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Is "just be yourself" good advice

Whether it's trying to make friends or going on a first date, is being yourself good advice?
Does anyone have stories when being themselves worked or didn't or pretending to be someone else worked out better for them?

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to be honest I don't even know what my true personality is
I think honesty is better because even if you succeed by being fake it won't feel as real as being accepted and successful for being 'yourself'
Yeah. If you're fake everyone will know.
Reply 4
Good advice in theory, but rarely happens. People generally want people to like them and adapt to make them fit in.
Reply 5
Original post by Lionheart96
is being yourself good advice?


Who else would you be?
Original post by Lionheart96
Whether it's trying to make friends or going on a first date, is being yourself good advice?
Does anyone have stories when being themselves worked or didn't or pretending to be someone else worked out better for them?


It depends on which area. If you have a geeky or weird interest, I'd say you're better off just being totally upfront and cool about it, rather than trying to hide it or play down your enthusiasm. You can come across as boring by worrying about interests being accepted.

However, there's some things it's usually best to avoid, strong political or religious views aren't really for first dates. And most importantly, if you're shy, you have to make an effort not to be.
what if my true personality is "try to be fake all the time"... =P
I'm never myself. It works better for me, I'm content and almost happier knowing that nobody knows my true self.

Original post by SmallTownGirl
Yeah. If you're fake everyone will know.


Lies. Unless you're just **** at lying, it's unbelievably easy to fool people.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Mankytoes
It depends on which area. If you have a geeky or weird interest, I'd say you're better off just being totally upfront and cool about it, rather than trying to hide it or play down your enthusiasm. You can come across as boring by worrying about interests being accepted.

However, there's some things it's usually best to avoid, strong political or religious views aren't really for first dates. And most importantly, if you're shy, you have to make an effort not to be.

Yeah obviously i wouldn't talk about politics on my first date lol or any date for that matter :P.
I was thinking more like if you aren't that big into drinking/getting drunk to just lie and say "yeah i love going out and drinking" to look 'cool' :P
Original post by Lionheart96
Yeah obviously i wouldn't talk about politics on my first date lol or any date for that matter :P.
I was thinking more like if you aren't that big into drinking/getting drunk to just lie and say "yeah i love going out and drinking" to look 'cool' :P


I'd definitely not do that, I don't think that's something that's very important in a partner, I've never heard anyone say "they're nice, but they aren't that big into drinking". It's more important to come across like you aren't that bothered about what people think of you than to have lots of "cool" interests. If you are someone who is desperate to appear cool, that's something I'd try to play down, and not necessarily "be yourself". I can get quite defensive, for example, that's something I try to play down.
Well of course you have to be yourself...
... everyone else is taken. o_o
Original post by Mankytoes
I'd definitely not do that, I don't think that's something that's very important in a partner, I've never heard anyone say "they're nice, but they aren't that big into drinking". It's more important to come across like you aren't that bothered about what people think of you than to have lots of "cool" interests. If you are someone who is desperate to appear cool, that's something I'd try to play down, and not necessarily "be yourself". I can get quite defensive, for example, that's something I try to play down.

Ok how about if its just making friends at uni, where drinking is kinda a big thing.
I can't imagine that it would be good advice for someone who doesn't LIKE who they are or how they handle certain situations. But assuring someone that who they are is kind, friendly, funny, intelligent etc. with valid reasonings behind it is in my opinion, good advice. Because then you're giving that person a reason to handle that situation.
Original post by Lionheart96
Ok how about if its just making friends at uni, where drinking is kinda a big thing.


Well if they're that bothered, they'll probably be going out drinking all the time, so I'd assume you wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway?
Original post by Mankytoes
Well if they're that bothered, they'll probably be going out drinking all the time, so I'd assume you wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway?

i like this girl, and their entire group goes out every week, i don't mind drinking from time to time but i don't like being drunk
Original post by Lionheart96
Whether it's trying to make friends or going on a first date, is being yourself good advice?
Does anyone have stories when being themselves worked or didn't or pretending to be someone else worked out better for them?


yeah it is! if you be yourself, you'll attract all the right people who will love you for you and not for being somebody else, i.e. fake. you should always be yourself regardless of whatever people think or say. i always be myself! and to be honest, that feeling of being able to be yourself in all situations is the happiest, no lie. if you try to be someone else, you'll notice that you're not as happy as you should be because you feel as if your whole life should be a script

oh, and in the long run, do you think fake people will keep up with being fake? not at all. they will eventually get tired of being fake and start to act more real... then their partner will come to realize the change and well just, yeah, it'll be bad...

moral of the story: in the long run just being yourself will benefit you the most:biggrin: never decide to go for the fake option just because you want to rush into things. give it some time and be patient. never underestimate the real you, because there is somebody out there that would LOVE to have someone like YOU in their life.
(edited 9 years ago)
Not necessarily, some people are just weird and annoying ... :ninja:
It's good advice if you have a sparkling personality, are well-spoken and lead a life full of amazing adventures. If, however, you're boring, dull and empty, then you need to pretend to be something that you're not in order to succeed at socialising.

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It depends who you are.

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