Does this make sense?

Alright, I'm studying the novel The Secret Scripture and I'm writing about it.

Does this sentence make sense, or am I the grammatically challenged one?

"Dr Grene begins his monologue with a grammatically challenging complex sentence, giving the reader the idea that his narrative is going to be disjointed and less structured than his previous entries as he is rushing; this suggests that he is in tension. "

Reply 1

saucynivs

Original post by The Polymath

I don't know whether the point is valid, but the sentence makes sense :yes:

I might consider putting "AND complex sentence", "COMMA as he is rushing".

Alright, I adjusted it just now..

"Dr Grene begins his monologue with a declarative that is also a grammatically challenged and complex sentence: “Tremendously busy attending to all the arrangements at the hospital and not much time to write here”. This gives the reader the idea that his narrative is going to be disjointed and less structured than his previous entries due to his rushed writing. Furthermore, this suggests that he is in tension."

Hopefully that's a little more detailed than it was. Does it work? :smile: