What do I do

hey there, by what ive read, even though you don't know what you want it seems like you are falling for him. and if that is the case i would text him to let him know how you feel and that regardless of what happens at the weekend you would like to talk and discuss things with. hope this helps you.

I think you need to give them space.

Go quiet. Let them come to you. They might be all talk and no trousers.

Ask yourself the following whilst you do not get in touch with them.

1. Do you want a relationship?
2. Do you want a relationship with this person?
3. How do you feel about them?
4. Are you ready to tell them about 3?
5. How will you feel if they don't disclose details about their gender? How will you react?
6. How will you feel if they either didn't go on the bender or didn't get with anyone? How will you react?
7. How will you feel if they did get with 1+ other people on the bender? How will you react?
Now go back and ask yourself 1, 2 and 3 in the context of 5, 6 and 7.
Then, when they eventually make contact, you will be ready to handle all of the above.

But we also need to consider.

8. They don't make contact again.

You could apologise for how you handled having a panic and for any hurt feelings caused. And to be honest there is no way of knowing if this would fix 8 or not. But. Definitely give them space whilst you work through 1-7 because then nothing will surprise you and you will be ready to handle every eventuality.

9. Are you prepared to forgive and move on? Or are there dealbreakers? You were not clear with setting boundaries so bear that in mind.

Good luck - relationships are hard. Let us know how you get on.

They’ve now gone away. So I think all I can do is sit and wait to see if they make contact again after the weekend.

I did end up messaging/apologising but they didn’t try to continue conversation or want to figure it out. So I think there is a high chance it might be over.

Right so I’ve got myself in a situation. I’ve been seeing someone new for the last month. However I’ve had a bit of a panic as it’s getting serious about what exactly I want and if I want a relationship right now. Nothing to do with the person, my head is just a bit of a mess at the minute. I told them that at the weekend and now it’s all up in the air and we aren’t speaking. We are also both busy all week so we can’t meet up to discuss. And the person I’m seeing is away this weekend (essentially on a bender).

I said whilst it’s all up in the air, they are in theory single at the weekend and I wouldn’t be upset if they did anything, as I created the situation. However thinking on it now, I 100% will be and if they sleep with anyone else I would be destroyed. But I can’t go back and say that. They’ve also basically said they are going with the intention of that now as well, because if I’m not clear on what I want, then why shouldn’t they.

I know I’ve made the situation which is why it’s ten times worse. But I don’t know if anyone has any advice or what I should do. Or basically just let it all go ahead and it fall apart essentially. I also feel upset at their reaction to what they will get up to when they are away, but equally I created the situation. It’s just a bit of a mess.

I agree. Sit tight and wait. Paint your nails. Read. Watch a show. Go for a ride. Bake. Anything, but do not make contact again. Give them space. The more space you give the better now.

Keep us updated 💖

You male or female?

Female…may be obvious with the overthinking 😅

Sounds like he used you

I wouldn’t say so…as we didn’t do anything or take it to the next level (if you know what I mean). If anything you could say it was more me using him.

I agree. Sit tight and wait. Paint your nails. Read. Watch a show. Go for a ride. Bake. Anything, but do not make contact again. Give them space. The more space you give the better now.

Keep us updated 💖

So I heard nothing and bit the bullet to message them tonight. They told me they slept with multiple people this weekend…and it’s a lot for them to process (not entirely sure how).

But I think that’s a pretty clear indication that they aren’t that interested and I feel massively disrespected by them doing that. Even though they’ve tried to justify that they are single etc.

he's trying to make u jealous, you basically rejected him and now he's trying to show you that he doesn't need you
if he loves you, then he'll come back