I wish I was a smart Asian...

I dont tell people things, apart from on here apparently. When i lost my auntie i told a few friends but soon after that 2 other relatives died and i felt silly bringing these things up. I hid mental health problems (not always successfully but i dont think people know the full extent), ended up hiding scarred arms. But my friends still asked me for advice on everything as if i must always have the answer, and looked up to me, from grades to how i do my eye makeup. They say im lucky because my future will be better than theirs, that i'll get a good job. And i dont want to argue with that because sometimes you need someone to admire and im not sure how to go about shattering that image.

why Chinese?
I know a lot of butthead Chinese people

@Proxenus/@The_Blade


I might not seem like it lol but you know Will from the Inbetweeners? I'm a pair of specs and virginity away from being him as far as taking my education and academic career seriously. And I'm desi/Indian, not Chinese

whats up?

gonna go cook then blaze up wet grass with the bae, what else lol
i tagged you because i shaded you for being a dumb chinese lol i say it with love

I ain't dumb fam

I'm smart too

Then why are you posing in that ridiculous hat?

my hat is great. you can't afford half of it.

I can't afford a hat with weed symbols on it?

Give me a break.

it's the brand not the design you can't afford you ****ing cricket.
now stop quoting me

Yeah, I'd rather not get into a conversation with pathetic NEET drug addicts.

why not just wish you were smart, though? it's like saying "I wish I was a really fast-running african" - why not just "fast-running"?

Because I'd much rather be Asian as well....

what are your reasons? what race are you?

... Let's just say I'm the least respected race

Edit: Plus I love Chinese culture

... Let's just say I'm the least respected race

Edit: Plus I love Chinese culture

Thats how i try to look at it. But good grades dont mean anything after a while. When people are doing 6 a-levels and get all A*s i feel how you feel. Like i just want to be better. I felt completely isolated throughout sixth form. I worked right through lunchtime. All the time literally. I forgot to eat. The joints in my right hand were so swollen from writing too much. I developed depression which has somehow managed to destroy every aspect of my life so even though i have the grades to go far, the feeling that im never good enough means i have no motivation to actually use my skills. Anyway im getting past it, and the fact that im moving out means my parents are actually appreciating me as a person rather than someone to boast about to their friends (attention terrifies me so this was no fun).
Phew sorry, didnt mean to sob like that. Just been a bum couple years. It happens.

Also i realise this doesnt have much to do with being asian.

I could guess... But it'll get me into trouble.