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Depression Society MkII

Tufts

Remember when you mentioned CBT to me? I later made an appointment with my doc and he's put me on the list. I really hope it can help me. Some days I don't even get out of bed :frown:

I don't even go out of the house for weeks. If people invite me to parties or for drinks my heart wants to go but my depression makes me feel lathagic about it and ask myself "what's the point? it's too much effort".

I hate feeling like this :frown:

I feel isolated.

I know.

We're all here for you. I just wish there was more we could do to help. :console:

Reply 8101

Tufts

17

jonathan122

I know.

We're all here for you. I just wish there was more we could do to help. :console:

Why do I feel this way? :frown:

I don't even understand it myself. It's hindering my studies.

Reply 8102

jonathan122

Tufts

Why do I feel this way? :frown:

I don't even understand it myself. It's hindering my studies.

Does the university know how you're feeling? They might be able to give you extra time to complete your studies.

Reply 8103

blackfish

7

I've completely gone off the rails :sigh:

I'm just not myself anymore. The worrying thing is that everyone thinks i'm ok. My care coordinator was so suprised to hear that I wasn't coping to well. I've recently had the "I don't care anymore" attitude. I've not been eating proper meals like usual. Been with my friends till 3AM and getting up for work at 7AM!

I'm getting more thoughts of self harm. I know it's not going to solve anything. But I know eventually i'm not going to be able to stop myself.

I've had a good day at work today. Now i'm back home, i've text some of my friends, none have replied. So i'm in the pub, having the first proper meal in about 2 weeks. I'm glad I came down to the pub because they are playing some good tunes tonight :biggrin:

Anyways, How are you all doing?? :hugs:

and

to whoever would like them!

Take Care,

BlackFish

Reply 8104

Tufts

17

jonathan122

Does the university know how you're feeling? They might be able to give you extra time to complete your studies.

You can't get an extension on exams :s-smilie:

Reply 8105

gooner1991

1

I finally allowed myself to get close to a guy after 2 years of feeling really insecure about my ex etc then he goes off with one of my closest friends :frown:

Reply 8106

jonathan122

Tufts

You can't get an extension on exams :s-smilie:

You can - they're legally obliged to make necessary readjustments to your course if you suffer from a disability (i.e. an illness which has lasted, or is likely to last, more than 1 year). That can include things like spreading your work over a longer period of time and giving you more time in exams.

Reply 8107

jonathan122

gooner1991

I finally allowed myself to get close to a guy after 2 years of feeling really insecure about my ex etc then he goes off with one of my closest friends :frown:

Reply 8108

Malsy

18

it's a lovely day and again i'm like a nasty hermit stuck in the house as per. nans going on holiday for two weeks and she's like my everything, but i'm really going to appreciate everything she does for me when i'm too depressed to get things for myself. mum's in birmingham which doesnt help too. and then there's a levels. meh i'll be banning myself from tsr later today because this weekend i have copious amounts of homework to do and i want to crack on with more revision. first exam is psychology on the 15th may so not far away and i'm **** at essay based subjects.
i wish things werent like this but clearly i'm meant to have no life. i feel like im wasting away and im right.
should be getting a phone call from the doc later this week and then there'll be referrals and ARGH just reminded me don't know how im going to get to and fro wherever ill be bloody going for this depression thing seeing as i dont have my nan. MEH. GRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG.
COULD really do with some advice =/

Reply 8109

Not Invented Yet

12

I haven't had a good day at all. I'm supposed to be doing practise papers for the English exam I'm taking this summer (all the other exams will be next year for me) but today I just couldn't do it, it was like my head was full of cotton wool and I had my first panic attack in ages. Then my mum got really mad because she thought I was just trying to get out of doing my work so I ended up screaming at her, which I never do. Then I felt so crap that I decided to sleep through it and hope that I would feel better when I woke up, so I took some sleeping pills. They took ages to start working and then when I did get to sleep I got woken up again to come downstairs for dinner so I'm now really groggy and urgh. I am not doing that again.

