My parents want me to go to Cambridge...

I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people, so I wanted to create a place where you could post your feelings and stories.

So I got good grades at GCSE and AS level- good enough that my parents think I should consider applying to Oxbridge. At the beginning I wanted to apply for myself; I thought that I should at least try and that it would be an amazing experience to go there.
Ever since going to the open day for Cambridge, my dad mentions me being a 'future cambridge girl' nearly every single day, and my grandma says that she will do everything she can to get me into Cambridge. My mum just said to me that I don't have much time for building up my cambridge application.

All these comments that are made daily, the continual reminders that I should go to this university has put me under more and more pressure to please my family. I'm starting to feel as if it isn't good enough that I get good a levels, go to university and get a degree, and that my parents will be disappointed if I go anywhere else. It feels as if they aren't encouraging me, instead they just keep pushing me.
I get stressed and anxious, sometimes finding these conversations frustrating and even annoying, because I realise this will keep going, and my family hasn't taken my feelings into consideration. On top of all the stress that is associated with the Oxbridge application I have to experience the way my family treats the matter.

Over time, I feel more and more like I don't want to go to Oxbridge any more because I don't think I will be happy there or that it will suit me, partly because of how much I feel like my parents are relying on me to go there.

I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people, so I wanted to create a place where you could post your feelings and stories.

So I got good grades at GCSE and AS level- good enough that my parents think I should consider applying to Oxbridge. At the beginning I wanted to apply for myself; I thought that I should at least try and that it would be an amazing experience to go there.
Ever since going to the open day for Cambridge, my dad mentions me being a 'future cambridge girl' nearly every single day, and my grandma says that she will do everything she can to get me into Cambridge. My mum just said to me that I don't have much time for building up my cambridge application.

All these comments that are made daily, the continual reminders that I should go to this university has put me under more and more pressure to please my family. I'm starting to feel as if it isn't good enough that I get good a levels, go to university and get a degree, and that my parents will be disappointed if I go anywhere else. It feels as if they aren't encouraging me, instead they just keep pushing me.
I get stressed and anxious, sometimes finding these conversations frustrating and even annoying, because I realise this will keep going, and my family hasn't taken my feelings into consideration. On top of all the stress that is associated with the Oxbridge application I have to experience the way my family treats the matter.

Over time, I feel more and more like I don't want to go to Oxbridge any more because I don't think I will be happy there or that it will suit me, partly because of how much I feel like my parents are relying on me to go there.

I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people, so I wanted to create a place where you could post your feelings and stories.

So I got good grades at GCSE and AS level- good enough that my parents think I should consider applying to Oxbridge. At the beginning I wanted to apply for myself; I thought that I should at least try and that it would be an amazing experience to go there.
Ever since going to the open day for Cambridge, my dad mentions me being a 'future cambridge girl' nearly every single day, and my grandma says that she will do everything she can to get me into Cambridge. My mum just said to me that I don't have much time for building up my cambridge application.

All these comments that are made daily, the continual reminders that I should go to this university has put me under more and more pressure to please my family. I'm starting to feel as if it isn't good enough that I get good a levels, go to university and get a degree, and that my parents will be disappointed if I go anywhere else. It feels as if they aren't encouraging me, instead they just keep pushing me.
I get stressed and anxious, sometimes finding these conversations frustrating and even annoying, because I realise this will keep going, and my family hasn't taken my feelings into consideration. On top of all the stress that is associated with the Oxbridge application I have to experience the way my family treats the matter.

Over time, I feel more and more like I don't want to go to Oxbridge any more because I don't think I will be happy there or that it will suit me, partly because of how much I feel like my parents are relying on me to go there.

I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people, so I wanted to create a place where you could post your feelings and stories.

So I got good grades at GCSE and AS level- good enough that my parents think I should consider applying to Oxbridge. At the beginning I wanted to apply for myself; I thought that I should at least try and that it would be an amazing experience to go there.
Ever since going to the open day for Cambridge, my dad mentions me being a 'future cambridge girl' nearly every single day, and my grandma says that she will do everything she can to get me into Cambridge. My mum just said to me that I don't have much time for building up my cambridge application.

All these comments that are made daily, the continual reminders that I should go to this university has put me under more and more pressure to please my family. I'm starting to feel as if it isn't good enough that I get good a levels, go to university and get a degree, and that my parents will be disappointed if I go anywhere else. It feels as if they aren't encouraging me, instead they just keep pushing me.
I get stressed and anxious, sometimes finding these conversations frustrating and even annoying, because I realise this will keep going, and my family hasn't taken my feelings into consideration. On top of all the stress that is associated with the Oxbridge application I have to experience the way my family treats the matter.

