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I'm scared about starting college in September.

Omg thank you

S.R

Omg thank you so much for vindicating me! Was trying to tell the OP the same thing, she shouldn't go in thinking she's gonna make loads of friends and its all gonna be happy,if you have AS you will most likely make only 1 friend/ a couple acquaintances who wont be entirely nice to you in the sense that as you're not really a friend due to your differences, you will find yourself not invited to any of their group events and becoming the butt of their jokes, or just plain ignored. Obviously people will tend to not bother with AS people and gravitate towards people with better social skills. But no I got accused of being a "immature troll" for trying to explain this to the OP.

Sorry for the rant also.

I think that she should go in with an open mind and not just say 'Oh i won't make any friends so i'm not going to bother' but if after a month or so it doesnt' work out, she should just leave it :smile:

I agree with everything you say though.

Hi

First off, I don't have AS myself, but my boyfriend does so he's told me a lot about it & how it affects him etc.
College was hard enough for me, being what some (God knows who they are, and why they think they have the right to make that analysis!) consider "normal".. it's a big change from secondary school, especially if you have to go through the whole "making friends" thing again.

The best thing you could do would be to spend lunch/break times with your friends you mention you already have. I learnt that it isn't all that important to have "friends" as such in lesson, as long as you maybe have someone you could work with if you were working in a group. Start by asking them what else they're studying apart from whatever lesson you're in- if they're studying anything else that's the same as you, that would give you something else to talk about..

When you get more comfortable with them, you might want to mention your AS if they don't already know. I know when I met my bf I would't be with him now if he hadn't told me about it- as there were certain things about his behaviour that I didn't understand.

People in college should (in theory) be more mature and thoughtful than in highschool, so whatever rubbish you've had to put up with shouldn't come with you to college.

PM if you want to chat?

Reply 64

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

S.R

Omg thank you so much for vindicating me! Was trying to tell the OP the same thing, she shouldn't go in thinking she's gonna make loads of friends and its all gonna be happy,if you have AS you will most likely make only 1 friend/ a couple acquaintances who wont be entirely nice to you in the sense that as you're not really a friend due to your differences, you will find yourself not invited to any of their group events and becoming the butt of their jokes, or just plain ignored. Obviously people will tend to not bother with AS people and gravitate towards people with better social skills. But no I got accused of being a "immature troll" for trying to explain this to the OP.

Sorry for the rant also.

I'm scared about being intimating, because I talk to everyone in the class, and scared that people may find too crazy and weird to be friends with. I do take jokes and please stop scaring me, you are a boy of course it's harder for you but for a girl, I've had 13 years of coping by myself without knowing I had, made friends and made enemies from being a weird lass. You are assuming with AS that everything is terrible and will be ****** up. Open your mind a bit, in stead of assuming my life is like yours.

Reply 65

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

S.R

YES!

Mate even I'm starting to think you immature too, most people I know respect my positivity about all of this; I don't believe my 'problems' are problems as such, there are worst of people that both of us. Please stop turning a thread I created into an huge argument just because you had a crap time at school.

Reply 66

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

S.R

Hey, I'm being realistic here. AS people are the definition of uncool. I'm just telling her realistically if she wants less problems she should keep to herself.

I am OP and OP here is well loved by my friends for being positive and not letting things get me down, I know what it's like to rejected and dealt with it, if you are positive people will like it, I have learnt. You my friend have turned this thread into a ******* rant about your terrible time in school, which I didn't ask for, I asked for advice on making friends, not listening to you vent about how having AS is terrible and my life will be ****** up, ffs please do you think of the good sides to AS, high intelligence (anyone without AS isn't stupid btw), good remembering skills. Ahh yes I forgot, you moan about the bad sides, you wont get anywhere in life complaining about your life being horrible, people will get tired of you.

lol

OP

S.R

Fine whatever, be positive. You will learn the hard way.

I've learnt the hard way to get into this mind set! So stop assuming you know, because every AS person has a different story to tell!

Yeah

OP

Just remember this: You get diagnosed earler than girls and girls have to wait or never get diagnosed, count yourself lucky my friend that your symptoms was diagnosed as AS earlier so you get help. I never did.

Reply 71

Jesska xD

18

S.R

Fair enough :smile:

May I ask ho your bf met you? I'm intrigued as to how a guy with AS managed to start a relationship.

We have been in the same class for 2 years and he used to be really loud but shout at people because he knew the subject better than everyone else (computers) but then he calmed down alot and helped people with their coursework and since last april i think we've talked more on MSN. But we get on really well and we can talk loads but about intelligent things and not just talking about other people because that doesn't interest either of us!

Reply 72

EternalDoom

15

You'll be fine OP

Luckily my secondary school has a sixth form, which is linked to 3 other secondary schools in the area. So, there is the fun of meeting new people, and 99% of my friends are going to the same sixth form, and its a good sixth form with high pass rates.

Reply 73

Jesska xD

18

HamsterdanceX

Just remember this: You get diagnosed earler than girls and girls have to wait or never get diagnosed, count yourself lucky my friend that your symptoms was diagnosed as AS earlier so you get help. I never did.

Are you diagnosed?

Reply 74

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

Jessikar

Are you diagnosed?

I finally got diagnosed 3 years ago, I'm 16 now.

Reply 75

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

EternalDoom

You'll be fine OP

Luckily my secondary school has a sixth form, which is linked to 3 other secondary schools in the area. So, there is the fun of meeting new people, and 99% of my friends are going to the same sixth form, and its a good sixth form with high pass rates.

Thank you

- My school doesn't have an 6th Form so I have to go to college.

Reply 76

S.R

3

Jessikar

We have been in the same class for 2 years and he used to be really loud but shout at people because he knew the subject better than everyone else (computers) but then he calmed down alot and helped people with their coursework and since last april i think we've talked more on MSN. But we get on really well and we can talk loads but about intelligent things and not just talking about other people because that doesn't interest either of us!

Sounds great, wish that was me.

Reply 77

jelly1000

21

There is no reason why you can't make friends OP, you've just got to make an extra effort and be conciously aware all the time of what your doing. If you do have friends going to the college, my advice would be hang around with them where possible and you'll most likely meet new people through them. Make sure you get talking to them, find out if you have similar interests, or start a conversation with "do you like such and such."

Reply 78

Redreynard

10

my advice is don't go in trying to make a big splash. talk to one or two people, but not for too long. build up relationships slowly. .... because what people often shy away from is the feeling that they do not have enough space.

Reply 79

HamsterdanceX

OP

9

jelly1000

There is no reason why you can't make friends OP, you've just got to make an extra effort and be conciously aware all the time of what your doing. If you do have friends going to the college, my advice would be hang around with them where possible and you'll most likely meet new people through them. Make sure you get talking to them, find out if you have similar interests, or start a conversation with "do you like such and such."

Thank you - Right good conversation starters, like that are helpful :biggrin:

Redreynard

my advice is don't go in trying to make a big splash. talk to one or two people, but not for too long. build up relationships slowly. .... because what people often shy away from is the feeling that they do not have enough space.

Ahh okay, take it a step at a time. Thanks.

I'm scared about starting college in September.

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