Was it fair of me to "test the water"?
Hey 
I was texting my girlfriend last night, having a normal discussion as we usually do. Now, we've just hit the 3 month mark and there's been nothing sexual happening at all. I have no problem with this, obviously I want to have sex with her, but neither her nor I have any sexual experience so I can understand that things might take a while to get going :P I've never been pushy or suggestive, I've never asked her for anything, nor have I ever even come out and said that I'm sexually attracted to her (though I'm assuming she knows).
So last night we were texting away and the topic of my firefighters training comes up. I thought I might test the water a bit, so I told her that I had some pictures of me in my firefighting gear, to which she replied "I'm sure you look very handsome". So I thought I would try stepping it up a bit and told her that if she ever wanted to see me in my gear but without my shirt on, that could be arranged. To cut a long story short, she got really awkward and left to do homework, I apologized and told her I was just testing the water.
Today, she's made little effort to talk to me, all I got really is a hello, a kiss goodbye and a 2 minute conversation with no effort on her part. I think I may have scared her!
Do you think there is any big deal in what I did? The way I see it is that if you ever want a relationship to go anywhere, you have to test the water a bit. As soon as I saw she was feeling awkward, I stopped, the texts weren't dirty, suggestive, rude, belittling, abusive, or overly sexual, they were just a bit cheeky and flirty really.
Big deal in what I did, or is she over reacting?
I was texting my girlfriend last night, having a normal discussion as we usually do. Now, we've just hit the 3 month mark and there's been nothing sexual happening at all. I have no problem with this, obviously I want to have sex with her, but neither her nor I have any sexual experience so I can understand that things might take a while to get going :P I've never been pushy or suggestive, I've never asked her for anything, nor have I ever even come out and said that I'm sexually attracted to her (though I'm assuming she knows).
So last night we were texting away and the topic of my firefighters training comes up. I thought I might test the water a bit, so I told her that I had some pictures of me in my firefighting gear, to which she replied "I'm sure you look very handsome". So I thought I would try stepping it up a bit and told her that if she ever wanted to see me in my gear but without my shirt on, that could be arranged. To cut a long story short, she got really awkward and left to do homework, I apologized and told her I was just testing the water.
Today, she's made little effort to talk to me, all I got really is a hello, a kiss goodbye and a 2 minute conversation with no effort on her part. I think I may have scared her!
Do you think there is any big deal in what I did? The way I see it is that if you ever want a relationship to go anywhere, you have to test the water a bit. As soon as I saw she was feeling awkward, I stopped, the texts weren't dirty, suggestive, rude, belittling, abusive, or overly sexual, they were just a bit cheeky and flirty really.
Big deal in what I did, or is she over reacting?
(edited 10 years ago)
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Wow, three months and she still can't handle seeing you topless? How frigid is she? Jeez
What you said is def nothing to worry about.
Keep 'testing the water' gauge her responses and just go from there. If you you won't scare her away, just straight up talk about something sexual and see how she responds.
Communication is key, don't force anything on her, but let her know that you would quite like to clap dem cheeks.
Also, how old are you both?
Keep 'testing the water' gauge her responses and just go from there. If you you won't scare her away, just straight up talk about something sexual and see how she responds.
Communication is key, don't force anything on her, but let her know that you would quite like to clap dem cheeks.
Also, how old are you both?
3 months in and she hasn't seen you topless? 
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
Original post by Rugby234
What you said is def nothing to worry about.
Keep 'testing the water' gauge her responses and just go from there. If you you won't scare her away, just straight up talk about something sexual and see how she responds.
Communication is key, don't force anything on her, but let her know that you would quite like to clap dem cheeks.
Also, how old are you both?
Keep 'testing the water' gauge her responses and just go from there. If you you won't scare her away, just straight up talk about something sexual and see how she responds.
Communication is key, don't force anything on her, but let her know that you would quite like to clap dem cheeks.
Also, how old are you both?
We're 17. I've got a feeling though that shes quite frightened by the idea of sex atm.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
3 months in and she hasn't seen you topless?
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
Tyrion, my Lord, what an honor it is to have received a reply from you
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
3 months in and she hasn't seen you topless?
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
No you did not do anything wrong. I'd have expected that kind of joke to have been made in the flirting stage. Jeesus.
Hey Tyrion wanna see me topless
Original post by Apocrypha
Jesus man the way she replied to that makes you think shes a stranger on the street you met 5 minutes ago..
Have you guys even kissed?
You're relationship sounds incredibly odd but maybe it could be worth it in the long run?
Have you guys even kissed?
You're relationship sounds incredibly odd but maybe it could be worth it in the long run?
Yes we've kissed, never really passionately or with with tongues. I tried, but I don't think she was feeling it -.-
Original post by JayPlays
Tyrion, my Lord, what an honor it is to have received a reply from you
Nice to know you support the right side. I shall make a mention of your name to my Father and see what I can do
Original post by JayPlays
Yes we've kissed, never really passionately or with with tongues. I tried, but I don't think she was feeling it -.-
Sounds like an incredibly awkward relationship, literally if i was you id just go up to her, ask her if she loves you, if she says of course why just be like you have a weird way of showing it then talk about an average realtionship between a girl and a boy and how youre annoyed you and your girlfriend are stuck at base 0.2
She sounds really shy and awkward... 3 months and she hasn't seen you without a top on?! 
Original post by Apocrypha
Hey Tyrion wanna see me topless
Only on Mondays
Original post by JayPlays
We're 17. I've got a feeling though that shes quite frightened by the idea of sex atm.
Ok, you're young. Chances are she's terrified, play it cool but make sure she knows what you want, talk to her about it.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Only on Mondays
Then ill take you for a drink on tuesday..... We were playing cards on wednesday, and on thursday and friday and saturday we chilled on Sunday.
Original post by Rugby234
Ok, you're young. Chances are she's terrified, play it cool but make sure she knows what you want, talk to her about it.
I plan on having a talk with her about sex next time we're alone at one of each others houses (which is rare because of distance). But I guess that could help to put some of her fears aside.
Original post by Apocrypha
Sounds like an incredibly awkward relationship, literally if i was you id just go up to her, ask her if she loves you, if she says of course why just be like you have a weird way of showing it then talk about an average realtionship between a girl and a boy and how youre annoyed you and your girlfriend are stuck at base 0.2
I don't want to pressure her, but I don't want her to think that in another 3 months time I'm not really going to be bothered about sex. I love her, I haven't told her yet, after yesterday, I'm worried that if she couldn't handle me talking about myself topless, she probably couldn't handle me dropping the L-bomb yet :P
Original post by JayPlays
I don't want to pressure her, but I don't want her to think that in another 3 months time I'm not really going to be bothered about sex. I love her, I haven't told her yet, after yesterday, I'm worried that if she couldn't handle me talking about myself topless, she probably couldn't handle me dropping the L-bomb yet :P
Lol just walk into her room without a top on (Thats if she allows you in her house)
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