Going to the same uni as my ex

So basically, my ex started uni in September at the same university I'm going to be attending this September. After taking a gap year I have realised I do want to go to that university as I've got an offer in which I cannot refuse for it.
For the past year since we broke up, me and my ex have been having sex non-stop. I'll go and visit him at uni and what not. Recently, we have called it off as I have explained all of my feelings towards him and he wasn't happy about it all. He's said he can't be friends with me because it's too much.
I can't help but feel I'm making a huge mistake of going to the same uni as him even though we won't be doing the same course nor living anywhere near each other. I just fear the same thing is going to happen which has been happening for the past year. At the same time, I'm excited to move out and make a fresh start and hopefully have an amazing time there.
Has anyone got any advice on whether or not this is a good idea? I feel like he's held me down for the past year and I don't want it to happen anymore.

Reply 1

Lollypop0

5

Forget he is there. I don't know which uni you are going too but it is probably big. Make new friends and don't talk to him. You will regret not going if you refuse the offer.

Reply 2

Man.bear.pig

2

It's...a pretty big place. Sod him. You probably won't even notice him and if you do, there have been way more awkward of situations. Don't turn down a good thing for yourself because of someone else who should be so insignificant.

Reply 3

Tone Loc

5

You shouldn't consider turning down the offer just because he's there. If you like the uni and you like the course, then go for it. You'll meet so many new people at uni and I'm sure you'll have sex with loads and loads of guys as all girls do at uni, you'll forget his name after freshers' week. It's really not a big deal. But why can't you carry on seeing him anyway, sounds like you've got a good thing going, it doesn't have to end.

Reply 4

Wahrheit

18

As people have said, you'd regret it if you didn't go. Imagine being 60, married (to somebody else) with kids and grandkids (or doing whatever, I'm generalising) and thinking '..I turned out the opportunity to have the time of my life because of THAT GUY?!!!'

You might see him once and have an awkward nod. That's pretty much the worst thing that could happen compared with potentially years of regret.

Reply 5

username1060389

3

Tbh you probably won't see him unless you make an effort to. I go to the same uni as my friend's bf, my ex best friend and a few people I know from home, and don't bump into them :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

username1863805

12

How big is this uni? Because you can definitely avoid him and hope you don't bump into each other. It's not that big a deal tbh. What do think happens with those students who meet at uni and enter into a situation like yours? We don't just quit uni because we're afraid of crossing paths again. Sure, it's awkward when it happens, and you just have to be as smart as you can be about it. Make the right decisions and keep hoping you'll make the right decisions. But your university place is more important. Good luck, x

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Being in the same Uni as an ex is awkward as **** ... from experience.

It was a bomb of a break up which involved almost everyone from my accommodation.

After that we used to coincidently bump into each other every other day. Pretty sure it was on purpose from her part.

Anyway, it's a really bad idea to go to the same Uni as an ex! So, unless you really can't avoid it, choose another Uni.

Reply 8

username1623349

13

Original post by Anonymous

Being in the same Uni as an ex is awkward as **** ... from experience.

It was a bomb of a break up which involved almost everyone from my accommodation.

After that we used to coincidently bump into each other every other day. Pretty sure it was on purpose from her part.

Anyway, it's a really bad idea to go to the same Uni as an ex! So, unless you really can't avoid it, choose another Uni.

I don't agree with this advice. Don't give up your dream university just because you're worried you'll bump into your ex. And this example from anonymous is one person's experience, so don't choose based just on that. Just because anonymous thinks it's 'awkward', doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same for you. And even if it is, if you're mature you can learn to be civil and even friendly with an ex, so it won't be awkward for long

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by georgiaswift

I don't agree with this advice. Don't give up your dream university just because you're worried you'll bump into your ex. And this example from anonymous is one person's experience, so don't choose based just on that. Just because anonymous thinks it's 'awkward', doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same for you. And even if it is, if you're mature you can learn to be civil and even friendly with an ex, so it won't be awkward for long

If she's sorry worried it will, it probably will :wink:

Even the maturest of people will still feel awkward around their exes.

Reply 10

username1623349

13

Original post by Anonymous

If she's sorry worried it will, it probably will :wink:

Even the maturest of people will still feel awkward around their exes.

I was worried it would be with my exes, but I'm mature enough to chat to them and ask how they are etc, and because of that it's not awkward to talk to any of them and it's not awkward when I see them around or with someone else

Reply 11

username1623349

13

Original post by Anonymous

If she's sorry worried it will, it probably will :wink:

Even the maturest of people will still feel awkward around their exes.

And also, you genuinely believe that she should give up her dream university just in case she feels awkward when she sees a boy she dated? Don't you see how ridiculous that sounds?

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Original post by georgiaswift

I was worried it would be with my exes, but I'm mature enough to chat to them and ask how they are etc, and because of that it's not awkward to talk to any of them and it's not awkward when I see them around or with someone else

What a coincidence!

Whether you're able to speak "normally" or not with an ex doesn't determine how mature you are lol ... :rolleyes:

Original post by georgiaswift

And also, you genuinely believe that she should give up her dream university just in case she feels awkward when she sees a boy she dated? Don't you see how ridiculous that sounds?

As far as I know, she's having doubts about her University choice anyway ... and I see no mention of it being her "dream" university.

I said "unless she can't avoid (going to that university)". I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to run the risk of going there only to finding herself in a (possible) compromising position.

Not staying at the University I was attending last year was the one of the greatest decision of my life. I can't imagine where I'd be if I had stayed. I got away from a very, very sour/bitter/salty ex and a couple of bullies.

OP, ultimately the choice is yours. You really shouldn't take anyone's opinion into consideration really ... it can go one of two ways:

- Either you choose to go to the University your ex is at regardless that he is there and you do everything to avoid him.

OR

- You choose to go somewhere else.

Going to the same uni as my ex

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