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Sad about friends

Im on a gap year out of uni, just left after one year, having a year out. At uni I fell out with my best friend from school who id been friends with for like 12 years- thought she was going to be in my life forever. Go to each others weddings etc. we text occasionally but i don’t see her te same way or really want to see her irl. I miss our friendship though. I have a few other friends but they live back in my uni city or other cities.

Im someone who needs friends and to go out a lot. This year out will really make it hard to see friends and make new ones and im sad about that. I text my close friends occasionally but since we’re long distance now theres not much to say anymore but I still love them as my friends. How do I get over this sadness? I start a new job soon so might make some work friends and have more social interactions there.

In general I live in a village atm- does anyone have advice for making friends in a small place as a 20 year old?

Thanks
Reply 1
I'm sorry, that sounds tough. You're not alone. I don't have many friends, the ones I have I seldom hang out with. I can understand the feeling of lacking that connection and the fear of missing out on life. The best thing I did for myself was teach myself how to enjoy my own company and value my own non-shared experiences. Mostly I like hiking or traveling when I can which excites. For you that could be practising going places in the city by yourself like to the cinema for example.

I'm not saying be a loner forever it's just a solution as making friends is hard in adulthood and you don't want to feel like you're missing out on experiences because you don't have anyone to share them with at that time.

I'm sure you will make friends in your new work at at uni when you go back. Just need to put yourself out there and build connections with people. If you're single maybe try going on a few dates. You could potientally find your best friend within a partnership and/or join their friend group.

Other ways you can make friends that I can think of is joining a hobby class, try bumble friend version, go out yourself to cafe, a comedy show or bar etc. (I wouldn't recommend night things unless you know you'd be safe for sure but I did it once when my friend ditched me and made friends while out), if you're into traveling, a lot of solo travellers make life long friends with other solos so that could be an option.

If you're really lonely maybe try making friends online that you can talk to daily/video call. It's not ideal but it's something. All my brother's close friends are online and he talks to them everyday for hours, plays games and stuff.

I wish you the best and really hope things work out for you!
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry, that sounds tough. You're not alone. I don't have many friends, the ones I have I seldom hang out with. I can understand the feeling of lacking that connection and the fear of missing out on life. The best thing I did for myself was teach myself how to enjoy my own company and value my own non-shared experiences. Mostly I like hiking or traveling when I can which excites. For you that could be practising going places in the city by yourself like to the cinema for example.

I'm not saying be a loner forever it's just a solution as making friends is hard in adulthood and you don't want to feel like you're missing out on experiences because you don't have anyone to share them with at that time.

I'm sure you will make friends in your new work at at uni when you go back. Just need to put yourself out there and build connections with people. If you're single maybe try going on a few dates. You could potientally find your best friend within a partnership and/or join their friend group.

Other ways you can make friends that I can think of is joining a hobby class, try bumble friend version, go out yourself to cafe, a comedy show or bar etc. (I wouldn't recommend night things unless you know you'd be safe for sure but I did it once when my friend ditched me and made friends while out), if you're into traveling, a lot of solo travellers make life long friends with other solos so that could be an option.

If you're really lonely maybe try making friends online that you can talk to daily/video call. It's not ideal but it's something. All my brother's close friends are online and he talks to them everyday for hours, plays games and stuff.

I wish you the best and really hope things work out for you!


Thank you for writing such a detailed and thoughtful reply :smile:

I have been trying to find joy in doing things by myself and sometimes it works- not quite there yet though. I’ll keep trying, and yeah making friends in adulthood is tougher than i thought which is why i suppose i feel more emotional about losing touch with friends. My family in general are very friendless which I don’t like, parents are content with their own company.

thanks again, hope things work out well for you too!

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