Depression Society MkII

Sabertooth

I'm meant to be working in the library got up early to do it but I can barely read more than a few lines, wtf is wrong with me. I'm such a moron. How am I meant to write 3 essays when reading a page is impossible? :frown:

Stick at it, Just do a little bit at a time if you can. And afterwards you will feel good that you have acheived something, I always do.

Last night i slept so bad, I dont know what happened. I kept hallucinating to a point i would jump out of bed. A few times i heard things in my room, then i also saw shadows moving/things moving in my room and i would turn the ligh on and jump up.
But was the worst, I (apparantly) saw i giant spider on my ceiling right above me, so I darted up and spent 10mins looking around for it....This kept happening all night, im so tired :s-smilie:

Reply 3443

Sophie_145

I ******* hate my life. i hate everything about it. i don't have a close relationship with my parents and i feel as if i can't talk to them about anything- all they do is shout at me constantly and i hate it. i can't stand it anymore. i would prefer to be dead than here at all. i've thought about suicide before but have no idea how i'd kill myself and i don't want people to know how depressed i've been feeling. i can't exactly end my life. all i want is happiness and affection but when i'm at home i'm never happy. sixth form is crappy- it seems impossible and there's so much work. i just feel as if i can't cope with life anymore and i want to give up.
i don't know what the point of this post is but this is the only way i can put my feelings across. i don't know what else to do.

Reply 3444

bansheeee*

4

Laus

I can't go to uni.

I feel depressed, I'm too exhausted, I have no clothes, I'm FAT, I ******* hate myself........ my parents will hate me but I don't care. I REALLY can't do this. I can't pretend I want to go -I don't want to go. I don't want to stay like this either but moving won't help. I feel so so sick and scared and just awful.

have you not started uni YET? you should go things will get better once you've started.

Reply 3445

I've just got back from a lovely weekend in Norwich (yay!) to find the toilets still have't been cleaned up... bleugh. It's smelling and why the hell can people not clean up after themselves if they vomit everywhere?

Reply 3446

eurgh, what a rubbish weekend. don't want to be alive anymore

Reply 3447

What's up Liz? :hugs:

Reply 3448

I've just wasted my weekend trying to dry laundry. I'm so frustrated and stressed out. Not got into a work routine, can't do the sodding degree, finding it hard to be sociable, the guy I get on really well with hasn't spoken to me since Friday morning so i'm worried i've somehow (dont quite know how) messed that up, my housemates are doing my head in with their smoking, i can't go home cos my mum is doing my head in but i don't have anything to stay here for. i don't have anything in the world to stay for

Reply 3449

Laundry: have you got a hair dryer? We've all been using them to dry ours!
Workwise: Don't panic. Maybe do a bit every day?
About the guy: It's been the weekend, so he's probably just busy, don't worry. How could you have messed it up :hugs:

Is it possible you could go for a walk to calm down? :hugs:

Reply 3450

raspberrybubbles

Laundry: have you got a hair dryer? We've all been using them to dry ours!
Workwise: Don't panic. Maybe do a bit every day?
About the guy: It's been the weekend, so he's probably just busy, don't worry. How could you have messed it up :hugs:

Is it possible you could go for a walk to calm down? :hugs:

I spent over an hour with my hairdryer trying to dry stuff but it's still wet. Made a washing line out of string my mum gave me and have put some stuff on there. Just wish the stupid radiators worked!

Don't know how I could have messed up other than 1. texting him once friday telling him what our lecturer had said about my question (he told me to text him the answer so i did) 2. texting him yesterday saying i hoped he had a good day with his parents 3. leaving a message on his facebook wall today asking how he is. Meh, maybe he doesn't like me. Seems strange after everything he's said to me but a lot can change in 48 hours. Maybe he's found another girl who he prefers.

I could go for a walk and I probably should but I don't know where I'd go. Could walk to the centre of campus but I'd be getting cold and I'd be seeing groups of people and getting upset. Might just go and have a shower and go to bed.

How was your weekend with Siti? x

Reply 3451

Not Invented Yet

12

Aaaaaagh stressed! :woo:

I have been :bawling:

all weekend about how the hell I'm supposed to finish my personal statement, get my UCAS application sent and do the work I need to get AAB and get into Warwick... all whilst not actually attending school! I don't understand anything in History anyway, even when I am in the lessons, and I just can't see HOW I'm going to pass any exams this summer and I'm absolutely suffocated by the stress of it. The worst thing is that this could all be solved so easily by me being strong and just GOING TO SCHOOL! but I'm just too weak and pathetic to do that and I'm so angry with myself.

At this rate, all I can see happening is me failing this year and being forced to start 6th form all over again, watch all my friends go off to uni without me and waste two years redoing A Levels which I'll probably fail anyway.

