The Student Room Group

I find it difficult believing that pure friendship exists between a man and a woman

If a man has more female than male friends and hangs out with them every week, it is weird.

If a woman has more male than female friends and hangs out with them every week, it is also weird.

If you disagree, I hope you would not mind providing an in-depth analysis.
Reply 1
Guess I'm weird then.

Not sure what sort of in-depth analysis you want. I tend to find it easier to platonically bond with women.
Reply 2
It can exist, but I think it only works when the man and woman aren't physically attracted to each other.
I mean you only need to know the difference between platonic and romantic relationships. After that you don’t really count the ratio of friendships you have between genders 😭🤣
Yeahhhh because gay men and women don't exist..... /s

Seriously what the **** :rofl:

Someone needs to stop watching When Harry Met Sally. God, these people!!
Original post by Gazpacho.
Guess I'm weird then.
Not sure what sort of in-depth analysis you want. I tend to find it easier to platonically bond with women.

How to satisfy that they are merely platonic?
Original post by Anonymous #2
Yeahhhh because gay men and women don't exist..... /s
Seriously what the **** :rofl:
Someone needs to stop watching When Harry Met Sally. God, these people!!

I agree tbh. year by year the more widespread and open LGBT+ culture is, it seems increasingly daft to measure this purely by male/female - people can either control themselves and have honest friendships with others or they can't - and a lot of the time all I essentially see is lots of people claiming they can't control themselves and simply assume no one else can either so it's not their fault. Pfft...
Original post by ABBAForever2015
If a man has more female than male friends and hangs out with them every week, it is weird.
If a woman has more male than female friends and hangs out with them every week, it is also weird.
If you disagree, I hope you would not mind providing an in-depth analysis.

I don't think it's a clean-cut answer... IMHO it depends on the type of person and environments they've been subjected to.

For example, if you go to Uni and are in a mixed sex hall or residence, and doing a course with a reasonable 50/50 male / female ratio (e.g most social sciences), I don't see why you wouldn't get on naturally with people of either sex. Furthermore, in a Uni environment, you're constantly meeting new people... so for these people it's natural for them to appreciate the personality behind the gender. On the other hand, if you left school / education at an early age, and worked in a typically male or female dominated environment (e.g. a car mechanic or hairdressers), then of course it's going to be harder or less natural to form a platonic friendship with the opposite sex.

Besides, there are certain personality types who may naturally get on better with people of the opposite gender to them (e.g. tomboys, mummy's boy etc.)

Original post by ABBAForever2015
How to satisfy that they are merely platonic?

The bottom line is you can't.

IMHO, a purely platonic friendship means that there is absolutely no physical attraction on either side.

I will concur that there are many close male / female friendships, where one person secretly likes the other. Granted, they may accept that it's never going to happen (for whatever reason)... but, as you say, if there's an element of attraction on either side, then it's not a platonic friendship, is it. Although that's not to say that a valuable friendship can't exist between the two of them.

Still, it always makes me laugh when people (particularly girls) say, "of course guys and girls can be just friends"... only to hear about how they ended up sleeping with one of their guy-mates a couple of weeks later :lol:
Reply 8
Original post by ABBAForever2015
How to satisfy that they are merely platonic?

Ultimately I can't but I know when I'm not attracted to someone and I highly doubt all my female friends find me attractive.
Reply 9
Maybe my friendships with my male mates only work because I don't want to shag them, either
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I don't think it's a clean-cut answer... IMHO it depends on the type of person and environments they've been subjected to.
For example, if you go to Uni and are in a mixed sex hall or residence, and doing a course with a reasonable 50/50 male / female ratio (e.g most social sciences), I don't see why you wouldn't get on naturally with people of either sex. Furthermore, in a Uni environment, you're constantly meeting new people... so for these people it's natural for them to appreciate the personality behind the gender. On the other hand, if you left school / education at an early age, and worked in a typically male or female dominated environment (e.g. a car mechanic or hairdressers), then of course it's going to be harder or less natural to form a platonic friendship with the opposite sex.
Besides, there are certain personality types who may naturally get on better with people of the opposite gender to them (e.g. tomboys, mummy's boy etc.)
The bottom line is you can't.
IMHO, a purely platonic friendship means that there is absolutely no physical attraction on either side.
I will concur that there are many close male / female friendships, where one person secretly likes the other. Granted, they may accept that it's never going to happen (for whatever reason)... but, as you say, if there's an element of attraction on either side, then it's not a platonic friendship, is it. Although that's not to say that a valuable friendship can't exist between the two of them.
Still, it always makes me laugh when people (particularly girls) say, "of course guys and girls can be just friends"... only to hear about how they ended up sleeping with one of their guy-mates a couple of weeks later :lol:

Some of them may have been sleeping with each other regularly without anyone else knowing
Original post by gjd800
Maybe my friendships with my male mates only work because I don't want to shag them, either

Are you a man or a woman?
Original post by Gazpacho.
Guess I'm weird then.
Not sure what sort of in-depth analysis you want. I tend to find it easier to platonically bond with women.

Why do you see it as easier to platonically bond with women?
Reply 13
Original post by ABBAForever2015
Are you a man or a woman?
a tathagata has no gender
Original post by gjd800
a tathagata has no gender

I am sadly not Buddhist...But fine

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