For me if I pick a bad guy I ignore all the bad bits and focus on the good parts and believe that I can 'make them a better person' hence, that always comes back to bite me on the bum so you're definitely not alone in that sense although I've never been cheated on I fell for a guy at the start of the year and we were talking, messaging explicitly and it turns out he had a long distance girlfriend for the duration - she's now living with him and she'll have no idea what he's really like... sucks.

Reply 105

Lord Jon

21

Okay so first of all- this whole "nice guy vs. bad boy" thing is a load of nonsense. It's a bit of an immature outlook on things and tbh if that's how you roll maybe you aren't ready for anything that goes beyond casual sex.

Secondly: At this point just leave the other guy alone tbh, you're just going to waste his time...

Reply 106

Stychomythia

13

Original post by Anonymous

" I've been feeling really guilty about this recently."

" I feel like I might have led him on a bit."

"I feel guilty because the other "nice guy" has wasted a lot of time and effort on me".

You seem to be feeling a lot of guilt. But the reality is that you are not thinking about your own happiness. You know these 'experienced' guys will make you unhappy - but you still fall for them.

This is a cycle: unhappiness followed by guilt with some frantic attraction added which speeds up the cycle. You will not get the guys you deserve until you break this cycle - so my advice is to see a therapist or a relationship counsellor. Does your Uni have one?

Reply 107

unknown_usr

13

Nice guys are just the guys you usually go for but they know how to make a facade.

Reply 108

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lord Jon

Okay so first of all- this whole "nice guy vs. bad boy" thing is a load of nonsense. It's a bit of an immature outlook on things and tbh if that's how you roll maybe you aren't ready for anything that goes beyond casual sex.

Secondly: At this point just leave the other guy alone tbh, you're just going to waste his time...

I have left him alone now

Reply 109

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Babadiboo

You're a *****

Wanna hook up?

No.

Reply 110

Anonymous #11

>goes after chad

>is suprised chad cheats on you

maybe go for socially awkward guys instead of chads? if you dont like someone because they are ""ugly"" or ""shy"" then you are contributing to the reason why they stay that way.

Reply 111

Guy_Specs

11

Original post by Anonymous

I've always thought I chose guys who had a good personality and were good looking and popular, but it seems like I always go for boys who have bad rep as opposed to the nice guys I keep strictly as friends. I don't understand why though? When I first meet them it's like I choose to ignore how they've treated girls in the past and continue to date them. I think I choose these guys over nice boys because I don't generally feel a strong physical attraction to "nice boys" but I've been feeling really guilty about this recently.

I've been in some bad relationships, the last few guys I dated started off as perfect boyfriends but ended up cheating or lying to me, and in some cases worse. And through my last relationship and break up one of my guy friends has been there for me like all the time, he ended up falling for me and I feel like I might have led him on a bit.

I did think I liked him but the more I think about it I don't think I really did because all I saw in him was personality and nothing else, he also seems v inexperienced which put me off as I'm used to dating guys who are older than me (uni age). I've just starting seeing a new guy and I feel guilty because the other "nice guy" has wasted a lot of time and effort on me, I didn't mean to lead him and now idk what to do.

This...

It just further proves that many women are sadomasochists. Despite you wanting a nice guy to provide you with the foundations to have children, you'd rather date the douche in the realistic hope that you can tame and change him.

Reply 112

Anonymous #11

Original post by Guy_Specs

This...

It just further proves that many women are sadomasochists. Despite you wanting a nice guy to provide you with the foundations to have children, you'd rather date the douche in the realistic hope that you can tame and change him.

No, its moral decadence due to the hookup culture being promoted, conservative values being shunned and the rise of social media. I want to be hopeful but I don't see how this degeneracy can be fixed.

Reply 113

Guy_Specs

11

Original post by Anonymous

No, its moral decadence due to the hookup culture being promoted, conservative values being shunned and the rise of social media. I want to be hopeful but I don't see how this degeneracy can be fixed.

But what are you doing?

Are you holding traditional conservative values (which can widely interpreted), or just succumbing to modernity and blaming a lack of will power?

Reply 114

SirMilkSheikh

11

Original post by Anonymous

No, its moral decadence due to the hookup culture being promoted, conservative values being shunned and the rise of social media. I want to be hopeful but I don't see how this degeneracy can be fixed.

It won’t be fixed. The good old days are never coming back. You can’t reverse feminism, technology, and the female psyche. Time to adapt and move on.

Reply 115

Anonymous #11

Original post by Guy_Specs

But what are you doing?

Are you holding traditional conservative values (which can widely interpreted), or just succumbing to modernity and blaming a lack of will power?

Yes I do hold traditional conservative values and viewpoints. I live in a very progressive and that doesn't bode very well, been called a lot of bad things. But at least im sticking what I believe, what are you doing?

Will power isn't going to reverse this permament damage caused to society. Women now date for social status, sex, money or for some other reasonS that benefit them alone. No longer will a woman approach a shy person or someone who isn't atleast a 7/10 because they can find better, more desperate people on tinder or whatever.

Reply 116

abc_123_

16

Original post by Anonymous

....

I've always done that too :sad:

... I don't realise when I'm flirting with a guy or when they're flirting with me so I tend to lead them on a little.

I guess, bad guys are more fun because they're dangerous and experienced ... but recently I've found a guy who's really nice but very exciting too :blush:

Think it just takes the right nice guy to break the habit xx

Reply 117

Anonymous #11

Original post by abc_123_

I've always done that too :sad:

... I don't realise when I'm flirting with a guy or when they're flirting with me so I tend to lead them on a little.

I guess, bad guys are more fun because they're dangerous and experienced ... but recently I've found a guy who's really nice but very exciting too :blush:

Think it just takes the right nice guy to break the habit xx

no it takes a decent human being to love someone for the qualities that truely matter instead of going after "bad guys"

Reply 118

abc_123_

16

Original post by Anonymous

no it takes a decent human being to love someone for the qualities that truely matter instead of going after "bad guys"

When I love someone I love them for the qualities that matter ... I wouldn't love someone because they're a "bad guy", but I might be initially drawn to them because of that. That doesn't make me not a "decent human being"

I never go for the "nice guy"

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