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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Reply 8620

Ms. Snuffleupagus

Is it normal, after years of LDR, to fear that your OH will meet somebody who's 'better' than you?

Reply 8621

katehlouise

14

I wish I had some work to start on. I have way too much time to think about things.

Reply 8622

Kaitsurinu

Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus

Is it normal, after years of LDR, to fear that your OH will meet somebody who's 'better' than you?

Even some married couples feel like that, just have faith :smile:

Reply 8623

emahwoowoo

Original post by 22KT22

I know it's difficult but remember he's with you. I know thats easier said than done but everytime you start worrying remind yourself of what you put here. He loves you, find female attention awkward and you trust him! Hopefully you going back to uni will help as it'll be a distraction.

Thanks, you're right about uni being a distraction! He's talking to me lots, it's just getting hard to see photos on Facebook with girls all over the place. Time to take a FB break :smile:

Reply 8624

Anonymous #420

Original post by emahwoowoo

Hey LDRs, I can't tell you what a help this thread has been over the last couple of days. I'm in my third year and my boy is a year younger and took a gap year, so is only just starting uni. Dropped him off at uni on Saturday and I'm really happy for him to have freshers to do but I'm rather jealous and depressed because all I have to look forward to is a ridiculous amount of work!!

Plus he's living with 11 girls and only 3 other guys... I'm usually rational and not jealous and I trust him completely but man, hearing that he's the only one hanging out with all those girls is hard. He tells me everything and contacts me all the time, I even met most of the girls when I moved him in so they know I'm in the picture!! I'm just feeling a little insecure, which I know is irrational because I know he loves me and he gets uncomfortable when another girl even so much as hugs him!! I think the first few weeks will be difficult, as he adjusts and I'm still at home waiting to go back to uni.

Much love x

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Not much comfort but I am in the same position, with my girlfriend living with a couple of girls and about 10 guys...guess you just have to have trust. Keep busy, don't check Facebook too much and remember that he loves you! It'll all be okay :smile:

Reply 8625

emahwoowoo

Original post by Anonymous

Not much comfort but I am in the same position, with my girlfriend living with a couple of girls and about 10 guys...guess you just have to have trust. Keep busy, don't check Facebook too much and remember that he loves you! It'll all be okay :smile:

Thanks! It helps knowing there's other people in the same position as me. Facebook is a killer! Definitely gonna have to start limiting my usage!

Reply 8626

Ms. Snuffleupagus

Original post by Kaitsurinu

Even some married couples feel like that, just have faith :smile:

Thanks! I wanna have faith, but he disappoints me some times, like when he'll be around with his new friends and not get in touch at all, not even text me. And if I get upset about it, then it's my fault -for caring.
All I'm thinking is, what if something happened to him? If sth happened, I'd have no one to call, because I don't know anyone there.

What am I to do :frown:

Reply 8627

Anonymous #462

Original post by such_a_lady

What happened?!

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Today, he was talking about coming to see me later. Tomorrow he told me he gt no feelings for me, he's not interested anymore and I'm too far. What could change a guy's mind in less than 24 hours! I gt no clue :cry2:

Reply 8628

Anonymous #463

I met a girl on holiday and we got on great so we decided to meet up in England which we did, I live in Middlesbrough while she lives in Manchester and not so long ago I went and met up with her for a couple of days and all I can say it was the most enjoyment I have ever had with a girl! We got really close and can just say anything to each other :smile:

For the first time I was my complete self with a girl and I wasn't afraid about any of my actions in front of her because she liked me for who I am <3

Now the difficult bit is she has just started college while I am about to start at Teesside University (chose to stay at home). We are are unsure about what to do in terms of a relationship. I am really looking forward to University in terms of meeting new people and learning new things but she keeps on saying to me I need to be single and experience the Uni life "partying" I'll happily do that yes but I'm not exactly stoked at thinking "Hell yeah lets bang as many girls as possible" I have my mind set on this girl! I just really want her :frown:

I'll be living at home and keeping my job so it will just be like college again tbh as I'm not in halls or anything so won't be partying 24/7 as the travelling to the Uni at night will become expensive.

I'm seeing her again in October half term which I can't wait for and by that time I will have done my freshers week and experienced a bit of Uni and it will give me a better perspective of what I want :smile:

I'm not aiming for sex with anyone else in freshers but I can't express this enough to her! Literally all my uni life will be is going to lectures and then coming home, obviously I will do the odd partying but I know fine well a few days enjoyment with this girl easily beats a scruffy drunken night out!

