Thought of ex at uni/freshers drives me nuts!

background: been going out with this girl for a good couple years, our first serious relationship for either of us. She decides during summer she doesn't want to feel too tied town in what she does and wants to be able to play around/flirt/even kiss other guys on a night out, etc. Admits she's felt stuff for other people for a while (behind my back) but still wants to make it work. I'm like LOL no and ended it about a week ago, even though I'm pretty much the one who felt more during the relationship and was content with just her. So ye I've been kinda ripped apart inside. And she is the sort of girl who could pull nearly anyone she wanted.

Been coping so far and kept up the no contact, problem is she's starting uni next week and knowing she's gonna be sucking face with other guys in a couple days in random clubs, fooling around with the guys she's living with in accommodation for a whole year etc makes me sick to my stomach. Why do I feel this way even though I'm over us in a relationship sense? Is it cause I'm so used to the idea of her being 'mine'? We were pretty shut off from everyone else while we went out, was an intense relationship.

Don't really wana 'avoid thinking about her', 'forget about her', 'distract myself' etc as im sure ill be told to - won't that prevent me from actually dealing with the issue and my feelings before I can move on? i duno. Just can't get over the thought of her hooking up so soon aargh thx guys

Grow up.

Been coping so far and kept up the no contact, problem is she's starting uni next week and knowing she's gonna be sucking face with other guys in a couple days in random clubs, fooling around with the guys she's living with in accommodation for a whole year etc makes me sick to my stomach.

If it makes you feel any better she could well grossly undersell herself, shag some lowlife and feel very cheap. That might make you feel somewhat worse, actually. All girls, especially middle-class ones who haven't really rebelled before, need to get it out of their system at some point and freshers' is their chance.

As likely as not she won't want to pull anyone, you're making all this up in your own head. She'll probably find it really seedy if she's just come out of a two-year relationship.

"Shut off from everyone else" - this is quite common. I know if I ended it with my gf we would both probably be in the same situation.

Sorry to hear this. Sadly it is one of the potential pitfalls of dating girls who could 'pull nearly anyone they wanted'. You have to focus on the long period of happiness and seek comfort from new love.

Would really appreciate if anyone had tips/advice on what to do not to move on from a relationship (cause I can do that), but how to stop feeling like the other person is yours/stop feeling depressed and crap every time you think about what she's up to. cheers.

Any girl in general can pull any guy they want if they try. No straight guy would say no to a session of sex unless the girl is absolutely bat**** crazy or incredibly ugly.

Thing is, I had to break up because she wanted other people...so imagine how much she'll get off during freshers and the rest of the year(s), finally being free? Heck she wanted to be unrestricted in clubs etc, this relationship won't affect her decision to not get with anyone, in face it'll do the opposite I'll most likely react how you described when my next year at uni starts next week, but by always assuming the worst I can ensure that it won't be as devastating a blow if/when it really does happen. I have to assume that from tomorrow, she could be getting off with a bunch of random guys. Heck one of my friends did that last year when she came out of a long-term relationship, and she didn't even want other guys before they broke up.

Strongly agree with Foo.mp3's post about 'territorialising' her, pretty much what happened to me, not helped by the years in which we had such a dependent relationship.

I do see what you all mean about 'why would you even want someone like that' and so on...to be honest since we broke up I feel like I have been getting over the relationship aspect and everything, I'm taking time to close that chapter in my life, acknowledge it happened, then move on which I'm doing well with...but goddammit that primal sickening gut instinct I get when I think about what she's doing with other guys won't go away! Of course I know it'd be stupid to carry on a relationship like that, I wouldn't want one with someone like that and I'd never emotionally put myself out there to her like that ever again, don't get me wrong...trouble is, that doesn't mean I can get over her getting physical again

Keep having on and off phases, sometimes I feel so great about everything, moving on with my life, etc, then BAM I feel like crap again (which is how I feel the majority of the time). Though I've blocked her on FB one of her friend's pictures showed up on the news feed of her out at a club with her friends, just seeing her face and in a club...well, you get the idea. Total setback.

Would really appreciate if anyone had tips/advice on what to do not to move on from a relationship (cause I can do that), but how to stop feeling like the other person is yours/stop feeling depressed and crap every time you think about what she's up to. cheers.