last minute or i'll cry my eyes out haha
I'm just hoping bayern won't score in the last minute or i'll cry my eyes out haha
mwahahahahahaha
I love, love, LOVE spending time with the boy, but I am seriously so glad to be reunited with wholemeal bread! It really is the small things. 
Original post by such_a_lady
mwahahahahahaha
aww
well, at least the game is over, make sure ur bf replies all your messages! haha Original post by caseyhayes
Dad's always do with their little girl though
True! I know that I suppose, doesn't make it any easier though haha!
Man I'm in such a lose-lose situation and it's getting me down as I don't know what to do
My LDR (other side of world) of 3 years, a couple of months ago said she wanted to go on a break. Main reason being that we first got together over 3 years ago, and fell in love, and have been seeing each other every few months, when possible, money and time permitting. We have had our ups and downs and due to this havent been able to make a concrete plan about the future ( I would have to be the one moving there). So really it just got to the point where we just werent physically with each other enough when we needed each other, there became little point to still be bf and gf. Anyway I still tried to stay in contact as much as possible, and after a few weeks she said she wanted to cut off all contact for a month so we could both decide properly what we wanted.
The last time I spoke to her was over 3 weeks ago so the month is nearly up, but the problem is even if she says she still loves me etc, I just don't know when I can see her again. I started a new job a few weeks ago as either way I needed to get money. It is a long-term position with good future prospects, but deep down I would choose to spend my life with her over job/money/anything any day. Due to other complications there is no way whatsoever she can come and live here.
So on one side if she decides she doesnt want us to be together as its just too difficult being with someone you can't share every moment with and be together, I know I will be heartbroken. And on the other if she decided she does still want to make it work somehow, I really don't know when I will be able to see her again, let alone move over there for good, which would be a big change. I'm not sure whether she could wait another 6-12 months while I save up some money
My LDR (other side of world) of 3 years, a couple of months ago said she wanted to go on a break. Main reason being that we first got together over 3 years ago, and fell in love, and have been seeing each other every few months, when possible, money and time permitting. We have had our ups and downs and due to this havent been able to make a concrete plan about the future ( I would have to be the one moving there). So really it just got to the point where we just werent physically with each other enough when we needed each other, there became little point to still be bf and gf. Anyway I still tried to stay in contact as much as possible, and after a few weeks she said she wanted to cut off all contact for a month so we could both decide properly what we wanted.
The last time I spoke to her was over 3 weeks ago so the month is nearly up, but the problem is even if she says she still loves me etc, I just don't know when I can see her again. I started a new job a few weeks ago as either way I needed to get money. It is a long-term position with good future prospects, but deep down I would choose to spend my life with her over job/money/anything any day. Due to other complications there is no way whatsoever she can come and live here.
So on one side if she decides she doesnt want us to be together as its just too difficult being with someone you can't share every moment with and be together, I know I will be heartbroken. And on the other if she decided she does still want to make it work somehow, I really don't know when I will be able to see her again, let alone move over there for good, which would be a big change. I'm not sure whether she could wait another 6-12 months while I save up some money
Hello everyone! I have been lurking around this thread for a while so thought it was about time I posted my situation
I'm in an England-France LDR and have been for almost three years since the beginning of my degree. He is french, and at the beginning my french was absolute **** so we had to rely on his english to communicate, but it was really fun and didn't really affect being able to get to know each other. Finally after three years of just sitting there like
at family occasions and around his friends I'm finally beginning to feel like I fit in there and some point in the future might be able to speak the language well.
Anyway, that's relevant because I have one more year left of my degree, and if it happens I will have to be the person who moves (his job doesn't allow him to leave the country for the next few years). However I'm really scared at the moment about not being able to find a job over there, with the language barrier along with everything else, and being able to form a new life in a foreign country. I do want this so much, and he is worth it, so I won't be giving up easily.
So really I'm wondering if there are any other people out there who have had an LDR with someone who isn't a native speaker of your language, and if people have successfully managed to move to be beside their partner in that country Might be a long shot but I'm sure people have done it!