Reply 8110

Pocket Calculator

14

had my room hijacked by people i barely know. really pissing me off. so much for socialising :frown:

Reply 8111

death.drop

16

Pocket Calculator

had my room hijacked by people i barely know. really pissing me off. so much for socialising :frown:

house party or something?

I found out today that the guy i trusted from work is totally untrustworthy. he's told other people that I'm on anti depressants and been self harming as well as blaming me for everything he's done wrong, lying about all of our department behind our backs to basically stir **** up and suggested that they give me the sack for reasons that he made up so that he wouldn't have to do work.
it's lucky that we happened to have the three of us on today and it came up.

why is it that everyone I ever rely on to turns out to be a dick?

Reply 8112

diamonddust

15

To DeathDrop: this probably won't help but :hugs:

- that guy sounds like a total **** and he'll get found out somehow. Is there anyone you can complain to?

I haven't had the best day today.
I saw my new psychiatrist for the first time today and I don't like her very much. She didn't seem to listen to anything I said and said she wasn't sure if I am depressed because my symptoms have been going on so long and depression is symbolised by a change in mood and a change in weight etc.
and my mood has been low for a long time and my weight has been low for a long time. The thing is people keep telling me I've lost weight so it must be noticeable but she'd never seen me before so she didn't know and she didn't listen when I tried to mention it.
She wouldn't let me talk about my suicidal thoughts because I 'shouldn't dwell on them.' It's really hard not to when it's the only thing in my head. I'm trying really hard not to act on them but I don't know if I can stop myself. Deep down I can't stop thinking that I want to die and it's inevitable anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless. :frown:

I just want this to go away. I need this to go away.
She said she's going to talk to her superiors about whether I should go back on Fluoxetine. :shrug:

I can't concentrate on anything. People talk to me like I'm stupid because I keep giving them blank looks and thinking about other things. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm pushing everyone away and I just want everything to stop. I feel empty. And I hate it.

I can't do any revision and I'm destroying any chance of a future for myself.
The worst thing is I'm not sure I care.

I can't sleep at nights, I only had one meal today and I keep shaking when I'm alone because I can't bear feeling like this and I don't know how I'm supposed to cope. I have to be strong but it's been going on for too long and I just feel so weak. :frown:

I'm sorry. I don't expect anyone to read this, I just had to get it out.

Reply 8113

Bangers+Mash

1

diamonddust

I haven't had the best day today.
I saw my new psychiatrist for the first time today and I don't like her very much. She didn't seem to listen to anything I said and said she wasn't sure if I am depressed because my symptoms have been going on so long and depression is symbolised by a change in mood and a change in weight etc.
and my mood has been low for a long time and my weight has been low for a long time. The thing is people keep telling me I've lost weight so it must be noticeable but she'd never seen me before so she didn't know and she didn't listen when I tried to mention it.
She wouldn't let me talk about my suicidal thoughts because I 'shouldn't dwell on them.' It's really hard not to when it's the only thing in my head. I'm trying really hard not to act on them but I don't know if I can stop myself. Deep down I can't stop thinking that I want to die and it's inevitable anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless. :frown:

I just want this to go away. I need this to go away.
She said she's going to talk to her superiors about whether I should go back on Fluoxetine. :shrug:

I can't concentrate on anything. People talk to me like I'm stupid because I keep giving them blank looks and thinking about other things. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm pushing everyone away and I just want everything to stop. I feel empty. And I hate it.

I can't do any revision and I'm destroying any chance of a future for myself.
The worst thing is I'm not sure I care.

I can't sleep at nights, I only had one meal today and I keep shaking when I'm alone because I can't bear feeling like this and I don't know how I'm supposed to cope. I have to be strong but it's been going on for too long and I just feel so weak. :frown:

I'm sorry. I don't expect anyone to read this, I just had to get it out.

Hi just to let you know I read it :smile:

I'm sorry you don't like the psychiatrist very much :frown:

Maybe the next time you see her it wont be so bad.

All of that bit in bold it just like me at times now.
So just so you know you're not alone, I can't concentrate/sleep I alienate people etc. And it is horrible :frown:

You do have to be strong, you just have to keep trying and take each day at a time. Just try and find little ways of helping you get through things.
If you ever need to talk, there are people here for you.

