The Student Room Group

Worried about second year house

Hi, basically I go to the University of Lincoln, and I thought I was getting along with both my flat and my neighbors who I go out with often. Because of this i just assumed I was living with them. And told them that I wanted to be living with them and they said this was fine. But a few days ago one of the boys I was living with said that I can't live with them anymore because there are too many people in the house. But then I'm thinking why are you just kicking me out of the house and keeping everyone else. Couldn't we just split into two different houses instead of kicking out just because apparently there's no more space.

I am a really paranoid person so obviously, this made me think that they probably don't like me as much as I like them, or maybe I'm doing something that they don't like so they don't want to live with me next year. Not going to lie it made me feel like sh*t and I've been crying a lot, cause now I feel like crap every time they mention the house and living together next year.

To make things worst I've actually got two of my friends from home at the same uni, but one of them is planning to live in student accommodation again (which is not an option for me as its too expensive) and the other is saying that she is living with her flat again. So obviously now I'm panicking trying to think who I'm going to live with.

I've only been here for a month and I actually was enjoying it here, but now I just want to go home and am considering maybe transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home. Because I feel like I'm living and going out with people who don't actually like me.
Have you thought about questioning him in a non confrontational way? Ask him why you, why not someone else, if there's anything specific you have done and etc. And also, it's still October. You will find close friends and whatnot that you can live with next year, so don't worry. If you don't, then you can move at the end of the year?
Reply 2
Honestly, given how close to the beginning of the year it is, I imagine that most of the plans which people make now for next year won't actually become a reality, particularly if you've all just started uni without knowing many people. You'll likely all have different friendship groups by the end of the year, and there's no telling what fallings out or other issues might occur between people who are currently planning to live together next year.

That being said, you do have to live with these people for the rest of this year, so it's not going to be a great experience for you if you're worried that they don't like you. I would talk calmly to the person in the group you get on best with, and ask them whether there was a particular reason why you were the one who was taken off the list. Make sure you speak to them face to face, because people are a lot less likely to become confrontational in person, and there's much less chance that they'll misinterpret what you're saying as being angry or aggressive (since you can't tell someone's tone over text).
Reply 3
Original post by Confuseeed
Have you thought about questioning him in a non confrontational way? Ask him why you, why not someone else, if there's anything specific you have done and etc. And also, it's still October. You will find close friends and whatnot that you can live with next year, so don't worry. If you don't, then you can move at the end of the year?


Yeah i might ask him about it, i know it's early to even be thinking about houses, i wasn't even thinking about it yet but then they all kept bringing it up and now that I know that I can't join them It's making me really worried thinking that I won't have anywhere to stay next year.

I feel like transferring is a bit of an overreaction, i'm considering getting a job and saving so I can live in student accommodation again next year if worse comes to worse and I can't find anyone to live with.
Reply 4
Original post by Beth_H
Honestly, given how close to the beginning of the year it is, I imagine that most of the plans which people make now for next year won't actually become a reality, particularly if you've all just started uni without knowing many people. You'll likely all have different friendship groups by the end of the year, and there's no telling what fallings out or other issues might occur between people who are currently planning to live together next year.

That being said, you do have to live with these people for the rest of this year, so it's not going to be a great experience for you if you're worried that they don't like you. I would talk calmly to the person in the group you get on best with, and ask them whether there was a particular reason why you were the one who was taken off the list. Make sure you speak to them face to face, because people are a lot less likely to become confrontational in person, and there's much less chance that they'll misinterpret what you're saying as being angry or aggressive (since you can't tell someone's tone over text).


What's sad is that the guy who told me I couldn't live with them anymore was the person in my flat I thought I was closest with. I will try and talk to him face to face and they have to realise that obviously, i'm going to feel upset and paranoid especially because I was the only person out of the two flats who was left out. Hopefully everything turns out well, I wasn't even thinking about houses for next year and only started freaking out when I realised they were already planning and I had no where to go. My friends on my course are all planning to live with their flats again so i'd feel awkward asking them if I could bum with them.
Reply 5
Original post by Suhpav
Hi, basically I go to the University of Lincoln, and I thought I was getting along with both my flat and my neighbors who I go out with often. Because of this i just assumed I was living with them. And told them that I wanted to be living with them and they said this was fine. But a few days ago one of the boys I was living with said that I can't live with them anymore because there are too many people in the house. But then I'm thinking why are you just kicking me out of the house and keeping everyone else. Couldn't we just split into two different houses instead of kicking out just because apparently there's no more space.

I am a really paranoid person so obviously, this made me think that they probably don't like me as much as I like them, or maybe I'm doing something that they don't like so they don't want to live with me next year. Not going to lie it made me feel like sh*t and I've been crying a lot, cause now I feel like crap every time they mention the house and living together next year.

To make things worst I've actually got two of my friends from home at the same uni, but one of them is planning to live in student accommodation again (which is not an option for me as its too expensive) and the other is saying that she is living with her flat again. So obviously now I'm panicking trying to think who I'm going to live with.

I've only been here for a month and I actually was enjoying it here, but now I just want to go home and am considering maybe transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home. Because I feel like I'm living and going out with people who don't actually like me.

Hey I was wondering In a situation like this if you are part of any societies/ would you be able to live with any coursemates at all? Most people who cannot live with flat mates would join coursemates or others that they had met. Understandably you may not know them as well but if Lincoln is anything like Southampton there will still be houses available later in the year so you would have time to get to know other people.

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