Am I being catfished?
Been talking to this guy online for nearly 3 years now. We mainly use tumblr. We're not able to meet because neither of us can drive and train tickets are like £100-150 plus cost of a hotel and we're both unemployed/not in a position to ask for money from our parents. We've talked about everything from our respective awful families to crappy TV shows to childhood traumas. He has a facebook page with photos going back about 4 years (ish) with him in all the photos and regular posts about mainly his dogs and college with random selfies. He has friends on facebook and family, and some basic likes/dislikes/school info and last year for his 18th I got a message from another friend of his asking me to record a message for a compilation happy birthday video thing. We've exchanged mobile numbers. He has an instagram he doesn't really use (in fairness, I don't really use mine, either) and a snapchat that he sometimes uses for filters on selfies. He's never said anything ridiculous, out of line or contradictory so if he's a liar, he's a really good one.
I really really like him (I might even love him) but he seems a little too good to be true. I don't exactly have the best luck, with friends or boyfriends, and I really want him to be real, but I've been catfished before (high school bully who went a little too far) and IDK if I'm just willing him to be real and ignoring warning signs. Thoughts?
I really really like him (I might even love him) but he seems a little too good to be true. I don't exactly have the best luck, with friends or boyfriends, and I really want him to be real, but I've been catfished before (high school bully who went a little too far) and IDK if I'm just willing him to be real and ignoring warning signs. Thoughts?
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Um... guys? Could really do with an outside view?
Did he ever do anything suspicious?
How did you guys meet?
Can't you skype with him?
How did you guys meet?
Can't you skype with him?
Video chat him you moron
How do people get catfished in 2018. You just have to be ****ing stupid.
How do people get catfished in 2018. You just have to be ****ing stupid.
Original post by GlockInmyRari
Did he ever do anything suspicious?
How did you guys meet?
Can't you skype with him?
How did you guys meet?
Can't you skype with him?
Original post by degeneratetbhtbh
Video chat him you moron
How do people get catfished in 2018. You just have to be ****ing stupid.
How do people get catfished in 2018. You just have to be ****ing stupid.
Suspicious how? He's never said or done anything weird or anything that contradicts something he's previously done. One time I did find train tickets to his and back that came to like £40 but he said I couldn't come due to his parents? IDK if that's suspicious or just because we were both in sixth form at the time...
We met on tumblr (I know, I know, but he's basically the only reason I'm still on it at this stage) when a mutual friend basically said that she thought we would get on well and got him to message me.
We tried a couple of times to video chat but stuff keeps going wrong. First off, neither of us have skype, so we had to use the facebook equivalent. The first couple times I had errors on my end (mainly bad WiFi that made me keep freezing, one time I couldn't hear him and another time he couldn't hear me), plus we usually chat late at night so we can't be too loud in case we wake anyone up, and we tried once more after the technical difficulties and he texted and said his laptop wasn't connecting properly (so another WiFi thing) and we pretty much just gave up after that tbh. I saw someone that looked like the pictures on the AV calls but it was only for like less than a minute each time and the picture kept going.
unemployed, can't drive and won't pay £200 to visit you one time in 3 years, and that's too good to be true? 
It sounds okay to me. He has an active and 4 year long facebook, you've been on video chat with him as well. You said once you couldn't hear him and once he couldn't hear you but I'm assuming you could see him? And you also said it was a mutual friend who "set you up" in a way. So your friend knows you and your friend knows him as well? Unless your friend is screwing you over too then it seems legit.
But 3 years and you haven't met yet? Even if it was expensive, talking for 3 years you'd think you'd pay the money to see the person you're almost in love with. How far away do they stay? Do you *have* to stay the night? And if you do you could just get a hotel, make up a lie to parents that you're staying at a friends house, or you could stay there by yourself and just see him during the day. I think it's time to make it happen
But 3 years and you haven't met yet? Even if it was expensive, talking for 3 years you'd think you'd pay the money to see the person you're almost in love with. How far away do they stay? Do you *have* to stay the night? And if you do you could just get a hotel, make up a lie to parents that you're staying at a friends house, or you could stay there by yourself and just see him during the day. I think it's time to make it happen
Just lmao.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
Original post by AndrewSCO
It sounds okay to me. He has an active and 4 year long facebook, you've been on video chat with him as well. You said once you couldn't hear him and once he couldn't hear you but I'm assuming you could see him? And you also said it was a mutual friend who "set you up" in a way. So your friend knows you and your friend knows him as well? Unless your friend is screwing you over too then it seems legit.