I hope everyone else is doing ok, lots of :hugs:

I've been so busy recently I may be losing my mind, but that's another story.

Reply 8114

death.drop

16

diamonddust

I haven't had the best day today.
I saw my new psychiatrist for the first time today and I don't like her very much. She didn't seem to listen to anything I said and said she wasn't sure if I am depressed because my symptoms have been going on so long and depression is symbolised by a change in mood and a change in weight etc.
that's a strange thing for a psychiatrist to say, people can be depressed for years. Perhaps your symptoms are similar to another condition, and she's just making sure you've been diagnosed correctly. it's worth giving her another go, if it's still not working for you then could you ask to see someone else? or just to get a second opinion?

She wouldn't let me talk about my suicidal thoughts because I 'shouldn't dwell on them.' It's really hard not to when it's the only thing in my head. I'm trying really hard not to act on them but I don't know if I can stop myself. Deep down I can't stop thinking that I want to die and it's inevitable anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless. :frown:

I just want this to go away. I need this to go away.

you're free to talk about it as much as you like on here, while it may not be the same as talking out loud to a real person it's better than nothing.

She said she's going to talk to her superiors about whether I should go back on Fluoxetine. :shrug:

then she must have been listening more than you think. see what happens next time before you write this off.

I can't do any revision and I'm destroying any chance of a future for myself.
The worst thing is I'm not sure I care.

the fact you even considered it is good, shows that you haven't totally given up :smile:

even if you don't manage to do well in your exams this time around it's not the end of the world. there's always another chance.

hope your next session goes better.

Reply 8115

Pocket Calculator

14

death.drop

house party or something?

nah, this was just people from work i invited back for a bit, and then they just never left.

diamonddust

I can't concentrate on anything. People talk to me like I'm stupid because I keep giving them blank looks and thinking about other things.

i end up like that quite a lot :frown:

I can't sleep at nights, I only had one meal today and I keep shaking when I'm alone because I can't bear feeling like this and I don't know how I'm supposed to cope. I have to be strong but it's been going on for too long and I just feel so weak. :frown:

and this. it's triggered by loneliness for me though, it's that that starts the anxiety and the sweating and all that. i probably don't eat enough either. aaagh.
finished work for the day, have nothing to do for the rest of the day. feeling a bit lost now

Reply 8116

FizzBitch

2

I'm going on a date tonight, but I don't think I like the guy in that way...
This is gonna make me sound like I'm leading him on, but I think I'm only going out of loneliness/because it's nice to know that someone finds me attractive...
Oh well, it's only one date.

Reply 8117

diamonddust

15

Thanks everyone. Thanks for being here. I've managed to do a little bit of work. I'll give the psychiatrist a chance, well I'm gonna have to really. I hope you're all ok.
:hugs:

to all and thank you.

Reply 8118

looosey

1

diamonddust

I saw my new psychiatrist for the first time today and I don't like her very much. She didn't seem to listen to anything I said and said she wasn't sure if I am depressed because my symptoms have been going on so long and depression is symbolised by a change in mood and a change in weight etc.
and my mood has been low for a long time and my weight has been low for a long time. The thing is people keep telling me I've lost weight so it must be noticeable but she'd never seen me before so she didn't know and she didn't listen when I tried to mention it.
She wouldn't let me talk about my suicidal thoughts because I 'shouldn't dwell on them.' It's really hard not to when it's the only thing in my head. I'm trying really hard not to act on them but I don't know if I can stop myself. Deep down I can't stop thinking that I want to die and it's inevitable anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless. :frown:

I just want this to go away. I need this to go away.
She said she's going to talk to her superiors about whether I should go back on Fluoxetine. :shrug:

If I were you, I'd give it another couple of appointments, and if you still don't like her and don't find her helpful, move onto someone else. Seeing the wrong psychiatrist for you is not only a waste of time, it can actually make you feel worse.

I don't understand why a psychiatrist would question you having depression just because the symptoms aren't new. Like death.drop said, many people go undiagnosed for years, myself included.

Reply 8119

jonathan122

Depression Society MkII

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