I met what I still consider to be the closest to a 10/10 I have ever met. When we met we were college friends and I was too shy, had no experience in dating or flirting etc. We became good friends for the college year and I became obsessed tbh.
Anyway over the year I worked on myself and improved my life ten fold. We hung out a few times, I tried to escape the friendzone I had put myself in a few times but I was always swerved. I improved my confidence so much that I pursued other girls, but its hard being ugly lol and they didn't go anywhere, but I still had a go and left without developing feelings.
But my thoughts always came back to this one girl. I found out shes leaving town for Uni so I decided that I would play my final card and I would move on. I asked her out for dinner. Swerved again. This time though I told her that I was essentially walking out her life. I told her that I will always care, and if she ever needs anything I will always have time for her but she knew that I was basically saying I wasn't going to make the effort any longer.
When she eventually replied she too wished me all the best and promised that she will see me again.
I was so sad I might have cried a little when I was writing the message to her. I was saying goodbye to someone I cared for, even if she didn't return the same level of feelings i had.
So i have begun my new chapter of my life. I will tone down the feelings I have. But ultimately, I will never truly forget them.
Perhaps she will arrange to see me again. Hopefully i will have had enough time to tone my feelings down. I think if we do meet I will just go with the flow and try not get caught up with my feelings.
Some days are just damn hard.