Appropriate age for child

What do you think is an appropriate age to have a child? I am 19 and there are tones of people my age with children, I don't think I could cope with the cost and responsibilities of having children. Most people have children unplanned at this age.

I personally feel as though having a child is a very serious responsbility and most people around 18/19 don't really take the idea seriously. You really should be financially sound to have a child imo in order to provide them with up to standard care and you should also be quite mature, so for me the age would be 27. I also feel as though you need to finish your education, I have watched these kids and most of them have had to drop out of education.

Not trying to judge.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Truflais

20

Personally, when I'm completely settled. So married, both have good jobs so financially sound, have a house and a car. Ideally I'd like to be ready by late twenties to early thirties, 27+. I know a girl my age (21) who already has 3 kids but I couldn't even imagine having 1 child at this age. :afraid:

Reply 2

bittr n swt

3

Appropriate is different for everyone

I'll say 25-35.

Reply 3

Frostyjoe

OP

21

Original post by Precious Illusions

Personally, when I'm completely settled. So married, both have good jobs so financially sound, have a house and a car. Ideally I'd like to be ready by late twenties to early thirties, 27+. I know a girl my age (21) who already has 3 kids but I couldn't even imagine having 1 child at this age. :afraid:

Yeah I don't know how they do it. I guess they just get on with it or else they get their parents to do all the work. If you have to do that you shouldn't have kids.

Reply 4

rockrunride

19

No idea, can't see myself ever agreeing to it. But lives and mentalities change I suppose.

Depends on the person. I had my first at 21. My mother on the other hand had me (her only child) at 34.

Whatever works really.

Reply 6

alexschmalex

19

My parents were 26 when they had me and that's around where I wanna start, but I defo don't wanna start after 30

Reply 7

whatisthis47

18

Whenever you're ready? It's a cop out answer but it's true. I'm 20 and if the circumstances were right (good husband, financial stability, health of the kid, me weighing 15lbs less than I do now :mmm:

) I'd be happy to have a kid as soon as I finish uni whereas my sister didn't feel ready at 27, which is when she had my nephew. She's in an excellent place financially, is incredibly responsible, she has a good marriage and a nice house with more than enough space for the kid, yet it's been almost 2 years since she had him and those particular circumstances haven't changed, yet still she feels insecure as a mother. Some people never feel ready, while some people feel ready at a really young age. It's more about your sort of "psychological age" than your actual age.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

RF_PineMarten

18

Original post by Precious Illusions

Personally, when I'm completely settled. So married, both have good jobs so financially sound, have a house and a car. Ideally I'd like to be ready by late twenties to early thirties, 27+. I know a girl my age (21) who already has 3 kids but I couldn't even imagine having 1 child at this age. :afraid:

This.

I'd want to be in a stable marriage, and for both of us to have stable fairly well paid full time jobs. Not just after I graduate when I could well be moving from one job to another pretty often.

I was also aiming for late 20s.

Reply 9

Tiger Rag

22

My parents were 25 and 28 when they had me and I was their second. My friend claims that's really young. He was 40 when his son was born and his wife was nearly 44...

I don't think there's a right age as such. I think it's more to do when you're financially and emotionally ready to have a child more than anything else.

Reply 10

the bear

20

Human reproductive physiology has not changed since the days when we lived in caves and ate mammoths for supper. At that time the average lifespan was about 30, so reproduction began as soon as the young cavewoman reached menarche. By the time she reached her 20s she would be worn out from serial childbearing and would not expect to live to see her grandchildren. Quite possibly she would be eaten by the other cave folk.
Anyhoo, my point is that our gamete production is optimised for reproduction before the age of 20. After that the cells inexorably decline. All of the female egg cells are formed in utero. Would you leave a box of eggs for 40 years at the back of the fridge ?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 11

silverbolt

19

my mother had me at 24, she was married and in 1981 was considered old to be having a child.

My sister had my newphew when she was 21 and is a single mom,

im 33 and have no children.

It all depends on the person

18-45.

I think the best age is around 25, when you graduate, get a well paid job and settle down.

Reply 14

bacteria_girl

I was 19 when I fell pregnant, wasn't planned but I wouldn't change it. I don't think you can ever be 'ready' for the biggest upheaval in your life. I have many friends of many ages and many social situations with children who all found their own difficulties with raising a child.
I am probably in the minority in that I've never stopped working, I am continuing my education with two small children and me and my partner both work hard to raise them with minimal financial help.
My aunt, however, waiting until she was 41: married, house owner, very good job/car/income etc, but struggles with things like lack of sleep, energy to run around as well as juggling a job many people are vying for!

Reply 15

Maid Marian

20

I don't believe there are 'appropriate ages' once you're 18+, only ideal ages which would most likely be when you've settled down with a job and a husband.

My mum had me at 40, I wouldn't want to be that old.

Original post by the bear

Human reproductive physiology has not changed since the days when we lived in caves and ate mammoths for supper. At that time the average lifespan was about 30, so reproduction began as soon as the young cavewoman reached menarche. By the time she was reached her 20s she would be worn out from serial childbearing and would not expect to live to see her grandchildren. Quite possibly she would be eaten by the other cave folk.
Anyhoo, my point is that our gamete production is optimised for reproduction before the age of 20. After that the cells inexorably decline. All of the female egg cells are formed in utero. Would you leave a box of eggs for 40 years at the back of the fridge ?

That's so grim. Having a baby at 11 just seems so wrong....

Reply 16

RF_PineMarten

18

Original post by Maid Marian

I don't believe there are 'appropriate ages' once you're 18+, only ideal ages which would most likely be when you've settled down with a job and a husband.

Of course, but you can have an educated guess as to what age that would be. For a lot of people, married and settled down with a decent job would mean mid-late 20s at the earliest.

I'll graduate aged 22, and I probably won't graduate straight into a well paid stable job.