Living in someone's shadow

My best friend Lilly is the smarter, funnier and more confident one out of us both. So whenever I am with her I feel as if i'm living in her shadow...like i'm just tagging along, while everyone notices her and talks to her because of her great personality, while i'm just there on the side as the quiet one who has nothing to say and has no personality :frown:

Reply 1

sarCAZm

11

I think everyone feels like that about someone. And try not to blame her, as she most likely doesn't do anything on purpose, or even know how you feel. Just focus on your own good qualities, which I am sure are numerous.
I feel like I'm always living under my sisters shadow..Shes so perfect. But if anything it inspires me to try and be just as good as she is. A bit of competition is healthy

Reply 2

dh00001

16

i think everyone feels like that at some point. imo and indeed experience people are noticing you but dont say anything because youre so confinced theyre not youre giving off bad vibes. start thinking that people are noticing you, and should notice you.
find things in yourself that you prefer than what this other girl has

Reply 3

Saffie

11

Basically you need to hang out with other mates more. Its a nice feeling to go to things on your own, say and act however you want, and you'll realise that people like you. This way you make better friendships as well which dont result in you feeling overshadowed with others.

The problem with the way you feel is that you're really aware of it, so it makes you more self conscious when you're out with this girl- and thus probably quieter and more anxious, which just makes the situation worse. Maybe just try and forget about it when you're with her.

Reply 4

kiddranc

Anonymous

My best friend Lilly is the smarter, funnier and more confident one out of us both. So whenever I am with her I feel as if i'm living in her shadow...like i'm just tagging along, while everyone notices her and talks to her because of her great personality, while i'm just there on the side as the quiet one who has nothing to say and has no personality :frown:

We all get little jealousies now and then. IMO it's how we deal with them that's important.

Personally I tell myself that so what if someone is better than me at something. Everyone has their own unique talents and aptitudes. Focus on something you are good at and shine on your own merits.

Reply 5

cerise

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. Don't put her on a pedestal, even if only in your mind.

Reply 6

CheesyBeans

1

Anonymous

My best friend Lilly is the smarter, funnier and more confident one out of us both. So whenever I am with her I feel as if i'm living in her shadow...like i'm just tagging along, while everyone notices her and talks to her because of her great personality, while i'm just there on the side as the quiet one who has nothing to say and has no personality :frown:

Yep, all the time.
Most of my friends are or have been guys and I think this is because in the past I was always living in the shadow of any female friends. One of my oldest friends is now a model and had loads of attention, from boys and girls, during in school for being tall, thin, bubbly and funny while I was the short, dumpy one she hung around with. It didn't help that she used to always point out how short or young I look or how quiet or shy I am. She *claims* this was in a nice and helping way but it just exagerated my insecurities.

Now, any girl who hangs around with us gets crap loads of attention and, even though I don't want that kind of attention from my males friends, it really does my head in. It kind of points out just how ungreat I actually am.

Reply 7

YouAreWhatYouEat

wes

bumped because it took a while to get approved

why??

sounds like a reasonable topic to discuss :s-smilie:

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I empathise with you completely. There's a girl at school who always has worse problems than me, or needs more help than me, is more worth talking to than me and is more worth going out with than me.
It annoys me a lot and hurts me to an extent. I don't say anything cos last time i did she had a go at me telling me i was attention-seeking, selfish and why should any1 bother with me

I'm just waiting for the time when i go to uni cos then im not in her shadow and can start being that confident/popular person i wanna be.

(plz keep anon or delete cos the person i'm tlking bout uses this and doesnt kno how i feel)

Reply 9

atoms4peace

1

I feel like that sometimes its like when i walk around my college with one particular friend so many people say "hey" to her. I get like 1 maybe 2 "heys" if you know what i mean. Shes so loud and confident while im more reserved, i dont shout out the first thing that comes into my head like she does or act stupid in lessons so i get noticed less

Reply 10

nxwxxl

Dont Worry your awesome. your friend probably dosnt mean to. if yo feel she does, confront her

Reply 11

Drax101

14

So what is about you? What are your ambitions? Hobbies? Aspirations? Where do you go out to have fun?

What is the best qualities about yourself also have an image, style or something. It can also help if you make some new friends.

Start taking an interest in your own life.

Reply 12

Aria Enoshima

16

It's always impressive when people manage to drag up threads from eight years ago.

Reply 13

Mpagtches

16

Don't change and don't get them to change.
Just wait for the Sun to move across the sky :smile:

Spoiler

Reply 14

tailred

11

Original post by Anonymous

My best friend Lilly is the smarter, funnier and more confident one out of us both. So whenever I am with her I feel as if i'm living in her shadow...like i'm just tagging along, while everyone notices her and talks to her because of her great personality, while i'm just there on the side as the quiet one who has nothing to say and has no personality :frown:

If I met you and your friend lilly, I would more likely to be interested in you. Why because you seem interesting due to the fact that you don't give away information easily. People will be naturally attracted to you, don't worry.

Reply 15

a noble chance

3

Original post by nxwxxl

Dont Worry your awesome. your friend probably dosnt mean to. if yo feel she does, confront her

Original post by Drax101

So what is about you? What are your ambitions? Hobbies? Aspirations? Where do you go out to have fun?

What is the best qualities about yourself also have an image, style or something. It can also help if you make some new friends.

Start taking an interest in your own life.

Original post by Aria Enoshima

It's always impressive when people manage to drag up threads from eight years ago.

Original post by Mpagtches

Don't change and don't get them to change.
Just wait for the Sun to move across the sky :smile:

Spoiler

Original post by tailred

If I met you and your friend lilly, I would more likely to be interested in you. Why because you seem interesting due to the fact that you don't give away information easily. People will be naturally attracted to you, don't worry.

This thread was started five and a half years ago; the OP may well be dead now.

Reply 16

Drax101

14

lol, I didn't know that, I was just scrolling on the 2nd page of the relationships sub forum.

Reply 17

Mpagtches

16

Original post by a noble chance

This thread was started five and a half years ago; the OP may well be dead now.

That's the optimist talking there :wink:

Reply 18

Aria Enoshima

16

Original post by a noble chance

This thread was started five and a half years ago; the OP may well be dead now.

You didn't see me make exactly the same point you just said?

If you make quotes and not read the content of them, that makes you just as bad as people who first reply to threads from that long ago.