What to do about an unresponsive friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
hi,

I have a friend (or at least I think I do) who never reaches out to me first. She's always very busy with work, studies and her boyfriend, which I understand, but I feel as though if someone is really your friend then you make time for them when you can.
However, I'm always the first to suggest that we meet up, often she agrees to but she doesn't sound very enthusiastic about the idea, even when we haven't seen each other for months.
We often go weeks without talking at all. Is this someone you would consider a friend or should I ditch her? I understand she's busy but I can't help but feel cut out.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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We were fairly close in the beginning and she often contacted me first, but not now, unless it's a video she sends to everyone on whatsapp. I even emailed her because she had some queries about volunteering and she wanted my help, I gave her the information and never got so much as a thank you. But if I bring this up it'll just feel like I'm whining.
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Simbasoul
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#3
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Friendship is a 2 way process - whilst everyone knows that lives are busy, so there is often times that my friends might not respond straight away or can't do something together, we all make the effort to get together regularly if not frequently - and are always on the end of a whatsapp or text. People who only speak to you when they want something are not particularly friends. Why not stop contactting her and see how long it is before she makes touch with you - does she even notice?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Simbasoul)
Friendship is a 2 way process - whilst everyone knows that lives are busy, so there is often times that my friends might not respond straight away or can't do something together, we all make the effort to get together regularly if not frequently - and are always on the end of a whatsapp or text. People who only speak to you when they want something are not particularly friends. Why not stop contactting her and see how long it is before she makes touch with you - does she even notice?
if I did that I might not hear from her ever again, the way she's been. I did see her last weekend but she seemed reluctact to meet up, as she has such a busy schedule.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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To me it shouldn't be an effort to meet friends. It should be something you want to do and look forward to.
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Simbasoul
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
if I did that I might not hear from her ever again, the way she's been. I did see her last weekend but she seemed reluctact to meet up, as she has such a busy schedule.
There is your answer then...if she is too busy to see you - or makes no effort to contact you - then you are not a priority to her and she does not see your friendship as being important. It happens - people drift apart...
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Simbasoul)
There is your answer then...if she is too busy to see you - or makes no effort to contact you - then you are not a priority to her and she does not see your friendship as being important. It happens - people drift apart...
it's not like I have a handful of other friends to turn to though
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Anonymous #1
#8
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#8
maybe it's me. I sometimes find it hard to follow what she's saying.
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Emma:-)
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hi,

I have a friend (or at least I think I do) who never reaches out to me first. She's always very busy with work, studies and her boyfriend, which I understand, but I feel as though if someone is really your friend then you make time for them when you can.
However, I'm always the first to suggest that we meet up, often she agrees to but she doesn't sound very enthusiastic about the idea, even when we haven't seen each other for months.
We often go weeks without talking at all. Is this someone you would consider a friend or should I ditch her? I understand she's busy but I can't help but feel cut out.
Id ditch her.
Friendship is a 2 way thing. I know we all get busy and all that, but you seem to be making all the effort and she seems to be making none.
Don't blame yourself. Its not your fault that she cant be bothered.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Emma:-))
Id ditch her.
Friendship is a 2 way thing. I know we all get busy and all that, but you seem to be making all the effort and she seems to be making none.
Don't blame yourself. Its not your fault that she cant be bothered.
I think I will, but this seems to be a pattern now and I dont know how to change it.
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