Guy i'm seeing leaving to travel. Worried about future. . .

So i met this guy earlier in the year and we were seeing each other for a couple of months. We developed strong feelings for each other but we couldn't get together properly due to him leaving to travel. This was organised before he met me and we decided for both of our sake we'd put us on hold and "see what happens". He's gone away for a year, i'm in my final year at uni and, like all last years, am panicking for what to do next with my life etc. You know, the inevitable real life and what not! I would love to stay in my uni city and see how things go when he's back, but it's a risk. Not only money/job wise but, what if things change when he's away? What if what we had dissolves? We weren't seeing each other that long so its a gamble if i stay . . . but i do really feel he's worth it. If i move back home and we decide to try again, am i setting myself up for a failure?

Has anyone been in a similar position or have any wise words? Head is blagged!!!

Reply 1

username1623349

13

The fact that he's put it on hold rather than giving long distance a go shows he can't really be that serious about you. When my boyfriend went travelling around New Zealand (after three months of being together) we did it long distance and came out stronger on the other side.

You've said yourself that staying in your home city isn't good for money or job prospects, and you acknowledge that things are likely to change in a year.

As he's put things on hold you don't owe him anything, so do what's best for you and focus on yourself. If in a year you still like him then you could meet up and see how things go. But for now you're single and under no obligation to do anything for him, so you do you! :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

So i met this guy earlier in the year and we were seeing each other for a couple of months. We developed strong feelings for each other but we couldn't get together properly due to him leaving to travel. This was organised before he met me and we decided for both of our sake we'd put us on hold and "see what happens". He's gone away for a year, i'm in my final year at uni and, like all last years, am panicking for what to do next with my life etc. You know, the inevitable real life and what not! I would love to stay in my uni city and see how things go when he's back, but it's a risk. Not only money/job wise but, what if things change when he's away? What if what we had dissolves? We weren't seeing each other that long so its a gamble if i stay . . . but i do really feel he's worth it. If i move back home and we decide to try again, am i setting myself up for a failure?

Has anyone been in a similar position or have any wise words? Head is blagged!!!

I was only seeing a guy for a couple months before he left as he had made plans before we met to study abroad. He was there for about 6 months and i couldnt afford to/didnt have any time off to visit so i was scared things wouldnt be the same when he returned.. the distance only made us closer and now weve been together for over a year! I cant say it will be the same for everyone and of course your guy is leaving for twice the amount of time that mine did.. all i can say is distance will make or break you, we agreed we wouldnt make anything official or put any pressure on things because he was leaving so i wouldnt necessarily say that him agreeing to that means he isnt interested in a long term commitment but be wary, a lot can happen in a year so focus on your last year at uni, do what you want to do and if he comes home to you then i wish you both the biggest amount of happiness.. and if he doesnt then atleast you didnt waste the year waiting for him. Good luck whatever you decide :smile:

Reply 3

cfholdie

Life throws funny things at you.. I'm going through something similar! The fact that he's asking to try long distance and not finish is a positive and shows he must see a future.

A year may seem like a long time but in the grand scheme of things you'll be amazed how quickly time passes. My advice to you would be to give it a go - if you can find a job you enjoy after you finish uni and are able to stay in the city, go for it!! If things do go pear shaped at least you can say you gave it your best shot.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 4

doodle_333

19

if you decide you want to be in that city when he comes back you can look at moving, but for now he hasn't changed anything for you, he hasn't even committed to long distance... so you need to do what's right for you long term as well and go to wherever would make sense if he wasn't an issue

Reply 5

LonelyDemon

17

This is exactly what's happened to me. I'm planning to go to do a graduate placement in France, I was living in my university town after I graduated in September but this placement came up to go off in 2 months so I had to go back to my hometown just before Christmas for money sake. I've helped out a good female friend get hers who I'm good friends with but never went there with not to ruin the friendship, I'm aware she has feelings for me, I also was seeing another girl that I was more sexual with who is in her last year of uni so I had to tell the both of not get too attached to me, see as a friend for now in case something happens when I'm in France and not to upset them.

As for yours I suggest just be friends for now, chat to him online asking if he's okay, could even ask if you visit him if you're free.

Guy i'm seeing leaving to travel. Worried about future. . .

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