But 3 years and you haven't met yet? Even if it was expensive, talking for 3 years you'd think you'd pay the money to see the person you're almost in love with. How far away do they stay? Do you *have* to stay the night? And if you do you could just get a hotel, make up a lie to parents that you're staying at a friends house, or you could stay there by yourself and just see him during the day. I think it's time to make it happen
But 3 years and you haven't met yet? Even if it was expensive, talking for 3 years you'd think you'd pay the money to see the person you're almost in love with. How far away do they stay? Do you *have* to stay the night? And if you do you could just get a hotel, make up a lie to parents that you're staying at a friends house, or you could stay there by yourself and just see him during the day. I think it's time to make it happen
I checked his facebook and it says it was created in 2012 but he didn't start posting until late 2013 so like 5 years active and 6 years existing. And I did see him, but it wasn't for long and the thing cut out or the picture was always messed up due to the connection.
And yeah a mutual friend who I knew in primary school and a bit of high school until her family moved and she met him at the high school she ended up at. I don't think she's setting me up or anything. I don't know why she would.
It's like minimum £100 (closer to £150) to go there and back, and it's 3 trains that take about 8 hours each way, so I would have to stay the night. I'd be going to a hotel because he already has him, his parents, his brother (and brother's fiance) and 2 dogs (which I'm allergic to) crammed into a 3 bedroom house.
We've both been so busy with high school and then college that we haven't had the time to go even if we did have the money, which we don't because both our families said they could afford for us to not have to spend study time at work. I did some volunteer work anyway for experience but it obviously doesn't pay so that's where the rest of my free time went. Neither of us are in a position to ask our families for money, partly because of this. We have plans to get jobs and once my student finance comes through we intend for either me to go to him or vice versa (probably him come here because he's made plans to take a gap year).
Original post by Bulletzone
Just lmao.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
I mean we've probably tried it less than 5 times in 3 years, purely because every time we tried something went wrong, and at this stage it's just easier to text or message. I'll do the spoon thing. Thanks.
Original post by Bulletzone
Just lmao.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
Get him to take a picture with a spoon, no filters.
or
Video call him on snapchat.
I'm struggling to believe all methods of video-calling have failed unless you're both rocking the Nokia flip-phone.
I asked and he said the spoons were in the dishwasher but offered me a pic with a comb instead. And it's a picture I haven't seen before. I put it through the image search thing and got no results that were even similar.
Original post by Anonymous
I checked his facebook and it says it was created in 2012 but he didn't start posting until late 2013 so like 5 years active and 6 years existing. And I did see him, but it wasn't for long and the thing cut out or the picture was always messed up due to the connection.
And yeah a mutual friend who I knew in primary school and a bit of high school until her family moved and she met him at the high school she ended up at. I don't think she's setting me up or anything. I don't know why she would.
It's like minimum £100 (closer to £150) to go there and back, and it's 3 trains that take about 8 hours each way, so I would have to stay the night. I'd be going to a hotel because he already has him, his parents, his brother (and brother's fiance) and 2 dogs (which I'm allergic to) crammed into a 3 bedroom house.
We've both been so busy with high school and then college that we haven't had the time to go even if we did have the money, which we don't because both our families said they could afford for us to not have to spend study time at work. I did some volunteer work anyway for experience but it obviously doesn't pay so that's where the rest of my free time went. Neither of us are in a position to ask our families for money, partly because of this. We have plans to get jobs and once my student finance comes through we intend for either me to go to him or vice versa (probably him come here because he's made plans to take a gap year).
