Personally I'd want the girl to change her name to mine but I wouldn't object if she didn't want to.

I read that article this morning and it does have some very dodgy history.

"it does have some very dodgy history."

So does the BBC....

#BBCGotRektOnTSR

Come on surely that deserves a +rep someone?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 129

OxFox

I would not change my name if I were to get married as I would see it as myself not being equal to my husband, reinforcing the sexism that exists in society today. Many don't change their name for professional reasons but for me, I don't wish to belong to anyone and I want to be seen as equal. This is only slightly related but I would never allow anyone to give me away at my wedding as I am not their property and why should I be passed from person to person like some object? I am quite happy to be walked down the aisle but not given away.

Reply 130

Legilimency

I wonder about the relationship between the history of women getting married compared to the present day view on the subject. We could argue the same way about Germany. Germany was once a nazist country where many people contributed to horrific mistreatment of a very large group of people. Today, though, we realise that Germany has changed. Today we would not argue it's a nazist country the way it were during the Second World War. Just like Germany has changed, the view of women and their place in a marriage could've changed. The questions is: Has it? We could generlise, guessing that it's either this way or that way. But utlimately, I think it comes down to what each individual woman determine is the right answer. If she believes changing her name would implicate reducing her to her husband's property, while also having a problem with that - then she probably should keep her name. Same goes for the other way around. If a woman believes she would still be free as a bird flying around in the skyline - then that's great. Personally, I would like to have a factual answer to that question. Has the view of a woman's position in a marriage changed? What does it mean to take a husbands name? Does it have to mean anything at all? Does it mean something completely different than voiced in the article?

Reply 131

username1111043

I would change mine as i would want to share the same name as my Children ( if i had them)

I know one vogue editior said to her fiance that she would change her name if she was not published in vogue at the time she got married. she got published very soon after her wedding and writes under her married name so no professional problems

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 132

babouskha

Yes, I would change my last name to his. I like the whole "the man is the head of the family" kinda thing.

Reply 133

username1412036

I'm gonna sound beta as f, but I'm a male and I feel name-changing is sexist. I'd be OK if she wanted it, but would prefer either a name-change for both of us (put the names together w/ a hyphen) or not change names at all.

Reply 134

Ronove

I am fundamentally opposed to name-changing. Yes, it's a tradition, but so is having those horrible little pink and white sugared almonds at your wedding and people have dropped that like a hot potato.

However - I will most likely do it, because my name was changed when I was about 6 to my stepdad's surname because mine was ****ing awful, and I don't want to be identified by that name for much longer. Also my partner is forrin and it would be quite cool to have a forrin name. And it might save the eternal mispronunciations when I go on to have a career here.

Reply 135

lilymoran

And there certainly are legal difference. Your husband/wife is your next of kin and will get your assets were something to happen to you. Same with health insurance. If you're unmarried, these things become more complex - you'd have to make wills and other legal documents. Pretty sure there are also tax benefits for married couples, but don't quote me on that. Medically, if you were in hospital, your husband/wife would be the person to make decisions for you. If you're not married it becomes questionable and if there's disagreement between you and other relatives your views may not be counted as you are technically not even a relative.

It is a common misconception that if you are married your spouse will get your estate after your death.Your spouse may not get all your assets if the estate is more than 250,000 pounds and there are children unless you write a will specifying that.

The husband, wife or civil partner keeps all the assets (including property), up to £250,000, and all the personal possessions, whatever their value.

The remainder of the estate will be shared as follows:

the husband, wife or civil partner gets a life interest in half of the remainder
the other half is then divided equally between the surviving children

If a son or daughter has already died, their children will inherit in their parent’s place.

I think that if you have one of the new Lasting Power of Attorney arrangements you can specify who will make decisions for you.

Reply 136

joker12345

Original post by pickup

.

It is a common misconception that if you are married your spouse will get your estate after your death.Your spouse may not get all your assets if the estate is more than 250,000 pounds and there are children unless you write a will specifying that.

The husband, wife or civil partner keeps all the assets (including property), up to £250,000, and all the personal possessions, whatever their value.

The remainder of the estate will be shared as follows:

the husband, wife or civil partner gets a life interest in half of the remainder
the other half is then divided equally between the surviving children

If a son or daughter has already died, their children will inherit in their parent’s place.

I think that if you have one of the new Lasting Power of Attorney arrangements you can specify who will make decisions for you.

Thanks for the correction, however, in the bit you quoted you can still see how that applies to only spouse or civil partner. If you're not married you get nothing. If you're unmarried but have children, I suppose it'll go to the children anyway and you can get your share back from them - but what if you don't have kids yet? THen you've got no rights.
Yes, I'm sure there are ways around all these things without marriage, but simply marriage does it all for you. So why not get married, and just do things how you want (keep your name if you want, etc)?