The Student Room Group

Ended a situationship but feel sad about it

Hey there, i recently "ended" a situationship with a guy. He is really kind, sweet and humble. He also treats me really well. However, when i was "with" him, i did not feel excited and I felt like I could not accept some things about him. I am not sure why but I do feel sad about losing him, perhaps the memory is still pretty fresh. Has anyone experienced anything similar; could you share your experience regarding this aspect? Thanks!
Reply 1
If you watch 'First Dates' it shows the post meal discussion of coffee or cab. There is everything to consider but if there is 'no spark' between a couple then there is no coffee and no future relationship - unless of course it is as platonic friends (unless being 'platonic' is really a one sided unrequited love?)

Mutual attraction can be very fickle - The union of 2 people sharing pheromones, love chemicals and brain chemistry is helpful to allow good genetics to increase the likelihood of healthy offspring. Nature is brutal in the animal world and we are part of it. The selection process and compatibility ensures the best possible match of genetic material by being 'in love' The 'spark' is chemical and is adrenaline inducing excitement.

How to fall 'out of love' - You see another side of your partner that does not meet your ideals, or they do something that goes against your inbuilt core values, or you operate on differing mindsets and find each other tiresome, dishonest or untrustworthy. Or you ask yourself - "Do I really want to wake up next to this person for the rest of my life?" Sometimes it is something extremely negatively minor but it detracts from the package as a whole. Usually you know within about 10 mins if you want to see more of each other and another 10 weeks of dropping facades and politeness usually allows you to see a more complete picture.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey there, i recently "ended" a situationship with a guy. He is really kind, sweet and humble. He also treats me really well. However, when i was "with" him, i did not feel excited and I felt like I could not accept some things about him. I am not sure why but I do feel sad about losing him, perhaps the memory is still pretty fresh. Has anyone experienced anything similar; could you share your experience regarding this aspect? Thanks!


Probably because, regardless of the things that separated you off, you became attached to him and you liked him?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Hey there, i recently "ended" a situationship with a guy. He is really kind, sweet and humble. He also treats me really well. However, when i was "with" him, i did not feel excited and I felt like I could not accept some things about him. I am not sure why but I do feel sad about losing him, perhaps the memory is still pretty fresh. Has anyone experienced anything similar; could you share your experience regarding this aspect? Thanks!



You might miss having someone to talk to rather than his actual self if you weren't actually excited when with him. Give it time, fill your day with other things and I'm sure you'll feel better!

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