The Student Room Group

i think i want a relationship! :/

I crave a relationship. I have never been in one, or dated at all, but i find myself always watching those gym crush stories (lol sorry) and other romantic related content, and it makes me feel sad that i don't have any of it.
But, i am also quite against dating apps, as i really want to meet my future partner in person. I want it to be authentic, and not through an app where it's simply based off mainly how you look sadly, and ofc your profile- no thanks.

I have always been super shy and reserved, and i think part of me is still afraid of intimacy/letting anyone close to me, and dating. I have always found the concept of dating a stranger so odd, but come to think of it, that's how you get to know them so i am probably being silly ;/ But in my head, i always hoped that i'd meet someone nice, and we'd get to know one another in a NON dating setting before starting to date...id it always sounded better.

I don't think i like the idea of immediately dating as i feel pressured that the person is already looking at you in a romantic way and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Maybe this is why i am so single ha.

I am starting to think that maybe i do not understand the dating/relationship world at all...please educate me!!
Original post by Anonymous #1
I crave a relationship. I have never been in one, or dated at all, but i find myself always watching those gym crush stories (lol sorry) and other romantic related content, and it makes me feel sad that i don't have any of it.
But, i am also quite against dating apps, as i really want to meet my future partner in person. I want it to be authentic, and not through an app where it's simply based off mainly how you look sadly, and ofc your profile- no thanks.

I have always been super shy and reserved, and i think part of me is still afraid of intimacy/letting anyone close to me, and dating. I have always found the concept of dating a stranger so odd, but come to think of it, that's how you get to know them so i am probably being silly ;/ But in my head, i always hoped that i'd meet someone nice, and we'd get to know one another in a NON dating setting before starting to date...id it always sounded better.

I don't think i like the idea of immediately dating as i feel pressured that the person is already looking at you in a romantic way and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Maybe this is why i am so single ha.

I am starting to think that maybe i do not understand the dating/relationship world at all...please educate me!!

Nothing to educate harsh reality is right place, right person, right time.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I crave a relationship. I have never been in one, or dated at all, but i find myself always watching those gym crush stories (lol sorry) and other romantic related content, and it makes me feel sad that i don't have any of it.
But, i am also quite against dating apps, as i really want to meet my future partner in person. I want it to be authentic, and not through an app where it's simply based off mainly how you look sadly, and ofc your profile- no thanks.

I have always been super shy and reserved, and i think part of me is still afraid of intimacy/letting anyone close to me, and dating. I have always found the concept of dating a stranger so odd, but come to think of it, that's how you get to know them so i am probably being silly ;/ But in my head, i always hoped that i'd meet someone nice, and we'd get to know one another in a NON dating setting before starting to date...id it always sounded better.

I don't think i like the idea of immediately dating as i feel pressured that the person is already looking at you in a romantic way and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Maybe this is why i am so single ha.

I am starting to think that maybe i do not understand the dating/relationship world at all...please educate me!!

hello what is ur name and how old are you
Reply 3
How old are you now? The thing is, when you really want something, it's kind of like going grocery shopping when you're starving. You just grab anything and everything you see. My advice would be to keep an eye out for any red flags, especially since you've never been in a relationship before. You really want to be careful about who you choose..
Reply 4
good luck on it
Reply 5
It's a nice thing but you need to take your time.
Reply 6
Original post by denizirman
How old are you now? The thing is, when you really want something, it's kind of like going grocery shopping when you're starving. You just grab anything and everything you see. My advice would be to keep an eye out for any red flags, especially since you've never been in a relationship before and I guess you're not past life lovers. You really want to be careful about who you choose..

So true...never go grocery shopping when you're hungry..never enter a relationship when you feel lonely..
(edited 4 months ago)
Reply 7
Original post by denizirman
How old are you now? The thing is, when you really want something, it's kind of like going grocery shopping when you're starving. You just grab anything and everything you see. My advice would be to keep an eye out for any red flags, especially since you've never been in a relationship before. You really want to be careful about who you choose..

I am 20. I don't think I am naïve- actually the opposite. I think I am slow to open up to anyone, plus I have a fear of intimacy so I don't need to worry about 'letting the wrong person in' XD
Will keep an eye out for red-flags nonetheless, cheers for some advice
Reply 8
Original post by ero_
good luck on it

Thanks 😅
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous #1
Thanks 😅

np
It's a numbers game, you have to be meeting enough people to have a chance of meeting the right person. If someone hardly ever goes out and only really talks to their small group of friends then the chance of them meeting the right person is really small. So the trick is to meet and get to know as many people as possible.
Original post by sarahokec
So true...never go grocery shopping when you're hungry..never enter a relationship when you feel lonely..

true so true x
As others have said, I agree with the right place right time sentiment. Dating is not something that can be forced.

Maybe my story will inspire you a little....

My current partner of almost five years, she was actually my best friend for a few years before that, known each other overall right now about a decade. And I'm now 27 (she's 29 in a few month). We were just normal friends before, got close, asked her out, she said yes and it's been plain sailing since then.

But like you though, I can't stand the idea of things like Tinder or Grinder or whatever the dating apps are called these days (never needed to use one so wouldn't know). I probably couldn't also meet someone at a bar and take her home. Prefer to know someone for a while then make the decision. Guess you could call it best-friends-turned-lovers.

Also a few advantages of being single in the meantime... try and put these into perspective and think of the bigger picture, it may make you feel better.

1.

Not being cheated on (the psychological impact can crush a person's self esteem)

2.

Not being in a coercive relationship (similar to the above)

3.

No STDs (a couple are chronic/life long)

4.

No pressure to alter your plans to suit another person

5.

Not having a financial burden put on you (in the scenario of them moving into your place)

Hope this helps 🙂
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
I crave a relationship. I have never been in one, or dated at all, but i find myself always watching those gym crush stories (lol sorry) and other romantic related content, and it makes me feel sad that i don't have any of it.
But, i am also quite against dating apps, as i really want to meet my future partner in person. I want it to be authentic, and not through an app where it's simply based off mainly how you look sadly, and ofc your profile- no thanks.

I have always been super shy and reserved, and i think part of me is still afraid of intimacy/letting anyone close to me, and dating. I have always found the concept of dating a stranger so odd, but come to think of it, that's how you get to know them so i am probably being silly ;/ But in my head, i always hoped that i'd meet someone nice, and we'd get to know one another in a NON dating setting before starting to date...id it always sounded better.

I don't think i like the idea of immediately dating as i feel pressured that the person is already looking at you in a romantic way and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Maybe this is why i am so single ha.

I am starting to think that maybe i do not understand the dating/relationship world at all...please educate me!!

I think in my experience there is no rush. I have had some BAD relationships, but that was because they were bad people, i believe that when you find the one, it will never be a bad time yk? The issue is lots of people rush into relationships because they feel jealous (this isnt me accusing you just saying lol) i just think if people take a chance to get to know eachother, ask them on a date first, make the first move, if it works it works, if it doesnt it doesnt yk?

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