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I'm not too sure whats wrong with me Watch

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    Right well I'm going to keep this simple.
    I'm pretty lonely right now. I've got a gf and she's lovely and everything but what she's done in the past has pretty much ****ed me up. I'm seriously under confident and just lack so much motivation. I've gone from being an out-going person to someone who just stays in :/ And no she's not the only reason why this has happened (over the past few years) but basically:

    The people I meet online I can talk to fine. They're usually girls cause well on places like omegle and stuff the guys don't want to talk. I'm usually told I'm funny and a nice guy. But I find it really hard to talk to people in college and spark up an interesting conversation who I meet in person. But online I'm totally different.

    Weird?
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    i'm guessing a lot of people on tsr are like this...
    i don't think that makes you weird
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    But the thing is - I was pretty popular.
    I don't come in this a lot haha (I should be working) but you know :P
    It's like have I changed or do people just not like me or what
    Thanks for the reassurance
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    ah well i used to be a bit of a sheep & a bit loud too ... just do your own thing and get some real friends
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    If it helps, I'm feeling the same.

    My boyfriend did something which has meant I now have low self-esteem and no motivation to do anything.
    I feel like I have to change myself now to be more outgoing and confident and fun and attractive, and it's getting quite hard :/
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    How many low confidence threads is it possible to have in one day. Cmon people.
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    (Original post by field)
    How many low confidence threads is it possible to have in one day. Cmon people.
    Haha sorry - its not about the low confidence that I want to discuss really. It's just that I can talk to people better online than in person? Its like I'm two different people? Just wondering if thats weird or not
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    (Original post by ApplePi)
    If it helps, I'm feeling the same.

    My boyfriend did something which has meant I now have low self-esteem and no motivation to do anything.
    I feel like I have to change myself now to be more outgoing and confident and fun and attractive, and it's getting quite hard :/
    I know exactly what you mean. But I know that if I talk to someone online I'm different or if I meet someone new than someone I already know? I wasn't exactly attractive or popular or anything (in fact I was a fat nerd :L) until two years ago or so when I started exercising blahblah and made new mates and stuff. I don't feel like I've changed but I just can't connect to people anymore?

    I've been told I act older than I am and that might be what it is :/

    If you wanna talk about it then message me or something
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    (Original post by Jtnz)
    Haha sorry - its not about the low confidence that I want to discuss really. It's just that I can talk to people better online than in person? Its like I'm two different people? Just wondering if thats weird or not
    I actually think this is a lot to do with confidence. Maybe you can talk to people online easier because there is an aspect of anonymity so you don't really care how you come across, which causes you to just be yourself. If you built up your confidence to talk to people as smoothly and as confidently as you can online then maybe your problem will disappear?
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    (Original post by Jtnz)
    I know exactly what you mean. But I know that if I talk to someone online I'm different or if I meet someone new than someone I already know? I wasn't exactly attractive or popular or anything (in fact I was a fat nerd :L) until two years ago or so when I started exercising blahblah and made new mates and stuff. I don't feel like I've changed but I just can't connect to people anymore?

    I've been told I act older than I am and that might be what it is :/

    If you wanna talk about it then message me or something
    I haven't spoken to anyone at all about it, I'd just feel humiliated!
    The sort of people I'm surrounded by at college doesn't help, most are all very loud and up themselves (private girls school.... bleugh.) They all just care about themselves :/ I do have close friends, just none I'd feel comfortable opening up those sorts of feelings to...

    I'm just bored of it!
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    Hi Jtnz,

    I don't think there's anything wrong with you, so for a start, dont' worry.

    The difference between who you feel you can be when behind a computer screen is often very different to how you feel 'in the real world'.

    So let's start with that.

    From my own experience, I remember sitting inside spending actually too much time online, staying up stupidly late on forums, etc. I found that the more I did that, the more unsociable I became in real life. So although it may seem hard, I really would recommend just taking some time away from the computer, leave off forums and Facebook etc for a few days, and try to re-connect with the real people in your life. It may take a while for you to regain some of your confidence, but I doubt you've lost it altogether! You just need to shake things up a bit.

    Are there any societies or group events you could join where you could meet new people?
    Or any friends that you haven't spoken to in a while? Give them a ring!