Over time, I feel more and more like I don't want to go to Oxbridge any more because I don't think I will be happy there or that it will suit me, partly because of how much I feel like my parents are relying on me to go there.

I've been in this position myself for the past two years. I was never particularly interested in going to Cambridge and my parents' insistence that I apply just made me less keen... However, I didn't have a 5th choice for my UCAS application and figured I might as well do it, to keep them happy and to just see if I could get in. When I went for my interview (I hadn't bothered with the open days), I really really liked it, and suddenly I was taking it seriously and wanted to go. My parents were still harassing me about it (driving me mad!) and I am notoriously stubborn and so pretended like I wasn't invested. I got an offer, made it my firm, sat my A Level exams.... and was convinced I had flopped it and missed my offer. But due to my past academic record, no one in my family believed me when I said I didn't think I had made the grades. It was only once I actually sat down with my mum and dad and told them how much it bothered me that they stopped. It seems cliche, but truly the key to 90% of these sort of problems is to just talk to your parents and tell them you are uncomfortable. The vast majority of parents, if they care about you, will listen to you and change their ways.

In the end, I did manage to meet my offer, and now I'm happy to be going despite my past hesitance. Only apply/go if YOU genuinely want to be there - don't let your parents pressure you. If you don't want to go, that is YOUR decision and at the end of the day it is YOU who fills out your UCAS application and chooses which unis to apply to.

As a parent myself I’m sure the intentions are good bit and this is a big but it’s not your parents going to the uni. It’s you. I had the same at senior school with both my kids. Many of their friends parents were picking the school for them. I had many a suggested word what again it’s not us parents going. You have to love the place you go. Feel it’s right for you and what YOU want. I am not saying they are wrong to suggest Cambridge. It has so many vendors for us and our kids both adore it and one is going this Oct and the other wants to apply for 2022. But it was their decision. Not mine or their Mums.

So take the advice but make your own decision but please visit the colleges and other Unis and so you can see why type of uni and course you want.

Hi, thanks for the great advice! But this thread is 3 years old

Firstly, he is predicted top grades, therefore, depending on his course, there should be an abundance of universities who would be delighted to have him on board.
I would encourage him quite strongly to visit both Oxford and Cambridge, and then see how he feels. I did not get a good feel from Oxford, but did from Cambridge (and regret applying to Oxford under pressure from my mother in particular).
It sounds like he is put off by the application process. If he could spare one of his 5 choices for Oxbridge, then I would strongly advise it. Other universities will see he has applied there, and may look favourably on him.
I would emphasise that he is not obliged to follow up on his Oxbridge application if he makes one, and should not be put under any pressure to follow up, or attend the university once he had made an educated choice not to.
By all means have the discussion as to why he is not keen, if this turns out to be the case, but respect his decision once reasons have been identified.
I made the mistake of taking parental advice, and believe to this day I knew best.
The other piece of advice I would give is to make sure he applies to a university which will make him a comfortable offer (well below the A*s) so that he has something to fall back on.

Further to this, I would say if he is not onboard with his application, he will not perform as well during the process.

I know this is an old thread but I am a parent who is in the same situation. I have a son who is predicted A* at A Level but says that he doesn't want to apply for Oxbridge. He hasn't even visited the universities but said the application for Oxbridge is too difficult and a long process. Do you think it is unreasonable for us to want him to give it a go by putting in an application and visiting these places before completely ruling them out. Also, if you can put 5 choices on the application what harm is there in putting Oxbridge as 1 of them. We really feel that him just ruling it out he may regret it at a later date but at least if he gives it a go there will be no regret.

I know this is an old thread but I am a parent who is in the same situation. I have a son who is predicted A* at A Level but says that he doesn't want to apply for Oxbridge. He hasn't even visited the universities but said the application for Oxbridge is too difficult and a long process. Do you think it is unreasonable for us to want him to give it a go by putting in an application and visiting these places before completely ruling them out. Also, if you can put 5 choices on the application what harm is there in putting Oxbridge as 1 of them. We really feel that him just ruling it out he may regret it at a later date but at least if he gives it a go there will be no regret.

I would encourage him quite strongly to visit both Oxford and Cambridge, and then see how he feels.