Talking to cute guy on uni's library

No, I don't most women aren't out to hurt you, you little special snowflake.

I don't understand how people grew up and lived there lives to the extent where talking to strangers is so difficult and scary.

I mean what happened when you were a kid? Did you never go to the park or play out and meet other kids? Do you never go out and end up chatting to people. Do you not chat to people when you are in a queue in the shops or when you are waiting somewhere?

If you really don't know what you are doing and haven't had the chance to develop normal social skills - you just need to dive in at the deep end and start.

In this situation, it is probably now awkward because instead of being natural and saying something when it occurred or even properly acknowledging someone you saw a lot - you are now sitting there fretting about how to say something.

I guess you should just do what you would do if this person was a coursemate or someone you knew vaguely. Just say the normal things, 'how's your exams going?' or comment on the state of the library or say 'i can't wait until this revision is over' etc.

No, I don't most women aren't out to hurt you, you little special snowflake.

For people who don't often post on TSR, it is occasionally acceptable to talk to strangers.

What kind of strict library do you have? We have "silent study" spaces, but the majority of the library is where you can talk

You shouldn't say anything.

You should pull him to one of the social areas of the library where talking is allowed, and then say hi.

Libraries have rules you know.

"Do you like crime books? Because you're so mysterious"

Its more about just fearing judgement.. fearing the other person may find you weird if you approach them randomly.. its not like you can do the same thing as you did as a kid.. and innocently start talking to god knows who.. because you were an ignorant child back then.. but now in teens or adult hood your supposed to have some form of social judgement .. and i guess sometimes it can make you a bit too cautious.

Do your libraries have some kind of military-grade technology which insulates areas to sound transmission or do they just not realise that having a designated space for socialising / being silent isn't authority to stop sound travelling out of / into this space?

How are Newcastle girls?

Speaking for me personally, up front and honest None of these mind games. Screw dat.

The being a kid thing was just one example.

I think the main problem is that people aren't used to being sociable outside of their friendship groups. People just aren't letting on in their local areas or when they are out and about. When you are used to being sociable, it is just a habit and you lose the fear.

I think for people who make threads like this, it is really the fear of the unknown because they don't actually realise that normal people let on to people they see all of the time or just strike up conversations when they are around other people.

Social judgement is one thing but that isn't what is going on here. What is happening here is that the OP doesn't realise that the worst thing that could happen would be that this guy doesn't have much to say back or he isn't in the mood to chat or maybe he also lacks the social skills to deal with someone outside his friendship group. If you can't deal with the 'rejection' of trying to chat to someone and they don't have much to say back then you need to toughen up.

I mean, sometimes you say something to someone and they just nod and don't say much so you just leave them to it - simple as that. I know I do the same if I am not in the mood or am in a rush or something, it really isn't a big deal once you are actually used to interacting with people. I can only imagine people build it up to be more than that because they simply lack the normal experience of being sociable outside of formal environments or with friends they already know.

I mean, the library is an unusual environment - I will give you that but when I was spending a lot of time there on my own when I was finishing my masters dissertation, I started to recognise the people who were sitting by me and we were asking each other to watch our stuff and I would certainly offer to get them a brew or whatever if I was going for one. It is just a simple case of acknowledging those around you instead of existing in your own bubble.

I totally agree. I chat all the time to people on the bus, in queues... It's perfectly fine to talk to strangers (sorry kids!). How else are you supposed to meet people? Surely all the friends you have ever made were at one point, total strangers?

You should say "ooh, you can take me out without incurring late-charges".





(On no account should you say this)