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Feel kinda down..

Hey guys

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong forum thing, but feel like I need to vent a bit (and need some advice/tips) :redface:

Basically I've always been shy, which quite honestly I really, really don't like :frown:

it has never really bothered me as 1. I have friends 2. I have a job and am at uni & 3. I'm currently seeing someone, but recently it has been really like properly been bothering me. Like I feel like I can't speak to anyone about it because I feel stupid and fear that no one will understand (sounds silly I know :frown:

) because people I know don't seem shy at all, and I've been trying for years to stop being shy but I think I have improved over the years but still shy (if that makes any sense?)

But what has bothered me most about my shyness (I know this is gonna sound really stupid and pathetic so do apologise) is that I can never seem to ask the guy I'm seeing if he wants to do anything with me, it's always him asking. I feel ridiculously guilty about it and I think part of the reason is that he drives, and I'm learning to but have my test quite soon, and I feel bad for not being able to drive right now so even if I weren't shy and ask first, I think what I'd have in mind for what to do I'd probably be suggesting to do something somewhere in the town we live in as I feel bad for him always driving, so this may change when I pass my test and have a car (I would probably feel a lot better and ask if we could do something together).

So really I'm just looking for some tips/advice on how to stop this silliness really, as I'm not quite sure what to do.

Sorry for rambling on for quite a bit, I feel like an idiot for posting this but it's been bothering me for quite a while now, and I really dislike being shy.

And thanks for taking your time to read this (if you do read this that is :redface:

)

Reply 1

RelucBeam

That is who you are. Embrace it. After all, someone else is willing to accept it.

If you do want to change this, as you become more comfortable with them you'll feel more at ease. Also, the method to 'break free' is to summon the courage and do it once. Then you'll realise its not as daunting as it seems. Then you'll do it again and again.

Reply 2

Smallmatter

Well the good news is is that you have friends and a job and a partner so your level of shyness hasn't befriended social phobia. I wouldn't suggest embracing your shyness as it is clearly something you want to be rid of. It seems to me that you are a person who cares about others more than yourself. You must have at least 2 older siblings? It may seem odd but talking to yourself in the mirror can raise self confidence. Experiencing a hard time in school can dilute one's confidence but your a woman now, strong and in control of your future. Experiment being outside of your comfort zone more and more and eventually you'll be comfortable everywhere with everyone. Don't care what people think. You are the most important person in your life and when you start to see that those around you will too. God bless you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by RelucBeam

Ah ok, thank you :redface:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

[QUOTE=Smallmatter;67224090]Well the good news is is that you have friends and a job and a partner so your level of shyness hasn't befriended social phobia. I wouldn't suggest embracing your shyness as it is clearly something you want to be rid of. It seems to me that you are a person who cares about others more than yourself. You must have at least 2 older siblings? It may seem odd but talking to yourself in the mirror can raise self confidence. Experiencing a hard time in school can dilute one's confidence but your a woman now, strong and in control of your future. Experiment being outside of your comfort zone more and more and eventually you'll be comfortable everywhere with everyone. Don't care what people think. You are the most important person in your life and when you start to see that those around you will too. God bless you.

Thanks :redface:

! And I do have 2 siblings, but one is older, and the other is younger than me. Yeah I'll give that a go, talking to myself in the mirror :colondollar:

and I think that's probably part of the cause of my shyness, when I was in secondary school, there were some people who I never particularly got on with -.- but I've put it behind me because well there's no point in thinking of the past if that makes sense :redface:

! Yeah you're right with experimenting outside of my comfort zone, just have to work out where to start :redface:

thank you

Reply 5

Smallmatter

Trial and error. You'll be fine. Believe in yourself and your goals. There is a book called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield i think you should read. Its not religious, it teaches us about ourselves. Good luck and remember that this life is all about you first.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

[QUOTE=Smallmatter;67231358]Trial and error. You'll be fine. Believe in yourself and your goals. There is a book called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield i think you should read. Its not religious, it teaches us about ourselves. Good luck and remember that this life is all about you first.

Thank you :smile:

! Ah ok, I'll have a look :redface:

, thanks again :smile: