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Got a massive crush on a married man, and now he's moving away. Watch

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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    op seems to be dealing with it better than i am, i just want to throw myself off a bridge every time im reminded of the fact that the man i love is happy with someone else. But then i do have depression so i dont cope well with these thing.
    I saw Esio Trot the other day and theres a quote in it that stuck in my head even though its a children's story.
    "You dont stop loving someone just because they dont love you".
    OP is dealing with it very well, I must say.
    Dearie, to quote Frozen, you need to "let it go."
    (I saw Esio Trot too. That quote is powerful.)
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    (Original post by CescaD96)
    OP is dealing with it very well, I must say.
    Dearie, to quote Frozen, you need to "let it go."
    (I saw Esio Trot too. That quote is powerful.)
    Hardly seems like she had a massive crush after all.
    It was more meaningful to me than anything disney could have offered. Such a lovely story too, though i thought they stretched it a bit.
    I might perhaps be able to "let it go" if i truly thought he was happy, but his marriage is to all appearances a shotgun wedding.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    Hardly seems like she had a massive crush after all.
    It was more meaningful to me than anything disney could have offered. Such a lovely story too, though i thought they stretched it a bit.
    I might perhaps be able to "let it go" if i truly thought he was happy, but his marriage is to all appearances a shotgun wedding.
    If youre that unhappy thinking he'll be sad do something about it like write him an open letter on thought calalog or a newspaper telling him how he is making a mistake. If you're so sure you're right.
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    nothing wrong having affairs; it can help all parties if done discreetly. Just don't be greedy and enjoy what you can.
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    (Original post by acefrogman)
    nothing wrong having affairs; it can help all parties if done discreetly. Just don't be greedy and enjoy what you can.
    no.
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    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    If youre that unhappy thinking he'll be sad do something about it like write him an open letter on thought calalog or a newspaper telling him how he is making a mistake. If you're so sure you're right.
    No, what would that achieve?
    He'll just have to realise it himself in time.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    No, what would that achieve?
    He'll just have to realise it himself in time.
    It could stop him getting married and thus being in a much harder position to back out of the relationship. This is if you're right of course about it being a sham marriage.
    But if you think there is literally nothing you can do about it, why don't you stop researching them? Is your plan to sit here for the next five years and wait for the next major development in their relationship?.
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    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    It could stop him getting married and thus being in a much harder position to back out of the relationship. This is if you're right of course about it being a sham marriage.
    But if you think there is literally nothing you can do about it, why don't you stop researching them? Is your plan to sit here for the next five years and wait for the next major development in their relationship?.
    You think he will end the engagement simply if I ask him to?
    Are you trying to take the piss out of me as well now?
    I guess theres nothing to do but wait. Its not unreasonable to say that they'll probably divorce in a few years, given how quickly things have developed and the fact that half of marriages end in divorce anyway.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    You think he will end the engagement simply if I ask him to?
    Are you trying to take the piss out of me as well now?
    I guess theres nothing to do but wait. Its not unreasonable to say that they'll probably divorce in a few years, given how quickly things have developed and the fact that half of marriages end in divorce anyway.
    No I'm not. I'm just saying that if it was me I'd either do what I could to remedy the situation or write it off as something I couldn't control and thus take steps to think about it less.

    With the waiting thing that's fine as long as it's a background thing and you do other more active things at the same time. What I'm worried about is if you sit around and wait for developments and that's pretty much all you do. Because even for someone who wasn't already depressed that would be a depressing spiral.
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    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    No I'm not. I'm just saying that if it was me I'd either do what I could to remedy the situation or write it off as something I couldn't control and thus take steps to think about it less.

    With the waiting thing that's fine as long as it's a background thing and you do other more active things at the same time. What I'm worried about is if you sit around and wait for developments and that's pretty much all you do. Because even for someone who wasn't already depressed that would be a depressing spiral.
    So if it was you, youd write to him? What would you even put in a letter like that? Please dont marry her, im the love of your life? :eek: even I think thats ridiculous.
    Im sure he'll want to do the honorable thing and marry her. When the kid is old enough to understand and the little love that there was has died out, they'll divorce.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    So if it was you, youd write to him? What would you even put in a letter like that? Please dont marry her, im the love of your life? :eek: even I think thats ridiculous.
    Im sure he'll want to do the honorable thing and marry her. When the kid is old enough to understand and the little love that there was has died out, they'll divorce.
    No just that he shouldn't feel he has to marry her. Personally I'd go for the second option i listed- putting this down as something you have no control over and taking steps to dwell on it less. What do you think of my second paragraph?
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    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    No just that he shouldn't feel he has to marry her. Personally I'd go for the second option i listed- putting this down as something you have no control over and taking steps to dwell on it less. What do you think of my second paragraph?
    I dont want him to see me as an obsessed fan, even if thats what I would be in his eyes.
    Theres nothing for me to do. i already am taking steps to wean myself off him as it were. Im boycotting Hamlet and the next Sherlock. He wants a big mansion in LA, fine, but not on my money.
    Anyway I feel like im hogging this thread.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Don't go breakin a happy home
    There is no such thing. If a happily married man destroys his marriage by cheating, he wasn't a happily married man in the first place.

    Women overestimate their power.
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    Mods, would you mind deleting this thread?
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    (Original post by Octohedral)
    Mods, would you mind deleting this thread?
    for what reason?
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    Aha homewrecker this is selfish mindset and awful behaviour
 
 
 
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