Making out
Hi,
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
Condoms are pretty useful in that regard, but if you're really bothered maybe suggest jokingly you go on a romantic trip to a GUM clinic or something and see how they react? Or ask about how many previous 'relationships' they've had.
Original post by Wahrheit
Condoms are pretty useful in that regard, but if you're really bothered maybe suggest jokingly you go on a romantic trip to a GUM clinic or something and see how they react? Or ask about how many previous 'relationships' they've had.
I'm not bothered by how many 'relationships' they've had (as long as they are not jumping from one person to another on daily basis) but it would be good just to know but how to approach that, I don't see that discussed anywhere. My two friends caught sth from their partners so it just got me wondering.
Now that I think, asking that kinda ruins the mood but then again, it's important to know or get checked, right? What if the partner doesn't know?
Ever been to a club lol
Just do it
Just do it
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not bothered by how many 'relationships' they've had (as long as they are not jumping from one person to another on daily basis) but it would be good just to know but how to approach that, I don't see that discussed anywhere. My two friends caught sth from their partners so it just got me wondering.
Now that I think, asking that kinda ruins the mood but then again, it's important to know or get checked, right? What if the partner doesn't know?
Now that I think, asking that kinda ruins the mood but then again, it's important to know or get checked, right? What if the partner doesn't know?
Yeah, I feel ya. If you bring it up right before it happens it could kill the mood, if you ask at another time it can be a bit presumptive. It depends how long you're willing to wait I guess. If you're willing to wait long enough that you feel comfortable enough with them to say 'look, I practice safe sex and part of that means getting regular checks for STIs. Are you comfortable to go with me and get checked too?'
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
Talk to him/her about it. If you are grown up enough to make out with someone you are adult enough to talk about making out kissing...at some point you might want to talk about sex, marriage, babies even! Okay maybe not quite
but you need to talk about it. And why are you with someone you worry is unhygienic?Original post by Cold Phoenix
Ever been to a club lol
Just do it
Just do it
Yeah, been there and every time I get a girl or a boy I can't help but wonder if she/he doesn't have sth and that she/he should kinda ask me too cause well, you can't tell if sb has sth until you catch it too. Idk, nowadays ppl are more open sexually so you kinda spread certain stuff easier...
Original post by Wahrheit
Yeah, I feel ya. If you bring it up right before it happens it could kill the mood, if you ask at another time it can be a bit presumptive. It depends how long you're willing to wait I guess. If you're willing to wait long enough that you feel comfortable enough with them to say 'look, I practice safe sex and part of that means getting regular checks for STIs. Are you comfortable to go with me and get checked too?'
Ahh, yeah I guess I need to pick a good time to ask, be confident about that and see how it goes but what when you go clubbing and you catch a nice partner? I mean, well the whole point of picking up sb is for sex but idk, do ppl really don't feel bothered by random, quick sex without any checks? I mean, yeah you still got condoms.
Original post by marythestudent
Talk to him/her about it. If you are grown up enough to make out with someone you are adult enough to talk about making out kissing...at some point you might want to talk about sex, marriage, babies even! Okay maybe not quite but you need to talk about it. And why are you with someone you worry is unhygienic?
but you need to talk about it. And why are you with someone you worry is unhygienic?Well, you can't really tell if they have sth until you catch it or they tell you. Man, talking is harder that doling the stuff
doing*
Original post by Wahrheit
Yeah, I feel ya. If you bring it up right before it happens it could kill the mood, if you ask at another time it can be a bit presumptive. It depends how long you're willing to wait I guess. If you're willing to wait long enough that you feel comfortable enough with them to say 'look, I practice safe sex and part of that means getting regular checks for STIs. Are you comfortable to go with me and get checked too?'
You dont have to bring it up Like that...you could say have you been with anyone else? Do you prefer using condoms? If he/She says absolutely yes I think safe sex is important they're the person for you. If not i'd run a mile...also why would you regularly check for stds if you are with one person unless you aren't being exclusive.
Also about the clubbing scene. If you are having sex with random people unprotected getting pregnant/having an std is something you'd have to just accept. Even if it is protected there could be a risk of the condom breaking...
Original post by marythestudent
You dont have to bring it up Like that...you could say have you been with anyone else? Do you prefer using condoms? If he/She says absolutely yes I think safe sex is important they're the person for you. If not i'd run a mile...also why would you regularly check for stds if you are with one person unless you aren't being exclusive.
