The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

I wish I had some work to start on. I have way too much time to think about things.

I need advice. I left for university on Thursday, and my boyfriend is a bit of a mess. Well, I say a bit. He hasn't been to college yet, he isn't sleeping properly, or eating. I mean, I miss him, but not this much, this quickly. I think it's just a bit of a shock to him that I'm so far away. He won't even skype with me cause he's scared he'll get too upset. He worded it as "there's too many emotions," i just have no idea what to do i can't let him get on with life cause he always says that he feels as if i'm slipping away, but then, everytime I speak to him, I just feel so guilty for leaving him. I need him to be more positive, but he's just gone into instantaneous depression... Any advice?

I've known my girlfriend for 8 months and have been with her for 3. She started off as a friend and we became best friends. We're now together and I truly love her. Our relationship is going really well despite ups and downs. We talk everyday on Skype and are in the same year. In September we will both be going to University. I will either be going Brunel or UCL and she will be going UCL or Coventry (Four hour drive). I'm worried for the typical reasons (Dullness in relationship, falling for another person etc). I know we do love each other and I know I do because she was the complete opposite from my "type" to begin with, despite many others finding her attractive. It was her personality.

Do I have much to worry about if we're both in London? Can you give the best advice for someone like me please?

Thanks

I need advice. I left for university on Thursday, and my boyfriend is a bit of a mess. Well, I say a bit. He hasn't been to college yet, he isn't sleeping properly, or eating. I mean, I miss him, but not this much, this quickly. I think it's just a bit of a shock to him that I'm so far away. He won't even skype with me cause he's scared he'll get too upset. He worded it as "there's too many emotions," i just have no idea what to do i can't let him get on with life cause he always says that he feels as if i'm slipping away, but then, everytime I speak to him, I just feel so guilty for leaving him. I need him to be more positive, but he's just gone into instantaneous depression... Any advice?

Just saw my boyfriend off on a train back to his uni. Before he left we both cried about being apart again to all you guys starting LDRs, we've been in one for a year and yep, it's really hard at times, but remember it's tough on both of you. I always forget my guy misses me just as much as I miss him and hates being apart just as much as I do. Everyone saying it gets easier are right, it does, but don't think you won't have your moments!

Much love x

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Thanks for the replies - now I know the girls/guys on the other thread are older that makes sense, I just felt a bit like a silly schoolgirl whining and although they didn't make me feel like that, I did feel I was having to justify myself a bit more.

I'm at Kent university, and he's somewhere in the midlands (not too keen on posting exactly where) but google says its 200 miles between us :P I know that mobiles and all that are on our side, we've had two phone calls in the last week (we're not really a phone-y couple, never have been) and I've never used Skype but I'll think we'll give that a go when he's settled in a uni.

I'm feeling a lot more positive today, yesterday was my really bad day. Still hurts when I see couples walking about (was in Tescos earlier and reallyyyy missed him, we'd done weekly shops together for our families over the last few weeks and I suddenly missed that) but I've made it through the first week.

My 'worry' is that he is quite a huggy person, he was with me before we got together, and with a few other of our friends. So I'm worried that (1) girls will read into this the wrong way and (2) me or family will come across pictures of him and someone else hugging on facebook. He has said he'll try not to be so huggy til I'm settled, and I know realisically they don't mean anything, but it still hurts sometimes.

I'm terrified: my LDR is over tomorrow and I've forgotten how to have a normal relationship. A whole new minefield awaits us.


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*sneaks in*

Good luck!

I am absolutely terrified of my boyfriend leaving for uni next weekend. I'm going up with him and his parents to settle him in and am dreading saying goodbye.
I know we'll be fine and that he loves me, but I can't shake this fear that he'll find someone much more suited to him than me. It doesn't help that he always has loads of girls interested in him because he's such a lovely, funny guy, but sometimes I think that comes off as a bit flirty and I'm worried someone might take that as an invitation? I know he's 100% faithful to me, and I know he will be, but I can't shake these feelings of paranoia.
Having no idea of when I'll see him again isn't helping either, but it's so difficult to get him to plan anything (he's a useless planner), and I don't want to pressure him or interrupt his uni life etc. I want him to have the best uni experience possible and I'm also worried that being in a relationship will stop him being able to do that...he's said that our relationship comes first but I want him to be out having fun, not putting things on hold for me. Yet I'm contradicting myself by saying that I'm scared of him going out and meeting other girls and something happening.
My head is all over the place, and I'm being so needy and I hate it! I'm so proud of my boyfriend for what he's achieved and for getting into his dream uni, and I want to make sure that he knows this and isn't getting frustrated at my constant worries.


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Girlfriend is going University on the weekend - whilst I have another year of college left. We're going to carry on going out - she's not going too far from me anyway, but has anyone ever felt a little uncomfortable about what could happen? We've been going out for nearly 9 months now, I do still feel a little uneasy about her leaving. She is very committed to me and she's re-iterated that to me, but there have been guys before who've taken their interest a little too far before so I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same? I guess it's down to me over-analysing a lot.

Hey, I was just wondering, how do you guys cope with jealousy in your LDRs? I've recently moved away to a different country - eight months apart, though I'm seeing him every six-seven weeks, and even though it hasn't even been a week yet I'm already feeling painfully jealous because of social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. Every time I go on there my boyfriend is posting something funny or flirty to one of his female friends, and because I'm yet to make friends here it just makes me feel miserable and insecure. I know that he means nothing by it, but how do people cope with it? I'm sure I'm not alone in looking through pictures of my other half with members of the opposite sex and feeling jealous, and it's so much harder to know what's going on when there's so many miles between you.

Thanks for any help/advice