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Why do women who get accidentally pregnant, still keep the baby?
It makes no sense. The women are at a stage in their life when they are too young or simply not ready for a child for whatever reason. Yet when they fall pregnant they decide to keep the baby. Even though it will mess up their career, they aren't financially stable or secure, they're emotionally far too young to deal with bringing a kid up, the dad doesn't want the baby and won't agree to look after it. So the baby will grow up with an emotionally unstable mother, without enough money to live a comfortable life, who barely knows their dad. Great start in life for that kid. 
All these negative reasons to not have the baby when they accidentally fell pregnant, yet they still have the baby.
Women logic. I don't get it. Someone care to explain why women who accidentally fall pregnant make this irrational decision to keep the baby?
All these negative reasons to not have the baby when they accidentally fell pregnant, yet they still have the baby.Women logic. I don't get it. Someone care to explain why women who accidentally fall pregnant make this irrational decision to keep the baby?
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A lot of the girls I know who had kids young are basically part-time mothers who share parenting duties with their own mothers so they can still go out and have a fairly normal life.
Original post by BenAssirati
A poor start to life for the baby is better than no start to life at all.
Because not everyone is like yourself and would be able to live comfortably knowing they'd ended a process that 100% would have resulted in a human life.
That annoying pest called morality sometimes affects peoples decisions so your statement is quite ignorant and foolish it seems.
EDIT: I'm not arguing here for or against abortion, all I'm saying is that it is a personal decision, and that women who believe abortion is wrong should not be mocked or told their 'stupid' for taking the decision not to abort, and that is true for women of all ages.
That annoying pest called morality sometimes affects peoples decisions so your statement is quite ignorant and foolish it seems.
EDIT: I'm not arguing here for or against abortion, all I'm saying is that it is a personal decision, and that women who believe abortion is wrong should not be mocked or told their 'stupid' for taking the decision not to abort, and that is true for women of all ages.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Leon Trotsky
A lot of the girls I know who had kids young are basically part-time mothers who share parenting duties with their own mothers so they can still go out and have a fairly normal life.
Original post by Joker :)
It makes no sense. The women are at a stage in their life when they are too young or simply not ready for a child for whatever reason. Yet when they fall pregnant they decide to keep the baby. Even though it will mess up their career, they aren't financially stable or secure, they're emotionally far too young to deal with bringing a kid up, the dad doesn't want the baby and won't agree to look after it. So the baby will grow up with an emotionally unstable mother, without enough money to live a comfortable life, who barely knows their dad. Great start in life for that kid. All these negative reasons to not have the baby when they accidentally fell pregnant, yet they still have the baby.
Women logic. I don't get it. Someone care to explain why women who accidentally fall pregnant make this irrational decision to keep the baby?
All these negative reasons to not have the baby when they accidentally fell pregnant, yet they still have the baby.Women logic. I don't get it. Someone care to explain why women who accidentally fall pregnant make this irrational decision to keep the baby?
Because some people don't agree with abortion or couldn't go through with one.
Original post by Oschene23
Because not everyone is like yourself and would be able to live comfortably knowing they'd ended a process that 100% would have resulted in a human life.
That annoying pest called morality sometimes affects peoples decisions so your statement is quite ignorant and foolish it seems.
That annoying pest called morality sometimes affects peoples decisions so your statement is quite ignorant and foolish it seems.
Part of it is evolutionary. You could talk to a biologist for more detail, but as everyone knows the mothering instinct is quite strong and there'll be a whole range of chemicals and hormones that cement a mother's desire to look after their child. Obviously this is strongest once the baby is physically born, but I expect the hormonal change starts well before then and quite possibly as soon as its conceived.
And, of course, obviously if you're talking about young teens, they're emotional enough without being pregnant, they're not going to be the most logical thinkers, and they won't have all the benefits of life experience, so they may not be able to see the irrationality.
But all the above assumes that having the baby is actually the most illogical choice. Which is only true if you have a quite specific life plan. If you're out of education and not sure where you want to go (or conversely, if you are exactly on track, but have the spare time) then having a baby doesn't necessarily ruin your life. In fact for many depressed or 'lost' adolescents, a child can give them exactly the focus and 'point' to life they need. And if your parents had a messy or non-existent relationship, having no father around may be an inconsequential or even positive factor for you. There's also the perceived benefit that a younger parent can relate better to their children. (Whether that's true or not is up to you, but there are certainly people who believe it.)
