Not sure about this male friend

I have this male friend who seems to have a need to update me on the little thing such as if he's going to nap, bathing etc.

I've asked him why I need to know and he says that it is a habit it has but I'm not entirely sure if that is the case. Plus I am in a relationship and it looks weird for a guy to update me on his daily activities other than my partner. It is creating a bit of suspicion on how close we are to my partner.

He also messages me with greets like "hello dear" and has called me babe from time to time.

He's recently been out of a relationship and I've just been there to help him as a friend and have made my intentions known.

What should I do?

Reply 1

Tiger Rag

22

Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Reply 2

carrotstar

21

Original post by Anonymous

I have this male friend who seems to have a need to update me on the little thing such as if he's going to nap, bathing etc.

I've asked him why I need to know and he says that it is a habit it has but I'm not entirely sure if that is the case. Plus I am in a relationship and it looks weird for a guy to update me on his daily activities other than my partner. It is creating a bit of suspicion on how close we are to my partner.

He also messages me with greets like "hello dear" and has called me babe from time to time.

He's recently been out of a relationship and I've just been there to help him as a friend and have made my intentions known.

What should I do?

Do you reply to everything he sends? If so, then stop replying to everything. He can't expect you be "on call" all the time. Maybe say something like "I feel like this is a bit OTT because you text me more than my partner does which is weird".

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by carrotstar

Do you reply to everything he sends? If so, then stop replying to everything. He can't expect you be "on call" all the time. Maybe say something like "I feel like this is a bit OTT because you text me more than my partner does which is weird".

I've tried that and even ignored him for a week + and asked why I need to know? But it seems like it is really a habit he has so it's been tricky for him to actually stop or reduce it.

But I hear you

Reply 4

LionMaster

3

He sounds like your father

Reply 5

carrotstar

21

Original post by Anonymous

I've tried that and even ignored him for a week + and asked why I need to know? But it seems like it is really a habit he has so it's been tricky for him to actually stop or reduce it.

But I hear you

Depending on how much it really does annoy you, perhaps blocking them temporarily on whatever app they contact you on might make a point? If you warn them in advance, for example say "I've tried to get across how much you message me isn't appropriate, so I'm going to block you for a week to try and help you get out of the habit" so that they don't take it the wrong way.
You can always "unblock" them later on.

It sounds like you need to be a little more blunt with them to get the message across (or not, as the case may be haha).

Reply 6

44cugglebear

5

REd FLAg

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I would tell him that you feel uncomfortable with his constant explanation of his entire day. And quite frankly it’s creepy, you no longer wish to disguss anything with him and to leave you alone. If he doesn’t then tell him his being a borderline stalker.

Reply 7

sagqueen2001

7

Original post by Anonymous

I've tried that and even ignored him for a week + and asked why I need to know? But it seems like it is really a habit he has so it's been tricky for him to actually stop or reduce it.

But I hear you

Oh god try not to let him get too attached to you- is his name Ryan by any chance?