    Also, I know it may sound like the last thing that you wanna do, but doing some exercise and getting some fresh air will honestly make you feel better too. And hey, you might even meet some new people through it too!


    Ok, now about your girlfriend....
    Whatever she has done in the past that's messed you up - Have you thought about talking about it with her again? Does it still really bother you? Or is it just something that always comes to the front of your mind when you're feeling down anyway.

    I think you need to think about how much it bothers you - So much that you think what who had has been tainted by it so much that maybe it's time to call it a day? Or is it something that you feel you guys can move on from?


    Anyways, chin up, try to think about what you've got going on and the great aspects of your personality, and good luck
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    (Original post by Jtnz)
    Right well I'm going to keep this simple.
    I'm pretty lonely right now. I've got a gf and she's lovely and everything but what she's done in the past has pretty much ****ed me up. I'm seriously under confident and just lack so much motivation. I've gone from being an out-going person to someone who just stays in :/ And no she's not the only reason why this has happened (over the past few years) but basically:

    The people I meet online I can talk to fine. They're usually girls cause well on places like omegle and stuff the guys don't want to talk. I'm usually told I'm funny and a nice guy. But I find it really hard to talk to people in college and spark up an interesting conversation who I meet in person. But online I'm totally different.

    Weird?
    Perhaps you find that there's something obvious to talk about online, like if someone posts something and then you follow it up and start a conversation? If that's so then that's nothing to do with confidence, just knowing what someone's interested in and having something to talk about!
    Sometimes you just have to forget about what other people think and be yourself - talk to who you want to and don't care what other people might say or think - if they say something mean then they're simply not worth your time!
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    (Original post by StardustFox)
    Hi Jtnz,

    I don't think there's anything wrong with you, so for a start, dont' worry.

    The difference between who you feel you can be when behind a computer screen is often very different to how you feel 'in the real world'.

    So let's start with that.

    From my own experience, I remember sitting inside spending actually too much time online, staying up stupidly late on forums, etc. I found that the more I did that, the more unsociable I became in real life. So although it may seem hard, I really would recommend just taking some time away from the computer, leave off forums and Facebook etc for a few days, and try to re-connect with the real people in your life. It may take a while for you to regain some of your confidence, but I doubt you've lost it altogether! You just need to shake things up a bit.

    Are there any societies or group events you could join where you could meet new people?
    Or any friends that you haven't spoken to in a while? Give them a ring!

    Also, I know it may sound like the last thing that you wanna do, but doing some exercise and getting some fresh air will honestly make you feel better too. And hey, you might even meet some new people through it too!


    Ok, now about your girlfriend....
    Whatever she has done in the past that's messed you up - Have you thought about talking about it with her again? Does it still really bother you? Or is it just something that always comes to the front of your mind when you're feeling down anyway.

    I think you need to think about how much it bothers you - So much that you think what who had has been tainted by it so much that maybe it's time to call it a day? Or is it something that you feel you guys can move on from?


    Anyways, chin up, try to think about what you've got going on and the great aspects of your personality, and good luck
    Yeah I know what you mean i think the same really!
    The thing is I try and try? I ask people oh do you want to meet up blahblah and then they cancel at the last minute?
    Oh dw I go gym and run almost everyday (until the snow/exams came along) and I work at a coffee shop so I'm always chatting to people. Its just I can't seem to keep any kind of relationship or convo going without it getting boring or whatever? It's like I can try and organise things like going cinema or just around town or whatever - but no one seems to respond :/ haha
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    (Original post by ApplePi)
    I haven't spoken to anyone at all about it, I'd just feel humiliated!
    The sort of people I'm surrounded by at college doesn't help, most are all very loud and up themselves (private girls school.... bleugh.) They all just care about themselves :/ I do have close friends, just none I'd feel comfortable opening up those sorts of feelings to...

    I'm just bored of it!
    Hmm well from my experience - if you don't tell anyone what's happening with you, they can't help you! I'm sure your close friends want to help you but if you don't tell them the problem they can't? I kept it in for ages hoping someone would realise but no one did - until I told one of my mates and she was just like 'omg why didn't you tell me sooner' but yeah.

    I can open up to strangers so much easier than people I know, is that weird? Aha, that's probs why I talk to people online so much - like people I don't know :/

    But tbh if you ever need a rant or what not - I'll listen
 
 
 
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