And, of course, obviously if you're talking about young teens, they're emotional enough without being pregnant, they're not going to be the most logical thinkers, and they won't have all the benefits of life experience, so they may not be able to see the irrationality.
But all the above assumes that having the baby is actually the most illogical choice. Which is only true if you have a quite specific life plan. If you're out of education and not sure where you want to go (or conversely, if you are exactly on track, but have the spare time) then having a baby doesn't necessarily ruin your life. In fact for many depressed or 'lost' adolescents, a child can give them exactly the focus and 'point' to life they need. And if your parents had a messy or non-existent relationship, having no father around may be an inconsequential or even positive factor for you. There's also the perceived benefit that a younger parent can relate better to their children. (Whether that's true or not is up to you, but there are certainly people who believe it.)
In what kind of world have you grown up? I was an accident, as were most of my friends. My mother had me at 19 as a single mum, we had a fantastic life, we were always out exploring, in holiday parks on the weekend as she had tons of energy. She hated being stuck in the house.
Most of my friends babies were unexpected also but that doesn't mean they love them any less. I find your profile of a young unfit emotionally unstable mother is a minority. My mother had another child at 33 and she has not had the childhood I had as my mother is now unable to do the things she did with me and she is more stressed about money and is not physically able to give my sister the experiences we had together.
Having separated parents was awesome as a kid, separate Christmas and birthdays!
T.;dr having a child young doesn't mean you love them any less and there are many advantages to being a young parent.
Most of my friends babies were unexpected also but that doesn't mean they love them any less. I find your profile of a young unfit emotionally unstable mother is a minority. My mother had another child at 33 and she has not had the childhood I had as my mother is now unable to do the things she did with me and she is more stressed about money and is not physically able to give my sister the experiences we had together.
Having separated parents was awesome as a kid, separate Christmas and birthdays!
T.;dr having a child young doesn't mean you love them any less and there are many advantages to being a young parent.
(edited 10 years ago)
Many people, for religious or cultural reasons, would see "getting rid of" an unborn child a considerably worse thing to do, then to have that child in less than ideal circumstances.
Some of it could be naivety, not realising how much a baby will affect your whole life. But nevertheless, it could be well be a "I've made the mistake, the baby shouldn't have to pay the consequences, so I will have to".
For strong biological reasons, the emotional attachment to an unborn baby gets stronger and stronger through the pregnancy, so the longer somebody knows they are pregnant before making any decisions, (or the later they find out) the more likely it is that they would keep the baby. Generally fathers won't have that emotional attachment as strongly, so it's much easier for the reluctant dad to tell his girlfriend to have an abortion.
Giving up for adoption might seem a more sensible thing to do, but the extreme emotional response that most feel to a baby they have given birth to, makes that an incredibly difficult thing to do.
and also, in spite of all the potential problems, many will feel the one who will look after that baby best is its parents - or parent if only one. Which is harsh on adoptive parents, but fair when you consider the chaos of the care system.
Also, to be honest, I think people judge girls more if they carry a baby to full term and give it up, then if they have an abortion. which to me is a bit weird, but there you go.
Some of it could be naivety, not realising how much a baby will affect your whole life. But nevertheless, it could be well be a "I've made the mistake, the baby shouldn't have to pay the consequences, so I will have to".
For strong biological reasons, the emotional attachment to an unborn baby gets stronger and stronger through the pregnancy, so the longer somebody knows they are pregnant before making any decisions, (or the later they find out) the more likely it is that they would keep the baby. Generally fathers won't have that emotional attachment as strongly, so it's much easier for the reluctant dad to tell his girlfriend to have an abortion.
Giving up for adoption might seem a more sensible thing to do, but the extreme emotional response that most feel to a baby they have given birth to, makes that an incredibly difficult thing to do.
and also, in spite of all the potential problems, many will feel the one who will look after that baby best is its parents - or parent if only one. Which is harsh on adoptive parents, but fair when you consider the chaos of the care system.
Also, to be honest, I think people judge girls more if they carry a baby to full term and give it up, then if they have an abortion. which to me is a bit weird, but there you go.
Original post by Joker :)
Women logic. I don't get it.
You're not the only one.
Seriously?
You're just stereotyping. Women who have unexpected pregnancies are from all walks of life.
I was an unplanned baby who was raised solely by my father who didn't have any money or qualifications himself. Thanks to his dedication to giving me the best life he could (through doing minimum wage labour), i've had a fabulous childhood and a debt free academic career (I don't mention this to boast, just to demonstrate that just because a parent has limited means and is young/poor education etc doesn't mean they won't do their hardest to do the best for their child). Don't assume that every unplanned pregnancy is going to result in a child with a rubbish upbringing and useless parents.