I'm in an England-France LDR and have been for almost three years since the beginning of my degree. He is french, and at the beginning my french was absolute **** so we had to rely on his english to communicate, but it was really fun and didn't really affect being able to get to know each other. Finally after three years of just sitting there like
at family occasions and around his friends I'm finally beginning to feel like I fit in there and some point in the future might be able to speak the language well.Anyway, that's relevant because I have one more year left of my degree, and if it happens I will have to be the person who moves (his job doesn't allow him to leave the country for the next few years). However I'm really scared at the moment about not being able to find a job over there, with the language barrier along with everything else, and being able to form a new life in a foreign country. I do want this so much, and he is worth it, so I won't be giving up easily.
So really I'm wondering if there are any other people out there who have had an LDR with someone who isn't a native speaker of your language, and if people have successfully managed to move to be beside their partner in that country
Might be a long shot but I'm sure people have done it!(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Pies
Hello everyone! I have been lurking around this thread for a while so thought it was about time I posted my situation
I'm in an England-France LDR and have been for almost three years since the beginning of my degree. He is french, and at the beginning my french was absolute **** so we had to rely on his english to communicate, but it was really fun and didn't really affect being able to get to know each other. Finally after three years of just sitting there like at family occasions and around his friends I'm finally beginning to feel like I fit in there and some point in the future might be able to speak the language well.
Anyway, that's relevant because I have one more year left of my degree, and if it happens I will have to be the person who moves (his job doesn't allow him to leave the country for the next few years). However I'm really scared at the moment about not being able to find a job over there, with the language barrier along with everything else, and being able to form a new life in a foreign country. I do want this so much, and he is worth it, so I won't be giving up easily.
So really I'm wondering if there are any other people out there who have had an LDR with someone who isn't a native English speaker, and if people have successfully managed to move to be beside their partner in that country Might be a long shot but I'm sure people have done it!
I'm in an England-France LDR and have been for almost three years since the beginning of my degree. He is french, and at the beginning my french was absolute **** so we had to rely on his english to communicate, but it was really fun and didn't really affect being able to get to know each other. Finally after three years of just sitting there like
at family occasions and around his friends I'm finally beginning to feel like I fit in there and some point in the future might be able to speak the language well.Anyway, that's relevant because I have one more year left of my degree, and if it happens I will have to be the person who moves (his job doesn't allow him to leave the country for the next few years). However I'm really scared at the moment about not being able to find a job over there, with the language barrier along with everything else, and being able to form a new life in a foreign country. I do want this so much, and he is worth it, so I won't be giving up easily.
So really I'm wondering if there are any other people out there who have had an LDR with someone who isn't a native English speaker, and if people have successfully managed to move to be beside their partner in that country
Might be a long shot but I'm sure people have done it!Aw, I know how you feel. I'm spanish, my bf is irish, he doesn't speak a word in spanish and although I do speak English, it's really obvious that Im not a native speaker and sometimes it's hard for me to keep up with the conversation when he's talking to his family or friends, especially when they're talking too fast and using slang or in a very midlands accent. So even though I'm recently starting to participate a little bit more in conversations and it's getting easier for me to understand them, I've had this fear for 2 years that I wouldn't fit in there, and I still think that I'll never be as integrated in the family as other members are, which is really depressing
However you're lucky that you're a native english speaker and english is the most important language at the moment..I'm sure with your english and a basic knowledge of french you could easily find a job in France, even if you couldn't find a job in your field (which I doubt) and you had to end up working in an Irish Pub serving drinks. As for the language barrier, as you have already realized, it's something that disappears little by little, and once you live there your knowledge of french will increase very quickly so I'm pretty sure you'll have no problems at all in terms of forming a new life over there, plus as you said it's worth it and anyway he will be there to help you
(edited 12 years ago)
Me and my boyfriend met at uni, I'm from near Birmingham and he's from near Manchester so that was easy enough to get around during the holidays, but his family are moving to Scotland for his dad's work so the holidays are going to be a nightmare and I'm not going to be able to afford to see him during the summer (£70 train/plane journey)
Lately though, I've decided that this uni in particular isn't for me at all and I'm going to be going to a different one which is more local to my home but is three hours away from our original uni, so not only is it going to be difficult to spend time with each other in the holidays but we're apart during term as well.
