Depression Society MkII

for emily. Do you want to talk hun? x

Reply 81

I am feeling very down today. I told my mom about the councellor and all my problems. I was planning how i would finish myself today and it was very intense - i just shouted it whilst i was out - i couldnt escape it or keep it to myself - was that intense!! I dont know what would have happened if i was on my own. I've scared myself today and im frightened at the same time. My mom was nice to me and she said she could support me which is something!!

Reply 82

fairy spangles

I am feeling very down today. I told my mom about the councellor and all my problems. I was planning how i would finish myself today and it was very intense - i just shouted it whilst i was out - i couldnt escape it or keep it to myself - was that intense!! I dont know what would have happened if i was on my own. I've scared myself today and im frightened at the same time. My mom was nice to me and she said she could support me which is something!!

sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm here if you want to talk. I'm glad your mum is supportive though :hugs:

Reply 83

becki08

sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm here if you want to talk. I'm glad your mum is supportive though :hugs:

Thanks becki
I think my mom has seen me worse before - i think i am getting worse by the day. I keep snapping at everyone then i have moments of complete well i dont even know.
Maybe i need some professional help again!!

Reply 84

fairy spangles

Thanks becki
I think my mom has seen me worse before - i think i am getting worse by the day. I keep snapping at everyone then i have moments of complete well i dont even know.
Maybe i need some professional help again!!

It's worth looking into. I talked to my mum last night too and I might be going back to see my psychiatrist too. :hugs:

Reply 85

becki08

It's worth looking into. I talked to my mum last night too and I might be going back to see my psychiatrist too. :hugs:

i always ran away from seeing one.
i dont have the guts to go and get some more help.

Reply 86

fairy spangles

i always ran away from seeing one.
i dont have the guts to go and get some more help.

I know it's scary but if you need it you should go. Is there any reason why you don't want to go? :hugs:

Reply 87

i think im gonna go to my GP i think that i need to try and sort some things out. I have a feeling some new tablets might be the cause of some of my problems!!

Reply 88

Laus

13

Been talking in the box tonight.

Picked up my 'scripts earlier today, which is good.

Feeling low tonight but I guess that's nothing new! I must sound like a broken record.

How is everyone?

Reply 89

Watching kill bill and will probably watch tv all night. Fab.

Reply 90

bansheeee*

4

Anyone watch Big Brother? sorry I know I asked that already :redface:

Lol

Reply 91

*pink_sapphires*

Thank god for cancellations! Thank you to whomever it is in Bedford who cancelled their driving test tonight! Means I can steal their spot! The DVLA decided to cancel my test due to "unforseen circumstances" and rescheduled it for August 20th!! Been looking all afternoon for a cancellation and about an hour ago, someone cancelled theirs which was on Thursday, only 1 day after mine should have been, so I've managed to rebook :biggrin:

Weird day. Was disappointed and annoyed, then huge family issues but now everyone is in bed and I'm feeling a bit better.

Big hugs to everyone, especially Emily for being so lovely tonight! :hugs:

P.S. Have finally finished writing my CV! Let the job hunt begin! :biggrin:

Reply 92

Anyone around? Really freaking out about noises i can hear :frown:

Reply 93

Ended up sleeping on the sofa in what i can only describe as my worst nights sleep ever...

Reply 94

upturnedpalms

xemilyx

Ended up sleeping on the sofa in what i can only describe as my worst nights sleep ever...

Oh hun, I'm sorry. I tried to come on last night but my internet went out, which drives me insane, and I was out all day. Sorry you had such a tough night. Do you want to talk about it?

I've missed a lot, but going back to when Laus and I think Siti were talking about dreams... I have three problems with dreams. Firstly, your basic nightmares. I don't know how basic they are actually, compared to most people's, but there you go. I've always dreamed really vividly.

Second thing is lucid dreaming, which I don't think is always a bad thing. Actually, it can be sort of... nice. For those of you who may not know about it, it's having extremely vivid dreams which you can control. It doesn't happen all the time; I have to realise that I'm dreaming before I can actually control anything, and it seems to depend on my mood or sleep levels or something. But when it does happen I can control the people, places, my own actions and appearance and pretty much anything I want. It's like living a daydream. The only problem is that the more you do it, the better you get and I end up living way too much in my dream world, and reality goes out of focus.

The last thing is what Laus mentioned. Sometimes I dream I'm with a certain person/ people and they love me, and it's so real and wonderful, and then I wake up sobbing and alone again. Apparently, I was at a friend's house once and I woke up screaming 'Take me back! God please, please, take me back.'

Reply 95

bansheeee*

4

whats the problem with dreams? becuase they even if they are awful dreams they often mean the opposite,like if you dream you die or something it means you are going to get fortune or something ? After all they aren't real.

Reply 96

ThePenguinMafia

yesterday I was majorly let down, and felt quite upset about it. Then I realised this was the first time I'd felt emotion in over two years, and became very happy about it.

Happy about being miserable. I think I'm going mad. I wonder if two years of apathy can be termed depression in any way.

Reply 97

upturnedpalms

bansheeee*

whats the problem with dreams? becuase they even if they are awful dreams they often mean the opposite,like if you dream you die or something it means you are going to get fortune or something ? After all they aren't real.

I don't believe there's any real life significance to what you dream; I don't think they tell you the future or reflect your position in life and suddenly give you a premonition or something.

I know they're not real, I'm not an idiot. But try dreaming about killing yourself over and over again and you'll see why there can sometimes be a problem with them.

Reply 98

bansheeee*

whats the problem with dreams? becuase they even if they are awful dreams they often mean the opposite,like if you dream you die or something it means you are going to get fortune or something ? After all they aren't real.

Imagine having a dream every night for about a month. The same one. It's so distressing you can't bring yourself to go to sleep at night. You panic before you go to bed and you find yourself in the dream again unable to wake yourself up. You became convinced it's real. You then get hunted down and shot in the head in the same place everytime, you don't die straight away, but when you do go to heaven or die, you get rejected by the one person you care most about. That for the past 5 years you've been scared that they hate you and are disappointed in you. It hurts. And it happens every night.

You tell me that dreams don't matter. Because my god, that dream is as real as any day of my life and it scares me to no wits end. You tell me dreams don't matter when you.re so sleep deprived you start loosing another part of you that you thought was still there.

Reply 99