You're just stereotyping. Women who have unexpected pregnancies are from all walks of life.
I was an unplanned baby who was raised solely by my father who didn't have any money or qualifications himself. Thanks to his dedication to giving me the best life he could (through doing minimum wage labour), i've had a fabulous childhood and a debt free academic career (I don't mention this to boast, just to demonstrate that just because a parent has limited means and is young/poor education etc doesn't mean they won't do their hardest to do the best for their child). Don't assume that every unplanned pregnancy is going to result in a child with a rubbish upbringing and useless parents.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by JennaEmBee
In what kind of world have you grown up? I was an accident, as were most of my friends. My mother had me at 19 as a single mum, we had a fantastic life, we were always out exploring, in holiday parks on the weekend as she had tons of energy. She hated being stuck in the house.
Most of my friends babies were unexpected also but that doesn't mean they love them any less. I find your profile of a young unfit emotionally unstable mother is a minority. My mother had another child at 33 and she has not had the childhood I had as my mother is now unable to do the things she did with me and she is more stressed about money and is not physically able to give my sister the experiences we had together.
Having separated parents was awesome as a kid, separate Christmas and birthdays!
T.;dr having a child young doesn't mean you love them any less and there are many advantages to being a young parent.
Most of my friends babies were unexpected also but that doesn't mean they love them any less. I find your profile of a young unfit emotionally unstable mother is a minority. My mother had another child at 33 and she has not had the childhood I had as my mother is now unable to do the things she did with me and she is more stressed about money and is not physically able to give my sister the experiences we had together.
Having separated parents was awesome as a kid, separate Christmas and birthdays!
T.;dr having a child young doesn't mean you love them any less and there are many advantages to being a young parent.
Your mother is clearly an exception. She was emotionally mature and gave you the time and attention you deserved to give you a good upbringing. There will always be exceptions and anomalies to the rule. I am glad to hear your mum brought you up well at such a young age but the sad fact is that most young mums aren't like your mum.
Just because they weren't planning it, doesn't mean it's completely impossible, an abortion is a traumatising thing to go through and when they weigh up the pros and cons keeping it may come out on top, some of them do in fact have the means to get by, some have help from parents and such... to each their own, if they can raise it perfectly well then there's no reason not to. As for the women who fall pregnant as adults, just because they weren't actively trying doesn't mean they cant be happy about it, why should they have to plan every aspect of their life, if they're in a secure relationship, stable job, steady income, emotionally healthy then why should they abort a child just because they didnt mean to get pregnant? seems a bit silly.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Vixen47
You're not the only one.
I don't really understand how someone gets "accidentally" pregnant in 2013. You are either using contraception or you are not. If you are not, and you don't want a baby, you are an idiot. If you don't know how to use contraception, you are not old enough to have sex.
Nevertheless, while I understand the general idea of your post, it became pathetic when you added "women's logic". If you failed basic science, I can inform you that women are no more responsible for pregnancy than men are. I understand that your annoyance was based on their "poor decisions", but these decisions are a burden for females to make, not men, and making that decision is entirely different when life is growing inside of you, and not inside another person.
I am intelligent enough to not get accidentally pregnant but in the hypothesis that it would happen, I cannot say that killing what is growing to be a human life, would be easy for me.
That being said, Britain is in many ways an uneducated and poor country, with a huge working and lower class and an exceptional amount of teenage pregnancies. More abortions would probably be better for the nation as a whole, but people are after all in charge of their own bodies. I don't know what the UK has done to **** things up so badly.
Nevertheless, while I understand the general idea of your post, it became pathetic when you added "women's logic". If you failed basic science, I can inform you that women are no more responsible for pregnancy than men are. I understand that your annoyance was based on their "poor decisions", but these decisions are a burden for females to make, not men, and making that decision is entirely different when life is growing inside of you, and not inside another person.
I am intelligent enough to not get accidentally pregnant but in the hypothesis that it would happen, I cannot say that killing what is growing to be a human life, would be easy for me.
That being said, Britain is in many ways an uneducated and poor country, with a huge working and lower class and an exceptional amount of teenage pregnancies. More abortions would probably be better for the nation as a whole, but people are after all in charge of their own bodies. I don't know what the UK has done to **** things up so badly.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Joker :)
If you were aborted, you would never have known anyway. Do you see where I am coming from?
