Am I bad for feeling this way?

I went through a breakup a year ago because my ex boyfriend of 4 years had a crush on my close friend and actually tried to pursue her. I was really heartbroken as at the time I thought he was ‘the one’ and we’d even spoken about marriage.

I’ve cut ties with my ex since, it’s a bit tricky with the friend because she is in the same friendship group from when I was at university. As I left uni I haven’t really spoken to her much since either. Nothing actually happened with her and my ex when we were together, it was just that he liked her and she would send me screenshots of his messages trying to pursue her. She told me that she rejected him and blocked him, but part of me doesn’t trust that because they are both still at uni and she has been talking about some mysterious guy in her life but has never shown any pictures or told us much about him. When I was with my ex she would also do some questionable things like literally walking around in her underwear in her uni room in front of me, my ex and another girl friend, told me that he was attractive, and was a bit obsessive about my relationship, like she would take pictures of us whilst we were just walking in public and she’d ask so many questions about my relationship.

The worst thing is one of my other friends has invited the group to her birthday (ex not included, the whole group have cut contact with him now). I don’t really want to see the girl. I was happily moving on before the invite but the thought of seeing that girl again would just bring back all the pain from the breakup knowing it was her that my ex wanted over 4 years with me. And I still don’t trust that she’s not going behind my back and betraying me just like he did. But on the other hand I don’t want to let my other friend down by not going to her birthday, I just feel like seeing the girl will undo all the moving on I have made progress on this past year.

This whole situation has caused me to have trust issues, I trusted my ex with my life but he betrayed me, I just feel like I can’t trust anyone. I know I probably sound really dramatic but I’m still just really hurt.

Am I bad for wanting to avoid the birthday party for my own peace?

Reply 1

Kschu

No, it’s quiet reasonable for you not to attend the birthday party. Always choose yourself and your mental peace first. I’m sure the other friend would understand. I don’t think going to the party and seeing the girl is a good idea as it might invoke different kind of emotions.