Housemate stealing our food

I don't know what planet some people I live with come from!!!!!

I currently have a housemate who thinks it's OK to eat/drink our food as long as he replaces it. He admitted to eating my housemate's tomatoes weeks ago when my housemate noticed a new pack of a different brand he'd replaced them with.

Saturday night he knocks on my door to ask, "Was that your cider on top of the fridge?" I say yes, he casually says he's drank it and will replace it tomorrow morning. He said it as casually as asking me how my day has been, thinking absolutely nothing of it.

Well, he replaced the two ciders only to drink one of them and casually pop a message to me saying, "Hi I'll replace the cider tomorrow."

I really wanna give him a piece of my mind at this point but just can't be arsed for drama...

Reply 1

ALEreapp

21

I actually don’t think it’s too much of an issue as long as he’s replacing it… a lot of people just steal food and never even consider replacing it.

If he actually asked you would you feel differently? Or would you just say no even though you know for a fact he will replace it as he has done every other time.

Yeah he shouldn’t be taking stuff without asking but he’s replacing it consistently and openly telling you, you not communicating with him isn’t very helpful because as far as he’s concerned you haven’t made an issue out of it. Its tomatoes and cider he’s hardly causing you to starve. No point having a go at him when you’ve not set that boundary in the first place, if you say ‘hey if you wouldn’t mind asking first before taking my stuff I would be a lot more comfortable with that’ then he carries on them you have a right to be angry towards him but if you just go off you are TA

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ALEreapp

I actually don’t think it’s too much of an issue as long as he’s replacing it… a lot of people just steal food and never even consider replacing it.

If he actually asked you would you feel differently? Or would you just say no even though you know for a fact he will replace it as he has done every other time.

Yeah he shouldn’t be taking stuff without asking but he’s replacing it consistently and openly telling you, you not communicating with him isn’t very helpful because as far as he’s concerned you haven’t made an issue out of it. Its tomatoes and cider he’s hardly causing you to starve. No point having a go at him when you’ve not set that boundary in the first place, if you say ‘hey if you wouldn’t mind asking first before taking my stuff I would be a lot more comfortable with that’ then he carries on them you have a right to be angry towards him but if you just go off you are TA

So if I had made a thread on here asking, "Is it OK for me to take my housemate's food as long as I replace it?" you'd have replied that it should be fine?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ALEreapp

I actually don’t think it’s too much of an issue as long as he’s replacing it… a lot of people just steal food and never even consider replacing it.

If he actually asked you would you feel differently? Or would you just say no even though you know for a fact he will replace it as he has done every other time.

Yeah he shouldn’t be taking stuff without asking but he’s replacing it consistently and openly telling you, you not communicating with him isn’t very helpful because as far as he’s concerned you haven’t made an issue out of it. Its tomatoes and cider he’s hardly causing you to starve. No point having a go at him when you’ve not set that boundary in the first place, if you say ‘hey if you wouldn’t mind asking first before taking my stuff I would be a lot more comfortable with that’ then he carries on them you have a right to be angry towards him but if you just go off you are TA

And yes, I would feel differently if he asked since that shows more respect and consideration. By eating the food and then messaging/telling me he removes any agency I have over my own stuff. What if I had wanted that cider tonight and not tomorrow when he's gonna replace it? And there's been times he's eaten stuff then replaced without saying a word. My other housemate had no idea about the tomatoes and had to actively ask.

Reply 4

nutz99

19

Original post by Anonymous

And yes, I would feel differently if he asked since that shows more respect and consideration. By eating the food and then messaging/telling me he removes any agency I have over my own stuff. What if I had wanted that cider tonight and not tomorrow when he's gonna replace it? And there's been times he's eaten stuff then replaced without saying a word. My other housemate had no idea about the tomatoes and had to actively ask.

If I were you I would have a chat with him and point out that you don't like him taking your stuff without asking first. Mention, like you pointed out, that it may have been something that you were going to eat/drink that day so it would not then be convenient for him to take it. He really needs to ask first.

Reply 5

ALEreapp

21

Original post by Anonymous

So if I had made a thread on here asking, "Is it OK for me to take my housemate's food as long as I replace it?" you'd have replied that it should be fine?

I would tell you to ask out of respect, but communication is key hence why I’ve also said you’ve not communicated you are uncomfortable with him replacing what he takes without asking first. A flatmate of mine when I briefly moved out used some of my bread without asking, the only reason I ever found out was because she bought me a new one ‘to replace some of the slices’. I personally didn’t think it was deep, she needed bread, I had some and then she replaced it without fuss 🙃

Reply 6

ALEreapp

21

Original post by Anonymous

And yes, I would feel differently if he asked since that shows more respect and consideration. By eating the food and then messaging/telling me he removes any agency I have over my own stuff. What if I had wanted that cider tonight and not tomorrow when he's gonna replace it? And there's been times he's eaten stuff then replaced without saying a word. My other housemate had no idea about the tomatoes and had to actively ask.

And again hence why you should speak to him, I mean tbh if they had no idea about the tomatoes it shows how it was absolutely no inconvenience to them at all. I just think life’s too short to be getting your panties in a bunch over a pack of tomatoes etc that was replaced obviously very quickly if you never noticed they were gone originally

(edited 12 months ago)

Reply 7

Char3313L

8

If this is regular behaviour then it's not ok at all. if he has money to keep replacing it, then he really should be buying his own stuff. I'll be okay with it if it occurs once every 4 months but no less than that. Having a cider is a treat, so did he really need to touch yours and it probably wasnt even something he wanted until be saw it just sitting there. Butter, milk or sugar I would understand and maybe tomatoes if he needed it for a recipe, but not because it was there. Is it okay for him to take whatever he wants as long as he replaces it? Is it okay to for him to keep touching your stuff? Why can't he do his own shopping? If it bothers you enough to come here and make a thread about it, tell him to stop touching your stuff.

Some people dont understand that when someone use your belongings and replaces it, it isn't the same as the ones you personally chosed and it's insanely irritating after the second time.

Housemate stealing our food

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