We keep telling each other it's going to work, neither of us want us to fail and it's only 2 years till he finishes his course and will move in with me while I do my final year as he doesn't want to live permanently in Scotland, but I'm still really scared that I'm going to lose him - we find it hard to be apart for a week because we miss each other so much, but surely that means it's more likely to work in the long run despite it being difficult to start with? :/
Lately though, I've decided that this uni in particular isn't for me at all and I'm going to be going to a different one which is more local to my home but is three hours away from our original uni, so not only is it going to be difficult to spend time with each other in the holidays but we're apart during term as well.
We keep telling each other it's going to work, neither of us want us to fail and it's only 2 years till he finishes his course and will move in with me while I do my final year as he doesn't want to live permanently in Scotland, but I'm still really scared that I'm going to lose him - we find it hard to be apart for a week because we miss each other so much, but surely that means it's more likely to work in the long run despite it being difficult to start with? :/
Im American and my boyfriend is British, we go to the same Uni but during holidays I go back home to the states and he is in London. We just started dating after christmas so this easter was the first break apart and it was hard but we used Skype. If it last until summer, that will be tougher cause its 3 months.
I've just been out to see my fella in france for 10 days and got back a week and a bit ago. it was lovely to see him but i had to revise and work i found it really hard being around him again with all his little habits but i got used to it again. hes coming back at the end of may but i'm working abroad this summer and will only get to see him twice then am going to be along way away when i do my masters next year. I do love him to pieces but that fact we're going to be long distance for the next year and half really terrifies me and we're just coming up to six months, i really don't know what to do now it looks like its going to go long term =S
Hey guys, massive respect for all the LDRers, must be hard, I kind of can empathise.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...
So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!
And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in
I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy
and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
Honestly think I'm like the most mood-swingiest person in the world atm! keep being happy then remembering that I miss him looooads and then I'm sad for a while 
blaaaahhhhh. Don't know what's up with me lately 
just really wish I could see him.
on the bright side, should have my laptop back on Monday so we'll be able to skype again yaaaay, and then a week todaaaay seeing him
blaaaahhhhh. Don't know what's up with me lately just really wish I could see him.on the bright side, should have my laptop back on Monday so we'll be able to skype again yaaaay, and then a week todaaaay seeing him
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly think I'm like the most mood-swingiest person in the world atm! keep being happy then remembering that I miss him looooads and then I'm sad for a while blaaaahhhhh. Don't know what's up with me lately just really wish I could see him.
on the bright side, should have my laptop back on Monday so we'll be able to skype again yaaaay, and then a week todaaaay seeing him
blaaaahhhhh. Don't know what's up with me lately just really wish I could see him.on the bright side, should have my laptop back on Monday so we'll be able to skype again yaaaay, and then a week todaaaay seeing him
Hmm, I must have pressed anon by accident, this was me
Original post by Anonymous
Hmm, I must have pressed anon by accident, this was me
...and again. Oops
Original post by Anonymous
Hey guys, massive respect for all the LDRers, must be hard, I kind of can empathise.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...
So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!
And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in
I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy
and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
No offence, but she isn't treating you well. If she keeps making all these "mistakes" now then it is more than likely she will make them at uni. I'm not saying that your relationship won't work out, but you really need to let her know where the boundaries lie- once you are sure she understands, if she continues to completely disregard them then I think you should move on. It's not fair on you.
Having said that I hope you talk it through and work something out.
Gah, just started 5 week's worth of non stop revision at uni. And I'm missing him like mad. Won't be seeing him for at least a month as well
We always spend the holidays together, and it's awesome, but it always goes so quickly and before I know it we are back to skyping once a week and facebook messaging now and then. It works, but it's so damn frustrating.
Sorry just needed to vent. Doesn't help that I'm going away on my own for two months in the summer so I won't even have that time with him. I know some of you guys are coping with much worse!
We always spend the holidays together, and it's awesome, but it always goes so quickly and before I know it we are back to skyping once a week and facebook messaging now and then. It works, but it's so damn frustrating.
Sorry just needed to vent. Doesn't help that I'm going away on my own for two months in the summer so I won't even have that time with him. I know some of you guys are coping with much worse!