I mean we've probably tried it less than 5 times in 3 years, purely because every time we tried something went wrong, and at this stage it's just easier to text or message. I'll do the spoon thing. Thanks.
And yeah a mutual friend who I knew in primary school and a bit of high school until her family moved and she met him at the high school she ended up at. I don't think she's setting me up or anything. I don't know why she would.
It's like minimum £100 (closer to £150) to go there and back, and it's 3 trains that take about 8 hours each way, so I would have to stay the night. I'd be going to a hotel because he already has him, his parents, his brother (and brother's fiance) and 2 dogs (which I'm allergic to) crammed into a 3 bedroom house.
We've both been so busy with high school and then college that we haven't had the time to go even if we did have the money, which we don't because both our families said they could afford for us to not have to spend study time at work. I did some volunteer work anyway for experience but it obviously doesn't pay so that's where the rest of my free time went. Neither of us are in a position to ask our families for money, partly because of this. We have plans to get jobs and once my student finance comes through we intend for either me to go to him or vice versa (probably him come here because he's made plans to take a gap year).
I mean we've probably tried it less than 5 times in 3 years, purely because every time we tried something went wrong, and at this stage it's just easier to text or message. I'll do the spoon thing. Thanks.
Well I'm sure he's legit but maybe you should ask yourself if it's worth even pursing this if the distance is that far. 8 hours by train? You've already devoted a lot of your time to this and is there even any point if you're not going to be near him any time soon either. You're going to uni by the sounds of it, sure maybe he can see you a couple of times on his gap year but then what? Will he even see you on his gap year? 8 hours of travel is a lot no matter what and honestly if it hasn't happened already will it ever? £100 isn't nothing but it's not tons either to save up for after 3 years. Maybe this just won't work
facetime him. thats how i know a stranger is genuine
Original post by Anonymous
I asked and he said the spoons were in the dishwasher but offered me a pic with a comb instead. And it's a picture I haven't seen before. I put it through the image search thing and got no results that were even similar.
Okay that's just stupid and now I'm starting to doubt it too. Spoons were in the dishwasher? He lives at home do they only have like 3 spoons? We have like 15 for 5 of us and could he not just wait til it was finished
Catfished... probably not. You could get a better idea by doing some reverse image searches on his pictures but that's not 100% foolproof... still, it seems a bit too elaborate to be a fake person.
However, are you having your time wasted by someone who has no intention of ever meeting and will always back out? Possibly, and that's probably more irritating than being catfished.
However, are you having your time wasted by someone who has no intention of ever meeting and will always back out? Possibly, and that's probably more irritating than being catfished.
Video chat him if you're paranoid.
It'd be very difficult to collate resources to make a fake profile with 4 years worth of material and whole hosts of fake friends, but catfished or not you'll need to at least speak to the guy to be sure of anything. There's usually a slight disconnect between people's online selves and their irl self (I am not this articulate when speaking irl, for example.)
But I personally would not waste 6 years of my life creating a fake profile, complete with a vast network of fake facebook friends, in order to catfish a girl for a long period of time without once either arranging a meet or asking for nudes. I can't think of any guy that would.
It'd be very difficult to collate resources to make a fake profile with 4 years worth of material and whole hosts of fake friends, but catfished or not you'll need to at least speak to the guy to be sure of anything. There's usually a slight disconnect between people's online selves and their irl self (I am not this articulate when speaking irl, for example.)
But I personally would not waste 6 years of my life creating a fake profile, complete with a vast network of fake facebook friends, in order to catfish a girl for a long period of time without once either arranging a meet or asking for nudes. I can't think of any guy that would.
I find it hard to believe that you can't get SOME kind of video chat to work i n 2018. Very suspicious.
From the total B.S excuses you're being given, unless he has extreme anxiety issues you're being catfished.
/thread
/thread
You could private message me with what you know about this guy/what you have on him. Give me some time and I will be able to find out everything about him and any odd fake profiles or duplicate profiles I will be able to find out for you.
(edited 5 years ago)
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