The Student Room Group

scared i wont like someone else as much

in a nutshell-- i really liked my guy bestie in sixth form. i liked him for over a year but a lot has changed since then. i noticed a lot of stuff about him. I definitely do not like him anymore.
first of all his character has changed-- he has fallen into the wrong crowd, these boys that do drugs and drink every friday and saturday night and get smashed out drunk out of their minds. he barely revises for his exams . he is also a massive ******** to me now.
in year 12 he was fine, we shared free periods together, he brought along this new girl and she joined our free periods. all 3 of us were part of the same group and everything was absolutely perfect, all of us friends. then 1 of those boys from the bad group he joined began telling him to come to events. my guy bestie is quite misled and insecure guy im ngl and always had a bit of an obsession with gambling and drinking and he got caught into that mess.
year 13 rolls around, i begin to stay back and go library for free periods to revise for exams. the girl and him go off to shops and walk around somewhere else coz they dont want to sit there are revise. i noticed that he and this other girl got close and he began favourtising her over me. he never fancied her and there is no romantic attraction whatsoever. they began sharing little 'chats' together and wouldnt include me, and then sit somewhere else. what i realised as well is that that girl was quite toxic herself and was starting to break us up as friends. she would dominate all conversations, make it about her all the time, my guy bestie is a 'yes' man anyway so went along with it. i got sick of it and tried to butt-in but she always interrupts and is just downright ******* rude and annoying.
anyways-- i continued to like like him for ages and even in this point. the last time i actually spoke and hang out with him meaningfully was November 26 and Januray 6. those were the last days.
Now, we don't talk to one another anymore, he has run off with those new boy group who are such bad influences. And he is still friends with that girl and they have little gossip 'talks.'
Honestly he is the cross breed between a pick me boy and those annoying ********s who try and act all cool and edgy but they fail miserably.
I do not like him anymore and am pretty glad he is out of my life.

OK SO-- what i am scared of is that i won't like or love someone to the same extent i will him. i really liked him, to the point i thought we were soul mates and would have kids together, get married etc. sounds silly now but i tried so hard to pursue it.

I am scared i will never like/love someone to that extent ever again and yeah ://////
Reply 1
Damn then I think you haven’t met me yet? 😏
Reply 2
Hey, I had a similar thing happen with a friend of mine (although I didn't like her in that way, only as friends.) I mean the other girl coming in and ruining everything and being toxic and then my friend went off with a worse group of friends... It takes some time to get over it and move on, so allow yourself to be upset. It sucks, but it also means they weren't right for you and it's a lesson (I've personally learned a lot and I see that now). I used to think she was my best friend and we were platonic soulmates, but now I see "times change, people change", which is a quote I heard recently which sums it up I think. I have found that my best friend in the whole world (person B, we'll call her) was there the whole time, I just didn't realise it. She is my best friend and she's a far better friend than "A" ever was.
In terms of liking someone romantically, I've also felt that way about other people, and looked back later and wondered what I was thinking! We tend to romanticise people and create a perfect version of them in our heads (I feel we may do this with friends too but especially crushes). When we realise that they aren't this perfect person, things can change. You may have liked the idea of him, or liked that version of him, but there are other people at other points in your life you will be better for you.
Your romantic version of my Person B will come along.
And year 13 is pretty young to be finding a soulmate or life partner anyway - there's time.

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