Original post by Anonymous
Hey guys, massive respect for all the LDRers, must be hard, I kind of can empathise.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...
So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!
And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
But here's my story... I need help!! :/...
So I've been together with my girlfriend now since November 20th 2011, so 5 months and a bit, but obviously to me its more like 7 months since we started hanging out properly and having a good time
Anyway, thing is, 5 months sounds and well isn't THAT long, when you're starting to consider/talk about LDRs they are generally people who've been going out for over a year! But I just want to say that my previous and first for that matter relationship lasted 15 months so I'm not just a young man being soppified 5 months in
I kind of went long distance with my first for 6 weeks (summer) when she went to South Korea for all of it! So I know how hard it is and stuff, just thought I'd set the scene and my background...So yeah, 5 months, and well, we've had our 'spats' as I like to call them over the period and stuff, but I do love her a lot... but here's my problem..
First of all, basically we can be sat in the car chilling and chatting and then she goes all quiet, and is like 'worried' about September when we will both be going to Uni, me to London and her to Norwich, which I've been told by her is a good 2 hours apart. And It is as many of you can probably empathise, one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, to handle it, know what to say and stuff.
I personally, tell her how I'm up for doing a LDR, because when I'm with her it's epic, we don't have to do anything like cinema or restaurants, we could literally just chill and talk for hours on end to be happy
and well... having a girlfriend is just epic, the security, someone to talk to about stress, happiness, worries or whatever!And so half the time she is like really equally soppy and up for it, says she never wants to lose me, and thus worried, but deffo wants to do it. But then occassionally she can just be like 'I don't know anymore, you seem really keen and I'm like worrying, undecided' ... ... 'I just don't want to ruin it' ... and I'm like telling her... why would you ruin it? If you loved me you'd want to be with me and control yourself per say? And then she goes like 'ye but ... ahh I was talking months ago with Rob (her friend) about how epic and funny freshers week will be (obviously drunken times + guys.. you know the drill)' 'just wont be fun :/' and I'm thinking to myself... that's rather sad that you think freshers will only be fun so that you can have flings or whatever.. i'm pretty sure freshers is more than just sex... its social and having fun and getting to know people -.- which you can still have whilst remaining faithful :L but I didn't say this to her haha...
But yeah, so she can be one minute really up for it, then the next she's like trepidatious... I mean I told her I'm scared as well, but I tell her the quote 'if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right'... basically reflecting the fact that if your heart and mind is into something, it will work... I'm just like... thinking... Is her heart really in it?
And then she says like 'its just a really big step, its like we're settling down or something'... and I was like... ye i understand you seeing it that way.. but the fact is Its just a decision to carry on our relationship, but at a long distance.. its no different to the relationship we have now, just distance.. if you get me? Its not a contract that we'll be together the next 3/4 years, its just continuing our relationship because we love and want to be with each other!?!?!
So I'm worried, I just need opinions and advice and support or whatever! It's really tough because at this period of time, I'm freaking out revising mad so I can get my place at LSE!! And when I get stressed out with my girlfriend its hard to concentrate :'( :'(
Also I think it may be worth adding points about our little 'spats'...
Basically, I'm her first proper boyfriend...
But over our time together, she has sometimes done stuff that really upset me and well, I didn't know whether it was wrong, but when I talked to my sister and friends about what she did, they were like 'she's out of order, I wouldn't put up with that'..
Basically the first straw was when she was just texting a guy she had met at a party... and she just essentially went on a date with him... he paid for a dinner, and they walked along the beach... but to me I just obviously got jealous, but shrugged it off, because I'm pretty caring and I always want to be the best boyfriend ever, and i don't want to be controlling so I was cool about it.
