Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I think she likes me, I'd just appreciate some advice.

I sort of want to explain my situation guys. I'm a 19 year old guy who likes a girl, and I don't know

a. whether she likes me and
b. what to do next

Background
So I joined sixth form aged 18 after spending a lot of time twiddling my thumbs in my bedroom doing nothing but eating Doritos and ballooning to 130kg. In hindsight I feel I had genuine depression.

I saw this girl on the first day and I instantly had this crazy crush. I thought to myself how am I ever going to get a girl like that. I decided to just focus on myself to give me the best shot at ever liking and finding a girl.

I found out she had a boyfriend. I became friends with the girl, went to her party and I guess seeing her with her boyfriend I slowly accepted it was never going to happen.

We drifted apart I deleted her number I saw her around in some classes but I just became an acquaintance because I didn't want to like a girl with s boyfriend.

Fast forward a year, I lost 40+ kg, I just became much more confident. I focused on myself and I got myself good grades and good university offers. Life is much better.

and today
I don't know how or why but gradually me and the girl started talking more. Her relationship with her boyfriend had been breaking down for months. Eventually after 2 years it collapsed. She told me she really valued my friendship. She also told me (as did her friends) that I am tailor made to her specific type.

she began messaging me a lot. One day I just said to her straight don't message me anymore. I didn't want to be friends. I told her how I felt. That I didn't want to be friends. I really like her. At first she said she really likes me but not in a romantic way. Slowly I feel like that is changing.

I asked her what she thought and she said we should take it slow. Give it a few months. I thought ok, fair enough, I don't want to be rebound,but I also thought she is avoiding the question. Sort of avoided her for a while.

I found out she has a profile on a dating website. (she doesn't sleep around if it matters) I made an account on the site and messaged her which she said she thought was really sweet (since I made the account to message her)

here is the crunch
I asked her if she is stringing me along for attention, and she said she swears she isnt

I asked her if this (me talking to her) would lead to anything and she said she didn't know/was unsure.

She then told me that it isn't easy to get into a proper relationship. She said we should go for coffee next week and have a real talk about the situation.

her friends told me they think she's unsure/undecided about me if anyone here understands that because I don't.
__________
I'm sorry for this thesis. Situation playing on my mind, really would appreciate some input.

Do you guys think she likes me ? Plenty more fish and all that but I really do like this girl.

I know she thinks I'm attractive, a good guy, intelligent, funny, charismatic. I know it sounds really like I'm blowing my own trumpet, and I really would never wish to post anonymously bragging about myself on thestudentroom at midnight. This is me quoting her. But I don't know if her thinking these things about me is the same as her liking me if that makes sense ?

And what do you think I should do/say when we get coffee ?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Forgot to add that when she told me we should go for coffee and its hard to start a relationship I asked her if she likes me and she said 'I really don't know'

Reply 2

Thatmuslimahxo

Give her time she's probably getting over her ex; maybe thats why she mentioned that being in a relationship is hard😊

Reply 3

Tootles

Original post by Anonymous

*snip*

Mistake number one: thinking, trying to read the shiz that's happening. We've all done it, I daresay I've done it more than most.

Stop it.

Just tell her. If she likes you, something will happen; if she doesn't, it won't.

Reply 4

katiedhodgson

Hi
Sounds like this is quite a predicament...
Give her space and accept her indecision. Show her you're a good friend and showcase your good attributes without bombarding her. If you like her and she likes you enough it will amount to something eventually... If you find it's just lust after a while you'll move on...
Everything happens for a reason don't get too bummed out/ overthinking. Just act yourself and everything will fall into place.
Wow that was cheesy but it is 12.24am and I am sleep deprived.
GOOD LUCK!

Reply 5

KICHMYARSE

dont be weird. there are millions of girls out there. let it run it but pursue other girls as well. guys who are in relationship are more attarctive than those not in it. take that match.com!

you are spending so much time and energy and focus on this girl. mingling with other girls would take your mind off.

and 130kg is not big. its 290 lbs. good weight. power.

Reply 6

Monkey.Man

she loves you, yeah yeah yeah
she loves you, yeah yeah yeah
she loves you, yeah yeah yeah, yeah
*guitar twiddle*
you think you've lost your love? well I saw her yesterday
it's you she's thinking of. she told me what to say
she said she loves you, and you know that can't be bad
she said she loves you, and you know you should be glad
(ooh)

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Some good advice in here.

I'm trying to reply to each post but my phone is giving me hell. I will quote reply in the morning.

but essentially I will try not to overthink it. I know I shouldn't, I just cant help it.

I will try to be more direct now too.

Reply 8

Treeroy

She clearly only wants to be friends - indicated by "really value your friendship" and "she really likes me but not in a romantic way". Welcome to your new residence in the friendzone.

And remember, maybe means no.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Treeroy. Sorry my quote function is bust on this mobile browser.

She said what she said about not seeing me romantically weeks ago.

I asked her if she likes me more recently or she only saw me as a friend and she said she was genuinely uncertain. I guess she could be lying but I don't think so.

I don't really believe in the friendzone. Before I was friends but I sense a change recently.

appreciate your input however, thanks.

Reply 10

Treeroy

Hm. I would be pretty wary about her saying she's uncertain. She may just have felt awkward rejecting you so wanted to give you a more ambiguous answer.

As for the friendzone, it is just an expression referring to the situation in which person A sees person B only as friends, while person B wants something more. It's not something to be "believed in" or not.