Housemate keeps changing his routine to match mine arghhhh
So I moved into a shared house. Initially (the first week) I thought great the bathroom is free at 8.15am for morning stuff. The kitchen is free on a night at 8.30pm for making dinner. It will be like having my own place.
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by UniBrah
So I moved into a shared house. Initially (the first week) I thought great the bathroom is free at 8.15am for morning stuff. The kitchen is free on a night at 8.30pm for making dinner. It will be like having my own place.
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
Why don’t u talk to him and say you don’t want to hold him up when you get ready, (pretend it’s you looking out for him) and could you agree who goes first and what times so it’s easy for both of you? It’s really strange. Maybe he wants to talk?
Just kiss him to break this tension already.
Have a discussion with flatmates and suggest you have some sort of rough rota to prevent clashes?
Original post by princetonalec
Just kiss him to break this tension already.
Guaranteed to solve the problem
Spoiler
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Guaranteed to solve the problem
Spoiler
How could a kiss between two strangers who have never been close before this ever cause any problems?
/s
Good idea on the rota! Although there is only 3 of us in the house! Loads of time for us each to use the bathroom / kitchen (btw it’s a small kitchen).
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point. Good point though, he does have a needy vibe.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks lol
Thanks for the suggestions, any more ideas / similar experiences welcome.
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point. Good point though, he does have a needy vibe.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks lol
Thanks for the suggestions, any more ideas / similar experiences welcome.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by UniBrah
Good idea on the rota! Although there is only 3 of us in the house! Loads of time for us each to use the bathroom / kitchen (btw it’s a small kitchen).
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks
It’s really really strange! I think maybe he’s lonely. Maybe you could Hang around, see if he wants to talk and then be so boring/or chew is ear off non stop he won’t ask again lol. It’s super awkward and especially if you don’t really see yourself getting on with them
Original post by UniBrah
Good idea on the rota! Although there is only 3 of us in the house! Loads of time for us each to use the bathroom / kitchen (btw it’s a small kitchen).
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks
Don't knock the kissing solution until you've tried it.
Original post by UniBrah
Good idea on the rota! Although there is only 3 of us in the house! Loads of time for us each to use the bathroom / kitchen (btw it’s a small kitchen).
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point. Good point though, he does have a needy vibe.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks lol
Thanks for the suggestions, any more ideas / similar experiences welcome.
Maybe he wants to talk with me. Hm yes could be it, but I’m so tired from work when I get home I just don’t have the energy. Thinking about just saying hi and not engaging in conversation, maybe then he will get the point. Good point though, he does have a needy vibe.
I don’t not like the guy, just he seems to be always there a couple of days after I change my routine to fit the logistics of the house. Kind of strange.
Kissing? Nah I’m good thanks lol
Thanks for the suggestions, any more ideas / similar experiences welcome.
Just have a discussion and mention you've been struggling to get to work on time or something and so think having a rough rota would be useful
Original post by Hmannily
It’s really really strange! I think maybe he’s lonely. Maybe you could Hang around, see if he wants to talk and then be so boring/or chew is ear off non stop he won’t ask again lol. It’s super awkward and especially if you don’t really see yourself getting on with them
Glad someone else thinks so! It’s starting to get awkward now, hence my OP. My friend said it sound like he’s trying to emulate me by doing what I do at the time I would. Don’t know why, I’m really not that interesting! Maybe he doesn’t even realise and it’s all subconscious??
Damn, I can’t wait to get my own place, or at least live with ‘normal’ people lol
Original post by princetonalec
Don't knock the kissing solution until you've tried it.
Hah I’ll keep it as a last resort then
Original post by AzureCeleste
Just have a discussion and mention you've been struggling to get to work on time or something and so think having a rough rota would be useful
Thanks
Original post by UniBrah
Glad someone else thinks so! It’s starting to get awkward now, hence my OP. My friend said it sound like he’s trying to emulate me by doing what I do at the time I would. Don’t know why, I’m really not that interesting! Maybe he doesn’t even realise and it’s all subconscious??
Damn, I can’t wait to get my own place, or at least live with ‘normal’ people lol
Damn, I can’t wait to get my own place, or at least live with ‘normal’ people lol
Could he possibly have some kind of social anxiety, or possibly something linked to his behaviour? Autism could be a possibility? I had an autistic friend and he always ‘acted off’ because people didn’t get him immediately - he felt awkward around people but still wanted to hang out and didn’t know how to... maybe gently confront head on with the rota in a super kind way and see from there!
Yep he definitely loooooves you 
Spoiler
Original post by Hmannily
Could he possibly have some kind of social anxiety, or possibly something linked to his behaviour? Autism could be a possibility? I had an autistic friend and he always ‘acted off’ because people didn’t get him immediately - he felt awkward around people but still wanted to hang out and didn’t know how to... maybe gently confront head on with the rota in a super kind way and see from there!
Could be any number of things tbh. My own opinion is that he probably just wants some attention. The way he goes about this is by influencing my routine. Maybe he’s trying to get a reaction? I’ve no idea.
Rota seems a good way to go. In fact we have a new 3rd housemate coming soon, will be the perfect opportunity to sort something out! Can’t really rota the kitchen though because it’s shared space. But least I can start using the bathroom before work again without the hassle of changing the time I get up / waiting for him to finish by which point I’m almost late for work!
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by UniBrah
So I moved into a shared house. Initially (the first week) I thought great the bathroom is free at 8.15am for morning stuff. The kitchen is free on a night at 8.30pm for making dinner. It will be like having my own place.
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
Strange thing, another guy in the house suddenly started switching his routine to using the bathroom and kitchen at those times.
So I adjusted my routine to get up earlier for the bathroom, then the guy changes to go earlier, so I try later, the guy goes in later. So I say fk it I’ll just use the bathroom at work. This is the strange thing, when I stopped using the bathroom on a morning he suddenly was never in there. Like, I now just walk past the empty bathroom on my way out to work. So fine I’ll just be brushing my teeth at work from now on, can’t do with the hassle.
Now, the kitchen, so since he changed his routine to be in the kitchen when I am, I decide to go in the kitchen after him and just wait for him to finish. Then, he starts using the kitchen later and later (and for longer). Almost like he’s waiting for me or something. So I’m eating dinner at like 11pm. So I say, fk it I’ll go in before him. You guessed it he now goes into the kitchen earlier. I can’t escspe this fking guy and I need space.
It’s happened too many times to be random. It seems he wants to be in the kitchen when I’m there, the bathroom too probably if he could.
Is it me??? Am I being paranoid? Maybe he has no set routine?? But every time I change my routine he is just, welll, there!
Any ideas what to do here?
It could be that he uses you to help monitor his own schedule (e.g. "Oh he's in the bathroom now, that means I should be up and go in there next"), although trying to do everything at the exact same time as you is a bit bizarre.
Him wanting to cook at the same time is probably down to loneliness, and wanting to be in there at the same time as someone. He might be dependent on others to let him know what he should be doing, and has latched onto you.
If you can get a schedule going with everyone involved, that would be the best outcome. If not, you might have to have a private word with him.
Honestly I do find that quite creepy. He might be quite lonely, want to talk to you I guess? But obviously if you don't feel comfortable you don't have to be friends with him, maybe a bathroom/kitchen rota etc or talk to him saying that it's disrupting your timetable and his so it'll be easier to define a time
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