Would guys avoid me?

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I have depression and a pretty abused life, still living through it. I am waiting till I get to uni to move out.

Because of the depression, I tweez my legs hair and feels a bit happy when the roots come out. I have trichotillomania but I only like tweezing my lower legs hair. My lages are very ugly and covered in scars because of that.

I have never had a boyfriend, but if I do and would he get disgusted by it. Even if I told him, it's because of the my depressed life and my mum's abuse, I know for sure he would leave me.

can guys please answer this honestly, thank you.

p.s. I have not told the whole story of my abuse.

* legs

Reply 2

silverbolt

19

Some will, some wont - it depends entirely on the person.

To be honest i wouldnt - I've been there done that in previous relationships and frankly i dont want the stress again (and it is stressful) and being an enabler.

Reply 3

From my experience as a fellow trichster, I'll say that any guy who does care about your past, your scars, anything, isn't worth your time. They're a part of you; they don't define you, and that any person who wants to be with you will want to be with all of you.

I've recently been recommended CBT by my GP recently, so if you want to overcome your trich, maybe go and speak to a doctor about it and see if they can do something similar for you. It's apparently very, very effective, and it might help your self-confidence to know that you have control over it. As far as the scarring goes, could you try using bio-oil or something like that on them? It's pretty expensive (though cheaper on Amazon, I've found!) but after a few weeks/months, I saw a huge difference and I'm now much happier about them and how they look.

Reply 4

BingTaoBing

8

Don't say "you know for sure he'd leave you" - that's not true! Many people with difficult upbringings go on to form solid, loving relationships. You've experienced strong emotions, strong feelings, fears and sadness in your life at that emotional richness will make you an interesting, intelligent person.

And like the above people are saying, any guy who leaves you because your legs are scarred is not worth the time of day. You'll find something special :smile:

Reply 5

OhNoes

5

Anyone worth your attention wouldn't mind. Don't let yourself be put down by those that can't see past it, finding the right person might take some time though, just keep hoping :smile:

Reply 6

OP

Original post by clonedmemories

From my experience as a fellow trichster, I'll say that any guy who does care about your past, your scars, anything, isn't worth your time. They're a part of you; they don't define you, and that any person who wants to be with you will want to be with all of you.

I've recently been recommended CBT by my GP recently, so if you want to overcome your trich, maybe go and speak to a doctor about it and see if they can do something similar for you. It's apparently very, very effective, and it might help your self-confidence to know that you have control over it. As far as the scarring goes, could you try using bio-oil or something like that on them? It's pretty expensive (though cheaper on Amazon, I've found!) but after a few weeks/months, I saw a huge difference and I'm now much happier about them and how they look.

Will my GP tell my mum because she's a family doctor and very close to her? I would love to try CBT but i'm worried about my mum finding out. Thank you, I have tried bio oil but it's not working for me :frown:

I might try castor oil.

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous

Will my GP tell my mum because she's a family doctor and very close to her? I would love to try CBT but i'm worried about my mum finding out. Thank you, I have tried bio oil but it's not working for me :frown:

I might try castor oil.

I went in to the appointment with my mum (it was for something completely different but which turned out to be stress-related), but they're not obliged to tell your parents if you don't want them to. If you let your GP know that you don't want your mum to know, they'll be breaking confidentiality agreements if they tell anyone, including her.

Best of luck with the castor oil :smile:

Reply 8

study beats

22

Original post by Anonymous

I have depression and a pretty abused life, still living through it. I am waiting till I get to uni to move out.

Because of the depression, I tweez my legs hair and feels a bit happy when the roots come out. I have trichotillomania but I only like tweezing my lower legs hair. My lages are very ugly and covered in scars because of that.