Next straw was at a party, drunken obviously.. oh wait no it was my 18th birthday house party, and basically was really mean to me, starts telling everyone really private stuff like REALLY private, and ye at one point was like 'i'm single, i don't have a boyfriend anymore' and I confronted her that night... w talked it through and stuff.. i mean it was pretty bitchy but we worked through it, I guess i'm rather weak/pushover, i'm just quite caring.. :/ but ye it did upset me a lot and my best friend Cooper was there and like 'I wouldn't take that ****'. But ye she was sorry the next day and stuff and I was like whatever its cool, we talked it out
Next, she had met my good friend Ed through me, like twice briefly, but she starts talking to him loads, and then one time, she was asking to see me and I couldn't i was busy, but I was like 'we could go beach after i'm finished' and she's like okay ... then later on she's like 'oh don't worry about walk I decided to go beach instead' I was like... 'we were going to beach hunny?' and she was like 'oh okay, i'm with someone you'd love (ed)'... so she had gone to the beach with him... so ye.. later that day I was giving her a lift to her friend Eevie, and well I was upset about her seeing ed, (because she had seem him like 2 days before that as well... -.-).. and so I quickly phoned my sister beforehand to tell her about it and my sis was like 'it's not on tell her whats what'... so I did, when she came to the car she was wearing HIS hoodie... okay fair play wear it because your cold, but in my warm car or with me.. when i have a hoodie... it wrong its a freaking coupley thing to do! You don't do that do you? So I like kinda cried, and told her how it wasn't on... like I don't mind her seeing guys but oh yeah i forgot to say how she also held his hand at the beach... and seeing him 2 days basically in a row, when she hadn't known him previously... im not controlling... but I'm highly sure its wrong?! But yeah once again we sorted it out she claimed 'she didn't know, she's new to relationship obvi and thought it was okay' and i was like 'its not'
Penultimate straw... another party... she is basically same as that other party, mean and ed was there, and she spent more time on top of Ed than me. And I mean on top as in him laying flat down on sofa, her on top, face inches away from his... so i was SOOOO Pissed off. We discussed the next day, I kinda 'scolded' her but ye,.. i mean at the party again cooper was like 'dude not on' and Ron was like 'my days you're so tolerant, my girlfriends lovely to me'. So next day I proper layed it on, because at the start of the convo she wasn't even apologising, i was like wtf!! so it was a mahooosive convo, and i proper thought we sorted it for good... and things were going well...
Until a couple of days ago... i was like 'do you wanna see me in my lunch/free period tomorrow hunny?' and she was like 'When?' I said... 'tomorrow, 12:20 -2' and she was like hmmm nah actually i've got a lunch date... I was like oh okay no worries.. with who? ^_^ and she was like.. 'none of your beeswax'.. the convo continued and she was like 'its a guy' ... ' oh and also he drives' so I was like wtf you're being a bitch (because incidently i was having trouble at home that day and really upset and she knew this) so a major bitch tbh... but then again she came up with some excuse..
So i once again talked it through with her as my saying goes 'honesty is the best policy' and we are okay... but well as a result of all this, I occasionally get doubts.. i'm not gonna lie a little part of me wants to leave her, because loadsa people tell me a relationship should be happy and you shouldn't get sad, and well I do get sad, stressed and it sometimes gets to me when we have these incidents... but then again a bigger part of me, the affectionate side, loves her to bits, when we are happy and good together its freaking epic, such good times, and so i don't want to lose that, i don't want to lose my girlfriend! And so i'm like torn here as well! It's hurting but at the same time really great!
So to sum up, this probably humongous post, and I applaud anyone who manages to bother to get through it all! I need advice, support, opinions on both scenarios, seperately and combined. It's so difficult, i just need help as its stressing me out, when i'm trying to meet my ridiculous grades for LSE!!
Cheers
You can call me Lee as well, despite being Anon,.
Almost every single sentence, never mind point or paragraph, would throw up red flags for me.
Get out! I know you say the good times are "epic", but they're being out-weighed by her, quite frankly, outrageous behaviour. Unfortunately, you can't base a relationship on fleeting moments of happiness. Go and concentrate on getting into LSE! This isn't aimed at you in particular, Lee, but I just don't understand why people stay in bad relationships. My relationship isn't perfect, but I love my boyfriend and he makes me happy for the overwhelming majority of the time. If he didn't, there is no way I would bother putting my energy into the relationship. Controversial, since I'm posting on TSR, but I would kind of say that if you need advice from internet strangers about whether to stay in your relationship, or not, you probably shouldn't still be in it!
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