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feel like my biological clock is ticking

ok so few months ago my 3 yr relationship ended i really thought i was gonna marry this guy,
im 22 and im going back to uni to study medicine
i feel like by the time im over my 1st love and finish my degree (il be 27) il be really old as ive also got to start my career as a dr and i dont know where i can fit a baby in

also because il most likely have an arranged marriage i dont even want to get married i dnt even like thinking about it atm. my friend still goes on about her 1st love and no one compares to me which is making me even more nervous that il never find anyone better than my ex (esp cos like i said most likely will be arranged)

when will i get married and have kids?!??!

before we broke up i feel like i had my whole life planned. we were going to wait til he finished uni (he was doing med) and then get married and he wud do his f1 yrs at the area where im studying med.

everythings ruined and i know i shud be grateful i got into med and stuff but like my friends mum says medicine isnt going to keep you warm at night

also i want 3 kids so i need to start early

Reply 1

Limpopo

I dont think you need to panic just yet.

Also why do you have to have an arranged marriage? If its what you want,fine but if its just to keep others happy or fit with a certain model then why do it? May be there is a really nice guy outside of your usual cultural circle who you could fall in love with?

Reply 2

User1214833

27 isn't old! Do you really want children or do you just feel you should have them?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

Acrostics

Original post by Anonymous

In the position of being a doctor, many of them have children later. Many architects will be graduating from a degree after 5-8 years after many years of internship and after graduation of beginning to be recognised.

Express your concerns about relationships and marriage to your mum and the prospect of meeting a unfriendly man once married and all of those things if you have that closeness with her.

often, you cannot compare your first love but it doesn't mean you won't find it again because everyone is different. Don't limit yourself based on your friends experience.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by qwertyking

27 isn't old! Do you really want children or do you just feel you should have them?

Posted from TSR Mobile

i love children i definitely want them and fertility starts to decline from the age of 22 or something + increase risk of birth defect plus if i have my 1st kid when im 30 when will i have my 2nd and hopefully my 3rd

Reply 5

nase14_aldayz

Original post by Anonymous

So many women panic about this. Just for the record, this "thing" you have about wanting three kids might need to be addressed, as that could be viewed as obsessive by potential partners. I know you have your plans at the moment, but life doesn't always work like that, especially when it involves a long-term partner.

http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/19/7/1548

Reply 6

MancStudent098

Original post by Anonymous

when will i get married and have kids?!??!

1. You're 22
2. Don't get an arranged marriage
3. You're really only 22
4. Chill out.
5. Seriously. 22. Calm down.

Reply 7

r_u_jelly

simple, don't go to uni and get a job in mcdonalds :colone:

Reply 8

Le Nombre

You're twenty-***ing-two, you have around 2 decades of fertility left!

in case you need some more help getting this.

Once you're qualified you can have babies whenever, the NHS aren't going to sack you for getting preggers.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by MancStudent098

1. You're 22
2. Don't get an arranged marriage
3. You're really only 22
4. Chill out.
5. Seriously. 22. Calm down.

Ok i might have come across as a bit ott haha i know im only 22 but the point is im not getting married amd having kids now am i god knows when it will happen. Probably not til i finish uni andtrain as a dr whick will.mean im 29 which isnt exactly young and puts u in increased risk of complications and birth defects

Reply 10

Helenia

Original post by Anonymous

Having a baby as a junior doctor is always going to be tricky. At med school you'll have no money, afterwards you'll have money but much less time and more stress, and the worry of job insecurity/difficulty in progression in your career if you're off on maternity leave or working part-time when you have to apply for specialty training. It is very difficult to "have it all" without having to make some sacrifices.

I'm sorry you've broken up with your boyfriend, but you do still have time, and there's no need for you to rush into an arranged marriage with someone you may not like/love just because you want to hear the patter of tiny feet.

Reply 11

andersonsophie_8

27 isnt old. Think of the bright side, the time you had together was good, but as you have both changed because you have grown up, you need someone different. At the moment, so enjoy being by yourself. Just be happy, it is not like the old days when people just go out either for a year or a few months, get married, and have kids then find out they have married the wrong person.

Reply 12

Solemn Rain

why in rush to have kids?

22.....

Reply 13

antipathy

Realistically, you're not going to want to have a child as soon as you finish med school if you're serious about becoming a doctor.

Junior doctors work appalling hours, and I don't see how you could keep that up and raise a small child, though I'm sure some very industrious women do manage it. And with the right partner (preferably one working more sane hours) you might be able to work something out.

But most people would want a couple of years to establish themselves in their chosen profession before having children (and you need to be there a year iirc to qualify for maternity pay anyway). So yes, it may well be more like 29 before you have children.

But that's really not that late by today's standards, and you're likely to stay fertile well into your late 30's/early 40's. Plenty of time to have children if you want them.

Avoid an arranged marriage if you don't want one, it should be your choice and your choice alone. Try and find someone nice of your own volition, you have plenty of time :smile: