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How to kindly be anti-social? Watch

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    I'm due to start university this coming September. I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice as to how to kindly tell current friends that I no longer wish to maintain contact, due to having study commitments.

    Also, in general, how would I stay clear of unnecessary friendships during university which may have a negative effect on my performance?

    I ask this because I've heard of many stories where people didn't get the degree classifications they originally aimed for and blamed it on socialising, I don't wish (nor wish to take the chance) of making the same mistakes. Thank you in advance.

    tl;dr: How do I go about being a ghost, without being rude, basically?
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    I think the word you're looking for is un​social
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    If you keep saying "no" - people won't really know you, and hence will stop asking you out. Although you'd probably become lonely with no friends.
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    Well you must be doing it right if your on TSR for starters ...
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    (Original post by louieee)
    I think the word you're looking for is un​social
    You're quite right. The misuse of terminology that plagues the area of London I reside in has taken its toll on me.
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    I'm being a pedant but there's a big difference between "anti-social" and "unsociable".

    It shouldn't be that hard. When friends invite you out but you'd prefer to/need to work, just be polite and thank them for it but explain you're taking uni seriously. If they're worth having as friends, they should get it.
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    (Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
    Well you must be doing it right if your on TSR for starters ...
    Step 1 complete. Although I still have friends who are adamant on making me venture to their usually pathetic and unproductive daily activities.
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    You're quite right. The misuse of terminology that plagues the area of London I reside in has taken its toll on me.
    seems I was wrong too- the word I was looking for is unsociable :facepalm:
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    Step 1 complete. Although I still have friends who are adamant on making me venture to their usually pathetic and unproductive daily activities.
    Stopped reading here.

    Your jeopardizing your future , abandon these fools and their trivial tastes , they will only weigh you down.
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    (Original post by louieee)
    seems I was wrong too- the word I was looking for is unsociable :facepalm:
    So much for having GCSEs in English.
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    Make friends with workaholics like you, then you won't be invited to go anywhere but the library.
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    So much for having GCSEs in English.
    eh u wot m8
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    (Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
    Stopped reading here.

    Your jeopardizing your future , abandon these fools and their trivial tastes , they will only weigh you down.
    I whole heartedly agree. Although my mum is quite supportive of the concept of having friends. Imagine.. she even wants me to get married someday. I'm thinking of cutting off ties with her, although, I could do with the financial backing which she can readily provide. I'm in some sort of conundrum on this decision.
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    I whole heartedly agree. Although my mum is quite supportive of the concept of having friends. Imagine.. she even wants me to get married someday. I'm thinking of cutting off ties with her, although, I could do with the financial backing which she can readily provide. I'm in some sort of conundrum on this decision.
    Same here , I can sympathise with your current predicament.

    My personal solution to this long term dilemma is to use my mother for her assets while I secure my future in all means of the word , once I am in a stable financial position I will burn the bridge so to speak , and lose this non profitable asset.
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    (Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
    Same here , I can sympathise with your current predicament.

    My personal solution to this long term dilemma is to use my mother for her assets while I secure my future in all means of the word , once I am in a stable financial position I will burn the bridge so to speak , and lose this non profitable asset.
    Indeed, I second this solution. Especially once you factor in the long-term commitment of both time and effort in maintaining a relationship which is unlikely to increase your capital. It makes very little objective self-serving sense to hold on to liabilities. In fact you can even leverage your desire to succeed (so to speak) to make the process a lot less emotionally defeating.
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    I'm not sure the risk of loneliness and potential mental health issues is an acceptable liability. But if you want to do it, just reject initial advances. People will soon not bother or care.
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    OP, I would suggest that having friends will have a positive impact on your mood, and thus make you much more likely to do well.

    (Original post by Alex-Torres)
    If you keep saying "no" - people won't really know you, and hence will stop asking you out. Although you'd probably become lonely with no friends.
    This.
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    I'm due to start university this coming September. I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice as to how to kindly tell current friends that I no longer wish to maintain contact, due to having study commitments.

    Also, in general, how would I stay clear of unnecessary friendships during university which may have a negative effect on my performance?

    I ask this because I've heard of many stories where people didn't get the degree classifications they originally aimed for and blamed it on socialising, I don't wish (nor wish to take the chance) of making the same mistakes. Thank you in advance.

    tl;dr: How do I go about being a ghost, without being rude, basically?
    Just kindly reject any invitations and they'll get the message.

    But I don't think having no friends is healthy. Why don't you join academic clubs/societies at your uni so you can make new friends. This will prevent the mental health issues that are likely to arise as a result of having no friends, and being around like-minded/ambitious people is likely to motivate you and make you achieve more.

    I'm sure you'll find something that interests you here: http://bunhill.city.ac.uk/media/club...257792005C1489
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    (Original post by Chief Wiggum)
    OP, I would suggest that having friends will have a positive impact on your mood, and thus make you much more likely to do well.
    I suppose having friends who have similar motives wouldn't be so bad. If they're willing to help me through my studies, I'd have no reason to object. Although, given all these university stories.. I understand that many students go for different reasons.
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    (Original post by Mindless Behavior)
    Just kindly reject any invitations and they'll get the message.

    But I don't think having no friends is healthy. Why don't you join academic clubs/societies at your uni so you can make new friends. This will prevent the mental health issues that are likely to arise as a result of having no friends, and being around like-minded/ambitious people is likely to motivate you and make you achieve more.

    I'm sure you'll find something that interests you here: http://bunhill.city.ac.uk/media/club...257792005C1489
    I have already been invited to join some of those societies and shall be taking full advantage of what they have to offer. I'll definitely consider networking with those who wish to utilise their time at university effectively.
 
 
 
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