The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

It's like, NO ONE TOLD ME HOW IT WAS GOING TO BE. Ugh. And Brescia's so expensive (I got surprisingly used to seeing very expensive super-cars casually parked at the side of the road!) that I couldn't even afford to go and stay in a hotel even if he had visited. Then again, one of my friends was in collegio in Urbino and it sounds like she had an amazing time.

I know, exactly. My boyfriend's degree also means that I have to follow him round if we want to live together - to a certain extent he doesn't get that much choice about which hospitals he's in at the moment. Holding on to the light at the end of the tunnel, though.

And, really, I shouldn't complain too much - I'm seeing him tomorrow! I've got my oral exam first, though (a ten minute presentation on il percorso d'autonomia per le persone disabili (self-empowerment for disabled people). Ugh, never gonna learn it all!).

hey guys, im a bit worried... im in a long distance relationship but only been together since january 1st and we've never lived near each other, always 2-3 hours by coach apart. this summer ive committed to going travelling around south america alone for two months but think its going to ruin everything with him... i know a lot of you will say we've only been together a short time but we get on extremely well. any advice? hes talked about coming out to see me but the flights are around £1000 and id feel guilty. but i know how much ill regret it if i dont take the opportunity to go. just a rant really... thanks x

I understand perfectly The only thing we can do is to go on day by day and hope that everything will be alright very soon

Good luck for the presentation of tomorrow!!! If you need anything just write me! I'm here!

Thanks. It's just so hard to learn it all, and I'm having major issues with the words istituzionalizzate ("institutionalised") and guarigione ("healing") - pronunciation disaster! Think I'm going to have to go and find some synonyms!

hey guys, im a bit worried... im in a long distance relationship but only been together since january 1st and we've never lived near each other, always 2-3 hours by coach apart. this summer ive committed to going travelling around south america alone for two months but think its going to ruin everything with him... i know a lot of you will say we've only been together a short time but we get on extremely well. any advice? hes talked about coming out to see me but the flights are around £1000 and id feel guilty. but i know how much ill regret it if i dont take the opportunity to go. just a rant really... thanks x

*Trumpet noise - its penis perspective time. See i have my uses. (should have used the smiley but there we go)

Ok on this i think you need to talk but do not accuse otherwise even with the best intentions you may come across as the demanding girlfriend. But at the same time you dont want to be too weak otherwise even with the best of intentions you could find yourself taking a back seat. Talk to him, tell him your feeling rather under appreciated and he only wants to see you when its convienient to him. Dont feel bad for wanting a little bit of attention.

a bit of give and take is needed here, give him time to take your own. Get involved in what hes doing that way it wont be "them and you" but make sure hes involved with what your going on as well.

Haha thank you for the male perspective. It's just hard because I know that (for example) if I dont put my foot down about seeing him next week I won't for a month and I don't think he views it in that way.

I'm scared that we're going to end up distant and he won't even feel like he has a girlfriend.

(again, I know there are people on this board who don't see each other for months and I shouldn't be complaining, but I feel we should be seeing each other more as the distant is not that bad)

Some of our words are strange, I know!
For "guarigione" I can think of "ripresa" or "miglioramento"...they mean the same thing. For "istituzionalizzate" you could use "legalizzate" or "riconosciute" maybe?

I admire you so much for surviving that

Hi guys,

Just wanted to hear your thoughts on sex in a long distance relationship...

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 7 months and we are doing well. But every time we meet (once every 3 weeks), we end up having sex. I mean, I'm not complaining, I love him and he loves me too, but sometimes I feel like we have it a bit too much and not enough 'talking'/communicating. I'm just worried that it will become a habit and it'll be all we do.

What are your opinions on this? Did you have worries like this or do I worry too much?

Thanks in advance.

Hi guys

Me and my boyfriend's 3rd year anniversary is coming up and I want to get him something special. I'd appreciate our suggestions!

In the past, I've gotten him comic books, quirky star wars things (because thats what he likes!), a love keyring (he kept half the heart and I have the other half)

I have no idea what to get him now. I want something that symbolizes our relationship, the future, love, etc and the fact that we have lasted 3 years (even though they have been extremely tough)

Hope this makes sense, thanks in advance guys!

I was apart from my boyfriend for four months, not five, but during that time we barely spoke at all as he was on a navy voyage. We could send one email a day to each other and got to text/call each other about once a month, and that was it communication-wise.

Aside from keeping busy and basically 'getting on with it' as you've said, I found that the best thing to do when I felt super down (i.e. on my birthday and our two-year anniversary, both of which happened when he was away, ugh ) was to surround myself with friends and family who made me feel so much better. Try and keep in contact as much as you can, too, obviously! I don't think I'd have found my four month separation from my guy anywhere near as horrendous if we'd been able to speak to each other over the internet or if we'd had more opportunity to text and call. Having something to look forward to also really helped me (aside from the prospect of seeing him again) because we'd booked a holiday to Paris before he went away, and I used to think of that whenever I felt down. With that length of separation, though, you just have to accept that there will be times when you feel horribly down about it all, but that feeling does pass, trust me.

hey, this is my first time posting on TSR so forgive me if I ramble

basically I'm heading off to uni in september and the uni is literally ages away from where I live (aberystwyth).
Obviously I'm excited to be going and experiencing uni life and everything but I have just re-kindled the beginnings of a relationship with a girl that I have been with (on-off) since I was 19 (i'm now 22). I really do want to be with her, and we both want it to develop into a long-term meaningful relationship - BUT I have never been in a LDR before, and neither has she...
I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to ensure that our relationship works, and how to make it as easy as possible for us to continue being together

Anyways hope the vast TSR can help me out!!

Uhmmm, he's being difficult today

He woke up and already I could tell from his email that he woke up irritated - has a major exam in three days. I went along with it and acted cool.
Earlier this evening he brought up two things that are really annoying for me, and I tried to keep my cool, and now something else..something in the way he speaks, or better yet some words he's using more and more often, that gives me worry that he might have met some girl he might like... paranoia -.-'
I want to be good today, I want to take the high road and just avoid conflict, but I feel like a time bomb...one more comment and I'll hit the roof!!

We have to do it again, though he has to go away again for another 3-4 months (likely four) in order to finish the qualification he's studying for, and he'll be going in either December or January. I'm praying that it'll be January, as being at sea for Christmas and his birthday would just be horrible for him.