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My GCSE English Speech - All Opinions Valued

Hey, I'd like to share my GCSE English speech I wrote, which I will have to perform to the class of 30 tomorrow; improvements are welcome, I'm aiming for at least an A grade. I'm 15, for any reference to quality of my work.

"So, are academic studies overrated? Society generally emphasises an academic rigour, designed to expedite scholastic prowess. However, this requires a dedicated and zealous demographic, which, understandably, not everyone possesses.

Well, what other options are offered? Once a student reaches the end of year 11, they are essentially completely controlling their education; the great diversity of choice is refreshing and a great juxtaposition of previous academic years. I believe the voluminous heterogeneity has something to offer for all: from A-Levels to apprenticeships, there's something for everyone.

However, per contra, some people disagree with the scheme of apprenticeships and vocational courses, claiming that the low-leveled courses are too basic, and won't lead to progession into the workplace, but rather a state of perpetual unemployment, provoked by their embellished vocational course.

So, the question remains, are academic studies overrated?"


Thanks for the help! (:
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 1
I think you show a great vocabulary, but choice of words like "juxtaposition", "per contra" and "volumnious heterogeneity" can come off as a bit over the top/cocky (as in, "Hi teacher, look at my fancy words. I never would have used them otherwise, I just want an A, therefore I found the most advanced words I could").

Decent speech though. Wording is just a part of a speech, presentation is the key.
Reply 2
A few comments:

- You start 3 of your paragraphs with "So" - it sounds a bit repetitive.
- You don't seem to be answering your question much in your speech; for example, you ask what other options are offered and only begin to touch the surface at the end.
- I don't know how long your speech should be, but it seems a bit short. I would suggest structuring your speech into an introduction of the issue, arguments for, arguments against, and a conclusion with an overall verdict answering the question.
- You seem to use a lot of complex words. Don't forget your target audience; I'm presuming this is a class of 15-year olds. Some of these people will not understand your vocabulary so your message will not come across to them.

Sorry if I seem harsh. Good luck!
Reply 3
In all honesty, can you define half the words you put in there?

Secondly, you're questioning your own question. You're not really giving your opinion/answering your question what soever.

Not to come across arrogant or anything, but other than that I think it's a nice speech.
Sorry, to me it's very showy but not in a good way, looks like you've just used synonym function on word. Also you don't reach a conclusion, which will most likely stop you from getting that A.

The issues you raised are good, if you just present it in a way that might be understandable by your audience, by cutting a few of those fancy words, it'll be fine. You are probably marked more on the quality of the presentation anyway.

Sorry if I've been a bit critical, Good Luck tomorrow just be confident :smile:
Reply 5
Try add some statistics, some fancy numbers which can be completely made up, or make up a quote from an expert "Dr John smith from Oxford university agrees tsr is a really handy website"

Make sure it is easy to read and so it flows off the tongue. I could see you constantly staring at the paper for those big words.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Words like per contra are used in academic writing, you will seldom find someone use it in speech (also, per contra and however mean the same thing).

And, how exactly does someone possess a demographic?

EDIT : Just read it through again. Yep, definitely don't understand what the case in point is.

Tips:
1)Have an argument
2)State said argument within first paragraph in simple terms.
3)Save impressive vocabulary for the body of your speech and restrict to one/two per sentence.
4)Conclude by reinforcing your initial argument within last paragraph.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 7
Can someone please write me a speech in time for tomorrow morning. roughly about 5 mins can be about anything as long as it’s persuasive and your typical English speech, I’ve tried to come up with a topic but am **** at English and speeches.
My granddaughter has to speak to her class of 30ish about a subject of her choice and she's not comfortable doing this. She has asked to do this to her teacher but she says no. I agree with her , she isn't doing drama. English is written not performed. To have it recorded is very uncomfortable for her so she has just dug her heels in and said she isn't going to do it. What do you think? I support her wholeheartedly
Reply 9
i feel like this component of the english gcse is the most important one! it is teaching you the life skill of public speaking. and most of the components of the gcse aren’t really going to be needed in life as much as this one. it teaches you how to confidently prove a point and if it were my granddaughter, i would make her do it because if it were me, i would regret not doing it. plus it would look weird if the whole class is doing it but she isn’t. it would raise a lot of questions, which i’m sure she might not like
Reply 10
i’m doing the same thing right now for my english gcse. but mine has to be around 5-7 mins long. and my teacher + pupils ask me questions at the end of the speech. depending on the speech length, she/they will ask me questions to fill the time. if it’s the same for you, the speech is a little bit too short. and then in that case, i’d say make it longer so that you avoid the extra questions asked. otherwise it’s good. but the complex vocab might be a little much and your audience might not understand it.

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