Reply 8629

such_a_lady

16

Original post by Anonymous

Today, he was talking about coming to see me later. Tomorrow he told me he gt no feelings for me, he's not interested anymore and I'm too far. What could change a guy's mind in less than 24 hours! I gt no clue :cry2:

I'm so, so sorry :frown:

Reply 8630

emahwoowoo

Original post by Anonymous

she keeps on saying to me I need to be single and experience the Uni life "partying" I'll happily do that yes but I'm not exactly stoked at thinking "Hell yeah lets bang as many girls as possible" I have my mind set on this girl! I just really want her :frown:

If she's saying this she might be feeling a bit insecure and worried about you going away, if it were me that's probably what I'd be feeling and that's why I'd be saying that! Be really explicit that you just want her and want to make it work. She may just want reassurance that yes, you do want her and only her :smile:

hope it all works out for you!

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Reply 8631

Kaitsurinu

Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus

Thanks! I wanna have faith, but he disappoints me some times, like when he'll be around with his new friends and not get in touch at all, not even text me. And if I get upset about it, then it's my fault -for caring.
All I'm thinking is, what if something happened to him? If sth happened, I'd have no one to call, because I don't know anyone there.

What am I to do :frown:

I've been through this recently, and when I find out what you're meant to do in this situation, you'll be the first to know :L it's worst when it involves him going out to clubs at night and I'm always worried deep down that something might happen, like in TV shows D:
Have you tried explaining your feelings to him? He might just feel like he's constantly being checked up on? I know I would certainly like to feel looked after when I went out, just even by text, but maybe that's a girl thing :L

Reply 8632

Anonymous #463

Original post by emahwoowoo

If she's saying this she might be feeling a bit insecure and worried about you going away, if it were me that's probably what I'd be feeling and that's why I'd be saying that! Be really explicit that you just want her and want to make it work. She may just want reassurance that yes, you do want her and only her :smile:

hope it all works out for you!

I have a had a few discussions with her and we have come to happy terms :smile:

just going to play it cool for now and see how I get on at Uni! As I said before once it comes to October I will have experienced the Uni life a bit and I should have a better understanding of what I really want :smile:

It's also a more safe way for now because I have gotten really close to her so if my silly drunken mind did take over I would have huge regret on me!

Reply 8633

RhiannonEdmunds

2

Ok, so I find myself 3 days into an LDR and I'm already in pieces. Does it get any easier?

Reply 8634

Anonymous #420

Original post by RhiannonEdmunds

Ok, so I find myself 3 days into an LDR and I'm already in pieces. Does it get any easier?

I hope it does too :frown:

I am in once since the weekend and already feel awful...

Reply 8635

katehlouise

14

Original post by RhiannonEdmunds

Ok, so I find myself 3 days into an LDR and I'm already in pieces. Does it get any easier?

Original post by Anonymous

I hope it does too :frown:

I am in once since the weekend and already feel awful...

Yep, exactly the same. Last saw him on Sunday morning.

Every time I think about him I just cry, or tear up. It's alright for him because he's really busy with work. (So busy that he had to work the Sunday!)
I've just been barely doing anything so I've had way too much time to mope about. Hoping that it gets better once the work starts.

Reply 8636

such_a_lady

16

It does get better, I promise.

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Reply 8637

Anonymous #464

Hey first time in this part of the forum.

My girlfriend and I are going of to uni this year. We both went to the same High School and college and now she's going to a local Uni and I'm going to be 3 hours away down south. Fortunately since my terms are only 24 weeks of the year I will be home for roughly 28 weeks near her. However it's still the first time that we will spend 8 weeks so far away from each other so it's a worrying hurdle. A year ago we drifted apart severely for a while so hopefully we can avoid that too. In a way I'm a tad irrationally insecure about her meeting other guys but she's never done anything remotely wrong and she doesn't seem the type. I think we have a good chance (don't most?) due to the years we've already spent together and living near her on my holidays. Just thought I should have post in here :smile:

We will probably see each other by train during term but that's cost dependant so if there's some special way to save lots of money or any other tips :smile:

We shall see.

Thanks

Reply 8638

such_a_lady

16

Original post by Anonymous

Hey first time in this part of the forum.

My girlfriend and I are going of to uni this year. We both went to the same High School and college and now she's going to a local Uni and I'm going to be 3 hours away down south. Fortunately since my terms are only 24 weeks of the year I will be home for roughly 28 weeks near her. However it's still the first time that we will spend 8 weeks so far away from each other so it's a worrying hurdle. A year ago we drifted apart severely for a while so hopefully we can avoid that too. In a way I'm a tad irrationally insecure about her meeting other guys but she's never done anything remotely wrong and she doesn't seem the type. I think we have a good chance (don't most?) due to the years we've already spent together and living near her on my holidays. Just thought I should have post in here :smile:

We will probably see each other by train during term but that's cost dependant so if there's some special way to save lots of money or any other tips :smile:

We shall see.

Thanks

Oxbridge?

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