Your mother is clearly an exception. She was emotionally mature and gave you the time and attention you deserved to give you a good upbringing. There will always be exceptions and anomalies to the rule. I am glad to hear your mum brought you up well at such a young age but the sad fact is that most young mums aren't like your mum.
Your mother is clearly an exception. She was emotionally mature and gave you the time and attention you deserved to give you a good upbringing. There will always be exceptions and anomalies to the rule. I am glad to hear your mum brought you up well at such a young age but the sad fact is that most young mums aren't like your mum.
Actually i think a lot of young mums really step up their game when they become parents. i think the god awful ones are actually a minority, I come from a town with a really very high teen pregnancy rate and im quite glad to say that most of them are pretty damned good, much better than i could be if that situation struck, i wouldn't be able to cope and yet girls younger than me do just fine. There's always going to be "bad" parents of any age, your age doesnt effect how much you can love your own child, yes being younger puts you at a disadvantage in terms of money but thats not the be all and end all, my upbringing was very financially insecure (albeit not with a teen mum) but i still had a wonderful childhood.
Original post by Joker :)
If you were aborted, you would never have known anyway. Do you see where I am coming from?
Your mother is clearly an exception. She was emotionally mature and gave you the time and attention you deserved to give you a good upbringing. There will always be exceptions and anomalies to the rule. I am glad to hear your mum brought you up well at such a young age but the sad fact is that most young mums aren't like your mum.
Your mother is clearly an exception. She was emotionally mature and gave you the time and attention you deserved to give you a good upbringing. There will always be exceptions and anomalies to the rule. I am glad to hear your mum brought you up well at such a young age but the sad fact is that most young mums aren't like your mum.
To be fair, whilst I disagree with your thread (I am anti-abortion). I do understand where you are coming from.
Whilst I babbled on how great my father was, my mother was a complete waste of space who went on to have 4 more children of which she also didn't care for. So I agree that age may in some instances play a factor. However I do still think those babies have a right to life once their hearts are beating.
Original post by Joker :)
Why didn't they abort? If they want to go out and have fun with their friends more than looking after their baby, they are clearly not emotionally mature enough to have the baby in the first place and should have aborted. Why wouldn't you think through this decision rationally before you have the baby? I cannot fathom this.
Well, having a baby at any time in your life isn't really a rational thing to do. It must be pretty hard to be dispassionate when you're a young girl who's just found out she's pregnant and has to decide whether to abort the foetus growing inside her and live with the worry over whether she did the right thing for the rest of her life, or keep it and basically put and end to your adolescence and maybe even your education in order to become a parent.
Original post by Millie228
I don't really understand how someone gets "accidentally" pregnant in 2013. You are either using contraception or you are not. If you are not, and you don't want a baby, you are an idiot. If you don't know how to use contraception, you are not old enough to have sex.
Nevertheless, while I understand the general idea of your post, it became pathetic when you added "women's logic". If you failed basic science, I can inform you that women are no more responsible for pregnancy than men are. I understand that your annoyance was based on their "poor decisions", but these decisions are a burden for females to make, not men, and making that decision is entirely different when life is growing inside of you, and not inside another person.
I am intelligent enough to not get accidentally pregnant but in the hypothesis that it would happen, I cannot say that killing what is growing to be a human life, would be easy for me.
That being said, Britain is in many ways an uneducated and poor country, with a huge working and lower class and an exceptional amount of teenage pregnancies. More abortions would probably be better for the nation as a whole, but people are after all in charge of their own bodies. I don't know what the UK has done to **** things up so badly.
Nevertheless, while I understand the general idea of your post, it became pathetic when you added "women's logic". If you failed basic science, I can inform you that women are no more responsible for pregnancy than men are. I understand that your annoyance was based on their "poor decisions", but these decisions are a burden for females to make, not men, and making that decision is entirely different when life is growing inside of you, and not inside another person.
I am intelligent enough to not get accidentally pregnant but in the hypothesis that it would happen, I cannot say that killing what is growing to be a human life, would be easy for me.
That being said, Britain is in many ways an uneducated and poor country, with a huge working and lower class and an exceptional amount of teenage pregnancies. More abortions would probably be better for the nation as a whole, but people are after all in charge of their own bodies. I don't know what the UK has done to **** things up so badly.
I think you mentioned some really valid points here, particularly about how its easier for men to be detached from the burden of such a decision.
However I think it is slightly ignorant to assume that birth control always works. Whilst it does on the main, there will always be exceptions whereby it may not be as effective despite following instructions. Eg what about the condom that splits and the M.A.P that fails? Its a long shot but it still happens,
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