:banghead:

Now my stressing is making me even more angry with me because other people have real issues to stress about, and I'm just making a big fuss out of something that everyone else manages fine and I don't know why I have to be so much of a wuss. It goes on and on in a big vicious circle of self-pity and self-hatred and I'm so fed up of it.

Reply 3452

*pink_sapphires*

I spent over an hour with my hairdryer trying to dry stuff but it's still wet. Made a washing line out of string my mum gave me and have put some stuff on there. Just wish the stupid radiators worked!

Don't know how I could have messed up other than 1. texting him once friday telling him what our lecturer had said about my question (he told me to text him the answer so i did) 2. texting him yesterday saying i hoped he had a good day with his parents 3. leaving a message on his facebook wall today asking how he is. Meh, maybe he doesn't like me. Seems strange after everything he's said to me but a lot can change in 48 hours. Maybe he's found another girl who he prefers.

I could go for a walk and I probably should but I don't know where I'd go. Could walk to the centre of campus but I'd be getting cold and I'd be seeing groups of people and getting upset. Might just go and have a shower and go to bed.

How was your weekend with Siti? x

I think he might just be busy, if he's been out and could have no credit?

The weekend was really lovely... I want to go back to Norwich but meh, I'm in Brum. I have pics to put up, and some funny stories that'll go as captions! SiTARa is really lovely, you need to meet her :smile:

Reply 3453

raspberrybubbles

I think he might just be busy, if he's been out and could have no credit?

The weekend was really lovely... I want to go back to Norwich but meh, I'm in Brum. I have pics to put up, and some funny stories that'll go as captions! SiTARa is really lovely, you need to meet her :smile:

Yeah, hopefully everything will be ok in the morning when I see him and he'll cheer me up. He said on Friday that he could never be angry with me so that's cool :smile:

So glad you had a good weekend. I would absolutely love to meet both of you but I don't know how I'd manage it.....Christmas hols maybe?

Not done any work this weekend. Damn housemate making me go on a 3 hour walk yesterday just because she couldn't bear to be in the house when our housemate's gf was here....she slept with him in freshers week and is really jealous of his gf and now her period is late and she won't take a test and eurgh, it's a nightmare! Looking forward to going home next weekend...get to drive and get away from these people who don't live in the same world as me.

Reply 3454

Bangers+Mash

First time in a long time, I feel bad.
I knew it would come back and its worse than ever Why!! :frown:

I've been trying so so hard and now thats it, Back to square one.

Im going to bed before i end up doing something bad.
I feel so selfish now.

Reply 3455

I hope bed helps :smile:

Reply 3456

Bangers+Mash

It's happened again, I've failed this time.
Im just about to go to college but i really dont want to, I look an absolute mess, Im all over the place. I should already be at college, but i didt get out of bed on time suprise suprise. I hate this so much, I dont know if i want to carry all of this on, Its fairly obvious i cant cope.

Reply 3457

Luke, if you still go in it's an achievement. Please don't punish yourself, but things will get better with time :hugs:

Reply 3458

Dinendal Leralonde

Well life sucks again. And just when I thought I was getting a break as well!

I thought I was getting closer to one of my friends. She'd want to see me at least every other night, and every time, she'd get a bit more touchy-feely, sit really close to me, even if there was room enough so she didn't have to, and sometimes rest her head on my shoulder. And if we weren't sitting together, she'd constantly glance over the table at me. Anytime photos of us were uploaded to Facebook, she'd make it her profile picture. And last night, when she sent a text asking if I was out, I was a bit too busy to answer straight away, so about 10 minutes later, she sent another text.

But then, last night, she invited another one of our friends out. She moved herself to sit with him, and I noticed them starting to hold hands. When he left to go toilet, she asked if she "could let me in on a secret", and told me she really liked him.

This has just ****** up everything. I didn't just imagine that there was or could have been a spark between us, did I? I was gonna have a party on Saturday, and they were both invited, but now this bombshell has been dropped on me, I don't know if it's a good idea or not. Everyone will be fueled up on alcohol, be having a good time, and something's inevitably going to happen between them, and I don't know if I could stand to see that happen in my own house, with me inevitably being left alone. Again.

I did tell her last night how I felt when she told me she liked the other guy. Typically, I got the same ******** as usual...She likes me, but I'm "just PP, her mate". At first I regretted telling her, but I'm sure now it was for the best. I'm fed up with pretending nothing's wrong, and if I carried on like that, it would have only made things worse.

I hate being me so much :frown:

I hate always being "just a mate". I hate always being alone, and I hate that this is how I'm always gonna be.

I feel so cut off from everyone else. Like I'm not even human anymore. There's no way I could possibly meet anyone where I work, and work leaves little time to do anything else to meet anyone. And I feel like I've been left without a purpose...If the meaning and purpose of life is procreation, then why am I here?

Sorry for the lengthy rant, but I had to get it off my chest somehow, and it's not like I can just break down at work.

How am I supposed to, or expected to, carry on like this? :frown:

Reply 3459

Dinendal Leralonde