I have never had a boyfriend, but if I do and would he get disgusted by it. Even if I told him, it's because of the my depressed life and my mum's abuse, I know for sure he would leave me.

can guys please answer this honestly, thank you.

p.s. I have not told the whole story of my abuse.

i dont understand what u have done to ur legs??

but yes, i will avoid you...because thats some crazy stuff u are doing there

Reply 9

OP

Original post by clonedmemories

I went in to the appointment with my mum (it was for something completely different but which turned out to be stress-related), but they're not obliged to tell your parents if you don't want them to. If you let your GP know that you don't want your mum to know, they'll be breaking confidentiality agreements if they tell anyone, including her.

Best of luck with the castor oil :smile:

thank you

Reply 10

OP

Original post by study beats

i dont understand what u have done to ur legs??

but yes, i will avoid you...because thats some crazy stuff u are doing there

I tweez my legs hair and now they are covered in scars.

Reply 11

Original post by study beats

i dont understand what u have done to ur legs??

but yes, i will avoid you...because thats some crazy stuff u are doing there

Essentially, what it is that both of us have are a form of anxiety disorder called Impulse Control Disorders. ICDs can range from those that are body-related, such a trichotillomania (hair-pulling), onychophagia (nail-biting) and dermatillomania (skin-picking), to things such as kleptomania (impulsive stealing) and pyromania as well as certain addictions such as compulsive buying.

These are all thought to have a similar origin, although it's not known what exactly this might be. It might be a manifestation of an addictive gene, a hormonal imbalance such as a lack of serotonin, a fault in cognitive processing which means that people with ICDs don't process negative thoughts and emotions in the same way, or something completely different. They are, however, treatable with SSRIs and various behavioural therapies.

So no, it's not crazy stuff. It's a way people deal with emotions. That's all. It might not be what people consider "normal", but it's certainly not something that should serve to alienate people.

Reply 12

username944192

21

Original post by study beats

but she doesnt have one scar does she???? shes been going all ape crazy with those tweezers....

i dont have high expectations, just saying what the hell

Well you don't know how many she has. Why does it matter what the scars are from? That's what I'm saying, would you avoid someone who got burnt in an accident and so has scarred legs? Are you only saying you'd avoid her because she caused the scars herself? If you are that's very shallow...obviously she has a problem but that's not really the point I'm getting at. It seems you think those scars in particular are a 'turn off' because she inflicted them herself as opposed to just the fact that she has scars at all.

Reply 13

Plantagenet Crown

20

It really depends, some would and others won't. If it was me, I'd always try to understand the situation first and see if I cope with being in a relationship with those underlying issues.

Reply 14

study beats

22

Original post by clonedmemories

Essentially, what it is that both of us have are a form of anxiety disorder called Impulse Control Disorders. ICDs can range from those that are body-related, such a trichotillomania (hair-pulling), onychophagia (nail-biting) and dermatillomania (skin-picking), to things such as kleptomania (impulsive stealing) and pyromania as well as certain addictions such as compulsive buying.

These are all thought to have a similar origin, although it's not known what exactly this might be. It might be a manifestation of an addictive gene, a hormonal imbalance such as a lack of serotonin, a fault in cognitive processing which means that people with ICDs don't process negative thoughts and emotions in the same way, or something completely different. They are, however, treatable with SSRIs and various behavioural therapies.

So no, it's not crazy stuff. It's a way people deal with emotions. That's all. It might not be what people consider "normal", but it's certainly not something that should serve to alienate people.

what the? why are u giving me a biology essay?

I just thought it was weird what she doing but i dont really care now

Reply 15

study beats

22

Original post by infairverona

Well you don't know how many she has. Why does it matter what the scars are from? That's what I'm saying, would you avoid someone who got burnt in an accident and so has scarred legs? Are you only saying you'd avoid her because she caused the scars herself? If you are that's very shallow...obviously she has a problem but that's not really the point I'm getting at. It seems you think those scars in particular are a 'turn off' because she inflicted them herself as opposed to just the fact that she has scars at all.

i dont know what ur saying, but its kinda a turn off if a girl cant look after herself...and what if her face looks different to me, how is that shallow? its my preference....

would u date a girl u werent attracted to, i fought so

Reply 16