Also about the clubbing scene. If you are having sex with random people unprotected getting pregnant/having an std is something you'd have to just accept. Even if it is protected there could be a risk of the condom breaking...
Also about the clubbing scene. If you are having sex with random people unprotected getting pregnant/having an std is something you'd have to just accept. Even if it is protected there could be a risk of the condom breaking...
Yeah I agree, the condom is not 100% protection, stuff happens which is why I kinda want to know if the sex is gonna be well, more or less safe.
Well, I have meet few ppl who were kinda 'dating' others and still trying out, which again made me think even more about that issue. But even when you start dating, if there is this spark/lust, it's hard to control it and you simply wanna do it asap but you never know if that person wasn't with sb else just not long ago. I realised ppl don't think about STD much, maybe it's me... Even if you are with just 1 person, that person could have been before with sb else and maybe catch sth and not know it, so the risk is still there anyway, no?
I just did for the first time ever on Thursday, one word of advice: give them a mint beforehand. Also, it's quite sloppy.
Original post by marythestudent
You dont have to bring it up Like that...you could say have you been with anyone else? Do you prefer using condoms? If he/She says absolutely yes I think safe sex is important they're the person for you. If not i'd run a mile...also why would you regularly check for stds if you are with one person unless you aren't being exclusive.
Also about the clubbing scene. If you are having sex with random people unprotected getting pregnant/having an std is something you'd have to just accept. Even if it is protected there could be a risk of the condom breaking...
Also about the clubbing scene. If you are having sex with random people unprotected getting pregnant/having an std is something you'd have to just accept. Even if it is protected there could be a risk of the condom breaking...
The reason is just so you can get the other person checked. It's better to say 'let's both get checked' than 'you get checked and I'll wait outside'. If I trsuted them enough to trust their response to the safe sex question, I probably wouldn't need to ask.
And yeah I'm not into having sex with strangers myself so I don't really have any insight on picking people up in clubs
Before I first slept with my current boyfriend, we were making out, and before things got too heated he just stopped and said, "Btw, just so you know, I've been tested, and have only slept with one person since, who was similarly clean." That left it nice and clear for me to tell him my own position (as it happened, virgin, so no stds to speak of), and it was a really nice, comfortable way to do it, because it makes it nice and clear that it's something of a concern for you, but it's a mutual thing, and suggests you are as concerned for your partner as for yourself, which makes is a good start to a relationship. As for picking people up in clubs, I can't really help you, but I'd imagine the same sort of thing would work. Also, I would recommend the use of condoms even if your partner is clean as a backup means of contraception (or the only one if she isn't on anything hormonal, but bear in mind that condoms are 98% effective when used perfectly, which in clubbing/drunken situations they are unlikely to be.).
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
I wonder how is it in reality. You know in movies a guy picks up a girl, they are so hot for each other, passion takes over and they immediately end in bed or idk you start dating and obviously wanna do it. Like do you touch the issue whether your partner is clean/healthy? I know it's kinda not romantic or might be awkward but it's quite important to not catch anything or you just do it anyway?
I wouldn't bring it straight up the first time when getting intimate but I would insist on using condoms. If the girl/woman is on contraception then you can talk about whether you're both clean and wanting to stop using condoms.... and if you still feel uncertain both go down the clinic to get tested. Tbh being tested after every sexual partner is the safest way to go so you know you don't have any STD's lurking around!
Also, I have had sex without condoms for the first time but I trusted him and he trusted me, we knew a fair bit about each others past. Once it ended I got myself tested and sure enough I was fine :-) obviously it's always best to use condoms though, we did get carried away in the moment but I was on the implant aswell.
When you're feeling rational and sane it seems a reasonable thing to ask.
When you're horny (and possibly drunk) anything goes and you don't let anything get in your way.
When you're horny (and possibly drunk) anything goes and you don't let anything get in your way.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Making friends at uni
- Sad about friends
- Living at home during uni
- clubbing
- Clubbing/social life at uni
- Too sick to do freshers week
- Firm choice wait time
- I dont want to go out dueing freshers week
- how to make friends at uni?
- Advice on how to catch up in year 12?
- Making friends at uni
- what is it like moving out?
- University freshers week
- what factors of a uni make people more likely to speak to you?
- crossing out in exams
- Form submission and places offered
- dropping out in second year
- is it worth moving out for uni for this reason
- Sheffield hallam
- My friendgroup want to stop being friends with someone in it but we don't know how
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
