I just can't win.
Let's say I absolutely smash this year. 90% in second year uni or something awesome like that. Will it give me a realistic chance of forging a good career? No. Will it bring me any closer to forging meaningful relationships, romantic or otherwise? Nah. How long will it make me happy for? Well, maybe a day.
Let's say I do okay. Then I am not special, and just for that I feel terrible. And I still have all those problems, and amplified.
Let's say I do badly. I have no reason to live, with no skills beyond my academics.
So obviously smashing it is the best case scenario, but when your best case scenario is still so dreary, why are you trying for anything? I guess it's just natural. Any living creature would do the same, go for the best it could get. But I might as well drop dead now for all the good doing well this year will do me in the long run.