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I really like her but not sure what to do

Hi,

bit of a long story so will try and keep it short and sweet but just after some genuine advice really. Last month I messaged a girl on instagram and we hit it off straight away. We got texting and eventually went on a date after 2 weeks of talking non stop. She has been clear from the start that she wanted to take things slow as at the time it had only been 6 weeks since she had come out of a 2 year relationship, which i was fine with as i appreciated the honesty. so we went on a date and carried on talking for another week or so and as we were arranging the second date she randomly brought up that she wasn't sure if she was ready and wouldn't know how long she would need but really enjoyed talking to me. She suggested that we stop talking for a bit as she was afraid of it going nowhere and wasting both of our times as she can't put 100% in which felt unfair. Being completely honest, it hurt but I kinda just thought it was her way of politely telling me she wasn't interested. We went a week without talking and then randomly she replied to one of my private snapchat stories and we just got talking again from there. We spoke 24/7 for a good 3 weeks and even like a walk or nandos was mentioned. Last week my head was spinning with absolutely everything and i kind of asked 'where do i stand' with her and why she actually messaged me again as it never actually got discussed. Bare in mind that i'd had no hints that this was going this way but all of her answers were that she didn't know and that she isn't sure if she's ready and the thought of it having to go somewhere makes her want to run a mile. Again i was fine with that as i was happy to just carry on as she was as i was certain we had a genuine connection but we went back to not talking as she wanted to focus on herself and didn't want to mis lead us or waste either of her times.

This message was a week ago and it's been killing me ever since as i think me asking where i stand has scared her in a way which wasn't my intention. We are still on each others private stories and like the idiot i am, i keep putting stories on to try and get her attention. I'm using the free trial for snapchat+ and it does show that every now and then she is viewing my story more than once.

She's also started putting a few private stories on which she never did when we were messaging and i know it means nothing but i am really considering replying to one with a light hearted message just to see what happens.

What are your thoughts? Appreciate that this is so stupid.
Reply 1
There is some mix of right person and right time that is not quite working out here. Leave the ball firmly in her court and put your energy in the meanwhile in to finding someone who is unequivocally positive
She sounds flakey to me. You did the right thing giving her space, after which she contacted you again but with no clarity about where it was going. Again, you were spot on in asking her where you stood but she's said pretty much the same. I agree completely with Zarek, leave the ball in her court.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

bit of a long story so will try and keep it short and sweet but just after some genuine advice really. Last month I messaged a girl on instagram and we hit it off straight away. We got texting and eventually went on a date after 2 weeks of talking non stop. She has been clear from the start that she wanted to take things slow as at the time it had only been 6 weeks since she had come out of a 2 year relationship, which i was fine with as i appreciated the honesty. so we went on a date and carried on talking for another week or so and as we were arranging the second date she randomly brought up that she wasn't sure if she was ready and wouldn't know how long she would need but really enjoyed talking to me. She suggested that we stop talking for a bit as she was afraid of it going nowhere and wasting both of our times as she can't put 100% in which felt unfair. Being completely honest, it hurt but I kinda just thought it was her way of politely telling me she wasn't interested. We went a week without talking and then randomly she replied to one of my private snapchat stories and we just got talking again from there. We spoke 24/7 for a good 3 weeks and even like a walk or nandos was mentioned. Last week my head was spinning with absolutely everything and i kind of asked 'where do i stand' with her and why she actually messaged me again as it never actually got discussed. Bare in mind that i'd had no hints that this was going this way but all of her answers were that she didn't know and that she isn't sure if she's ready and the thought of it having to go somewhere makes her want to run a mile. Again i was fine with that as i was happy to just carry on as she was as i was certain we had a genuine connection but we went back to not talking as she wanted to focus on herself and didn't want to mis lead us or waste either of her times.

This message was a week ago and it's been killing me ever since as i think me asking where i stand has scared her in a way which wasn't my intention. We are still on each others private stories and like the idiot i am, i keep putting stories on to try and get her attention. I'm using the free trial for snapchat+ and it does show that every now and then she is viewing my story more than once.

She's also started putting a few private stories on which she never did when we were messaging and i know it means nothing but i am really considering replying to one with a light hearted message just to see what happens.

What are your thoughts? Appreciate that this is so stupid.

In short she ain't interested
Original post by I am Christine
In short she ain't interested

Who knows what goes on in a girls head

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